Chapter 18
Declan
My men turn up nothing.
There’s no sign of the mysterious homeless man who allegedly left the hand right on the hood of my car in sight of six trained and reliable soldiers.
It’s fucking unreal.
And only makes me believe Senesi really is back.
After the wedding, I can tell Casey is shaken. Between the hand and becoming my wife, it was a pretty big day.
She’s overwhelmed and trying to make sense of what’s happening.
I let her have some space. She curls up on the couch, still in her gorgeous wedding dress, and accepts a cup of tea when I make it. I have calls to make, but I don’t go far. I make sure I’m near her in case she needs me.
“I guess that solves the mystery,” Seamus says. The bastard sounds a little too cavalier.
“You’re not concerned about this?”
“Oh, no, I’m very worried, but I’m good at seeing the humor in things.”
“I’m happy you find a dead man’s severed hand on my car on the day of my wedding fucking funny.”
“Kind of hilarious. I mean, you didn’t invite me, so—”
“Seamus, stop fucking around.”
“Bring the temperature down, Declan. I know you’re angry. I’m angry too. Those were some of my most trusted guys, and that Senesi psycho managed to drop a hand on your damn car without any of them noticing. I have some hard conversations ahead of me.”
“I’m so sorry your personnel problems are so difficult.”
“Thanks, I appreciate that.”
I peer down the hall toward where Casey’s sipping from her mug. “This is serious. There’s a killer trying to hunt down my wife.”
“Trust me, I know how that feels.”
“Then you know I’d do anything to make sure she’s safe.”
“You already are, brother. I’ll double the guards on your place and make sure Casey never leaves the apartment without an escort.”
“I’m afraid that’s not enough.”
“We’ll think of more security measures. For now, keep your head down.”
Seamus’s calm helps center me again. He’s right about bringing down the temperature. I can’t let my anger get the best of me. Dad taught us a thousand times that keeping our cool during a difficult situation is what sets a leader apart from a follower.
“Tell Cormac and Finn what’s going on for me, will you? I don’t feel like having this conversation again.”
“I’ll talk to them. By the way, where’d the hand end up?”
“Rian’s got it.”
“Good. I’m guessing Mrs. Doyle will want to bury it with her husband.”
I sigh and rub my forehead. I hadn’t been thinking about his family. I’ve been so lost in my own problems that I keep forgetting we aren’t the only victims here.
“Make sure we take care of them. Give the widow and his sons the full Whelan member treatment.”
“Already paid for the funeral expenses. Want to add them to the death payroll?”
“Make sure his widow’s set for life. His sons will find their own way.”
We hang up. I’m left in the quiet of my front hall. I stand there a moment and gather myself together. I have to go talk to Casey and try to make her feel better. I can almost taste her anxiety in the air.
She’s the center of everything now. Not just this Senesi bullshit, but my entire world too. It feels like suddenly the reality of what we just did comes crashing down.
I’ve been waiting for this moment for twenty-five years.
Ever since the day she was born.
I drift into the kitchen and stare at her.
She’s watching one of those competitive cake baking shows on TV, but I can tell she’s barely seeing it.
Her thumb swipes at videos on her phone.
She looks absolutely stunning still in her wedding dress, sitting sprawled out on the couch like it’s no big deal.
Twenty-five years, I’ve dreamed of her. But it never felt real until she graduated from high school.
I kept her at a distance. It was the only way I could justify staying in her life after her parents were gone. But when she came of age and I realized she was an actual beautiful woman…
I never should have hired her. And I sure as hell shouldn’t have broken my most important rule that night we first slept together.
But this feels right.
It’s more than right; it’s like this was destiny.
I feel fucking crazy, thinking that way, but it’s the truth. When I think about her, when I look at her and touch her, I can’t help but feel like it was meant to be.
From the day she was born. Until the day we signed our names on the marriage certificate.
She’s been mine.
I don’t know how I can make her understand how important she is to me.
But I’ll start by making sure Senesi doesn’t get anywhere near her.
I open my mouth to ask if she wants anything to eat, but my phone starts ringing. I figure it’s Seamus and lift it up to my ear. “Yeah? You need something else?”
“Honey, it’s me.” My mother’s voice. She sounds shaken.
