Chapter 18
Creedence
Present
“A-choo.” I blew into the Kleenex I was clutching like a lifeline.
The worst thing about being a healthcare worker was being susceptible to germs.
Yes, I got the flu shot.
Yes, I still got the flu.
I sighed.
I was drained.
But I needed medicine that my doctor had called in for me.
I turned on my blinker and pulled into the pharmacy lot.
After I parked my car, I climbed out and headed inside.
And of course, there was a line. Wonderful.
While waiting, I opened the app and checked on my order that was to be delivered later that day and frowned.
That was weird.
The order was canceled.
I didn’t have the headspace to do anything about it right now.
Ten minutes later, I was finally at the front counter, and I just gave the man my name, “Creedence Nichols.”
He nodded, then asked, “Date of birth?”
“February nineteenth, nineteen ninety-six,” I told him in a nasally tone.
He typed it into the computer, then looked at me, “It’s already been filled. Next.”
I frowned, “What do you mean it’s already been filled? I just got here to pick it up.”
He looked at me and rolled his eyes, then typed something. “It was picked up by a...” he trailed off.
“By a who?” I asked.
He looked at me and said, “Her man. Does that make any sense to you?”
I frowned.
And then I growled.
“That motherfucker,” I snapped.
The man’s eyes went wide, and he even took a step back.
I turned on my heel and stalked out of the pharmacy.
“How fucking dare he?” I snapped as I yanked open my car door.
“Twelve fucking years and he calls himself my man?” I put the key into the ignition and started it.
“Twelve fucking years of sleeping alone, and he calls himself my man?” I buckled up.
“Twelve fucking years and not a single fucking word out of him?” I put the car into reverse.
“That... asshole,” I growled as I headed to my apartment.
“When I get my hands on him,” I seethed.
Then proceeded to sneeze no less than thirty-one times on the way home.
Fifteen minutes later, I stepped into my apartment and smelled it.
Chicken fucking noodle soup. Not the store-bought kind. No, the good kind from Chick-fil-A. “That motherfucking ass,” I growled.
I knew it was him.
He was the only one I told about my love for it when I was sick.
He was the one I smelled in my apartment.
And it was his black bag that was in my bedroom.
I walked to my island and looked into the white bag. There it was. A bowl of the good stuff.
I looked in two plastic bags sitting next to it.
And then I looked at the note that was scribbled in his all too familiar slanted handwriting, “I’m sorry you're sick. R.”
In the plastic bags was my pickup order from the pharmacy.
Kleenexes. Throat lozenges. Ice cream Sandwiches. A book.
In the next bag, I felt a tear trail down my cheek.
A black pair of fuzzy socks. A soft black blanket. A box of chocolates.
I closed my eyes and swallowed.
Then I pulled my phone out of my bag, scrolled to his name, and texted him.
Me – You're such a fucking asshole.
Ripper – I know.
Seeing his response... a fresh wave of tears trailed down my cheeks.
I ripped the tags off the socks and blanket, pulled the socks on, carried my other bags to the couch, took the medicine, curled up with the blanket, and ate my soup.
Then... as the medicine worked, I fell asleep.
And the next morning... I woke up in my bed with a bottle of water and my next dose on my nightstand.
***
I glared down at his truck three weeks later.
I had every intention of walking down there and giving him a piece of my mind... but then my phone pinged with a text.
Ripper – See those wheels spinning in that beautiful head of yours. Still working on me. So, don’t.
***
I was out with Kristie and Malinda at Juices, the local bar and dance hall, when I felt the air around us shift.
Of course, he was here.
It was nighttime.
I glared down at my drink.
“I swear, I’ve seen that guy before. Do you know who he is?” Malinda asked.
I looked up at her and then looked at Kristie.
Kristie nodded, “Yeah. Gosh. He’s hot, whoever he is.”
I looked at Ripper, who was looking at me, and smiled a small smile.
Just in time for Ripper to lock his eyes with mine.
“Yeah, I know who that is,” I told them as my eyes drank in the sight of him.
He returned the favor.
“And?” Malinda asked.
Kristie nodded, “Yeah, who is he?”
I looked away from Ripper and said, “That’s my dark.”
Malinda’s eyes went wide, “You're shitting me?”
I shook my head, “Nope.”
Kristie frowned, “Why do I get the feeling I’m not in the loop?”
That was when Malinda filled Kristie in on what I told her all those years ago.
I looked back at Ripper, only the spot he was in was now empty.
My eyes scanned for him, but when I didn’t see him, I sighed.
Just then, the waitress who’d been serving us all night placed a bill in front of Kristie and one in front of Malinda. Then she winked at me, “Your bill has been paid.”
A small smile hit my lips.
“Damn. Now I want someone who’s dark.”
Kristie tapped her glass against Malinda’s, “Same.”
That night, as I got ready for bed, I caught a whiff of something.
I looked at my bed and felt the air in my lungs stall.
That hoodie.
That hoodie I’d bought for him when I was sixteen, for a Christmas present, was lying on my pillow.
I padded over the carpet, bent and picked it up, then I brought it to my nose and inhaled.
That nothing I’d been feeling for years... was slowly starting to ebb away.
How in the world could I be mad at him when he did things like this?
God, I wanted to be.
Raging.
Furious.
But moments like this. Taking time out of his day to do this... I was wavering.
Damn him.
I slept in that hoodie that night.
***
Four weeks later, I was on a FaceTime call with my mom. We were making our final plans for a family vacation when she frowned.
“What?” I asked.
She narrowed her eyes, then said, “Hang on, baby. Garret?”
I heard my dad answer back, “Yeah, baby?”
“Did you already pay the travel agency?” she asked.
“Nope. Next week I’m paying it. Why?” he asked.
She frowned again, “Because it was already paid. I’ll call you back, Cree.”
Then she was gone.
I frowned.
Who in the world would pay for something like that?
And then it hit me... Ripper.
I knew he did it.
Me – Why did you do that?
Ripper – Are you going to have a good time?
Me – I hope so.
Ripper – Then it was money well spent.
Me – When will you be ready?
Nothing.
Thirty minutes later, my mom called me back.
She couldn’t figure out who paid it, but was happy, nonetheless. Dad looked at me and lifted a brow, and for the first time in my life, I lied to him and shrugged my shoulders.
They didn’t know about anything that was going on.
And I wasn’t planning on telling them.
Not until he made that move.
And as the weeks flew by... then two months... he still hadn’t made the move.
Perhaps he really wasn’t my Alexander anymore, like he told me the day he left.
And that was a truth I was going to have to come to grips with... soon.
***
We went on our family vacation to the Caribbean.
I watched so many couples in love.
I watched how my dad was with my mom.
I wanted that.
Yes, I’d had that once.
But now... I was older... perhaps it was time to let him go.
I had just shut the door to my hotel room when my phone pinged with a text.
Ripper – One day, I’ll be there with you.
This time, I didn’t reply.
***
I just walked into my apartment and dropped my bags on the floor.
My phone pinged.
Ripper – You look beautiful.
Tears hit my eyes... but I didn’t reply.
***
I turned on my back when I felt him enter my bedroom.
I swear I heard him whimper.
***
I clocked out and checked my phone’s weather app.
Damn.
It was going to be nasty driving home in the rain.
I sighed.
Then I looked at Malinda, “Let me know when you make it home. Okay?”
She nodded, “Girl, you do the same.”
I grinned, and then we both raced to our cars.
I was drenched by the time I unlocked my door and scrambled inside.
I thanked the man above for letting me get in my car before the hail started.
Son of a bitch.
And then, as I turned on the main road, a car hydroplaned, and there was nowhere for me to go.