Chapter 11
Creedence
My eyes opened as I blinked the sleep away.
I ran my hand over the space next to me and found it empty and cold.
I sat up immediately, my eyes scanning my room for Alexander.
“Alexander?” I called out.
Nothing.
I looked around my room.
His jeans weren’t on the floor.
His boots were gone.
His socks were gone.
His tee was gone.
His kutte was gone.
And his gray ball cap wasn’t hanging on my bedpost.
A terrible feeling crept through my entire frame.
This was bad.
This wasn’t like Alexander.
He wouldn’t leave without waking me up.
Of that, I was sure.
I reached for my phone and tapped the screen.
Nothing.
And as I got dressed, a sense of urgency swept through me.
I raced through getting ready, raced out of my room, down the stairs, and out to my car.
I made it to the clubhouse in ten minutes... to see Alexander loading his bike with Uncle Knox’s help into the back of his pickup truck.
I pulled into the lot and hit the brakes, threw the car into park, and bolted out of my seat, then cursed myself because the seatbelt tugged me back into the seat. Motherfucker.
Once I was free, I jumped out of my car and raced to him.
He was facing me with his feet shoulder-width apart and his arms crossed over his chest.
Uncle Knox gave me a chin lift and then turned on his boot and walked back into the clubhouse.
I stared up into those mesmerizing mossy-colored eyes of his and asked, “What’s going on?”
He sighed, “I’m leaving.”
I felt something reach inside me, grip my heart, and squeeze it.
“You weren’t planning on telling me, were you?”
His jaw ticked.
“No, Cree. I wasn’t.”
I felt my body flinch.
Cree.
He never called me Cree.
I wasn’t Cree to him.
No, I was either Creedence or Star Shine.
“Why not?” I asked.
He stayed silent.
I stepped closer to him and laid my palms on his chest.
His jaw ticked again.
I left them there.
After everything we shared last night, he could damn well deal with it.
“Alexander. Why not?”
“It’s Ripper. I stopped being Alexander a while ago.”
I stared up at him, then asked, “And what about last night?”
Then... I watched as he flinched.
He. Fucking. Flinched.
Fuck, but did that hurt.
He sighed as he pulled his ball cap off his head and ran his fingers through his dark hair I’d had my hands in only hours before, and then... he stepped away from me.
My hands fell to my sides.
That didn’t hurt.
No. It cut so fucking deep I wasn’t sure that I was still breathing.
“I have to do this. This place... too many bad fucking memories.”
“Then you make new ones with me,” I said as I took a tentative step toward him.
He shook his head. I stopped.
“Alexander,” I whispered as I felt my heart cracking.
He sighed, “Just let it go, Cree. Yeah?”
I winced at him calling me Cree again.
He caught it, but he did nothing about it.
“Did last night not mean anything to you?” I asked.
Then he cut into me with words I never thought he would ever say to me, “Last night shouldn’t have happened.”
That was when it happened; my heart cracked wide open.
“You told me you were mine. You gave all of yourself to me,” I reminded him.
He stayed silent.
I swallowed. “Your mind is made up then?”
He nodded.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“Pinewood Lake Chapter in SC.” Then he stepped around me and headed to his truck without another word.
“Alexander?” I called out.
I watched as his shoulders tensed, and then he twisted his head to look back at me, “What?”
“Don’t you ever fucking lie to me again,” I growled.
“I did’n...” he started.
I growled, “You did. You said last night shouldn’t have happened. That was a lie, and you fucking know it. Don’t do it again.”
I watched his chest rise as he took in a deep breath, then with those mossy-colored eyes of his locked to mine, he said, “I’ll always be yours. Okay?”
I didn’t respond.
I wanted to tell him I would always be his.
I wanted to tell him not to go.
I wanted to be his armor against this world and protect that soft side he only gave to me.
But I did none of those things.
I said none of those things.
I just watched him get in his truck and close the door.
Close the door on the future I’d already made plans for.
Like a baby boy who looked just like him.
And a daughter we named Annabelle.
Alexander
I looked in my rearview mirror, memorized every single inch of her, and then I lifted my foot off the brake and pressed down on the gas pedal.
Another one of my mistakes.