“Mom? What’s wrong?” Fear lances into my chest. “Don’t tell me you had a problem after the ceremony.”
“No, no, it’s completely fine. We got home fine. But your father…”
She trails off into silence.
And the emotion in her voice tells me everything.
“He’s been bad for days,” I whisper, heart beating quickly. “He’s worse now, isn’t he?”
I notice Casey lift her head and look over her shoulder.
“I’m sorry, honey. I found him in the bathroom. He got out of bed… and I guess he collapsed…” She sounds like she’s fighting tears. Siobhan Whelan is the strongest person I know. She doesn’t ever cry.
But this is her partner of forty years she’s talking about. The man she gave her life to. The man she built her empire with. She knew this day was coming, but how could she ever be prepared for it?
“How bad?”
“You should come. I’m calling everyone in. The doctor thinks it’s hours at most.”
“We’ll be there soon.” I lock eyes with Casey. Sympathy swims on her face. I feel like a hole is opening inside my chest and it’s sucking the rest of me inside it. “I’ll see you in a few.”
Mom hangs up. I lower the phone down numbly. Casey gets up, looking glorious and perfect, shining white and silver as she comes to me.
“Your dad?” she asks.
I nod once, jaw flexing against the tide of emotions filling me. “I have to go.”
“I’ll come with you.” She takes my hand between hers. She’s so small. It always startles me how tiny she is. “I’m so sorry, Declan.”
“You don’t have to. You don’t owe me that.”
“I’m your wife now and I think you’re going to need me.”
I pull her against me and kiss her. I kiss her the way I wanted to back at the courthouse. I kiss her the way I always should kiss her, like she’s the most precious thing in the world to me.
I kiss her because she’s right.
I need her.
Mom gives me a long hug outside the bedroom. “Cormac was here a few minutes ago,” she says.
“Where is he now?”
“Processing, I think. You know him, he needs his space and his silence.”
“Moody fuck.”
“Be nice to your brothers.” She smiles sadly, patting my cheek. “They’re all you have now.”
Casey lingers to the side, saying nothing. She changed into dark slacks and a black sweater before we left. I almost wish she had stayed in the wedding dress, but it wouldn’t have been appropriate.
“Is he awake?” I turn to the door.
“Yes, but he’s not himself.”
“That’s alright. I want to talk to him.”
“Just go easy.” She touches my arm and tries to smile. “A death and a wedding in one day.”
I kiss her cheek and glance at Casey. She nods and follows me into my father’s bedroom.
It smells like medicine. Dad’s lying under the blankets. He doesn’t seem very aware of what’s going on when I pull up a chair. Casey lingers behind me, standing politely back, while Mom takes the other side of the bed.
“Hey, Dad. It’s me, Declan.”
Dad’s eyes flit from mine over to Mom and back again. “Declan… are you here to ask… for more computer time?”
I smile uncertainly and take his hand. His skin is papery and dry. “I haven’t needed computer permission for a long time.”
“That’s right…” His voice is a breathy murmur. His eyes are red and watery. I’ve never seen him like this before. Like he’s barely there and receding fast. “You’ve been out late… proving yourself…”
“I’m here now.”
“Nothing to prove. You’re my son.”
I squeeze his hand. “I’m proud of it.”
“Good… all my boys…” He mumbles something and adjusts himself. “Are you still stuck… on that girl? The Brennan girl…”
I feel Casey stiffen behind me. “Dad, Casey’s here.”
“I told you… that deal is finished… the promise her parents made… you can marry who you like. I told you that.”
“Dad, Casey and I already got married.”
“The girl’s your problem. Let her go. But you liked… that she was promised to you…”
I look over my shoulder. Casey’s staring at me in shock and horror. She steps back, moving toward the door. “I should go.”
“Stay,” I tell her, but she’s still edging away. I want to explain, but Dad starts talking again, this time about some basketball game he took me and Cormac to when we were kids.
She wasn’t supposed to find out this way.
I wanted to tell her one day, after things had settled.
She’s not going to understand.
How could she?
“I have to go.” Casey turns and flees the room, hurrying down the hall.
I look at Mom in a panic. She shakes her head sadly. “Let her be,” she says, stroking Dad’s hair. “We’ll handle it later.”
She’s right. I take a breath and calm myself. Dad groans and trails off into incoherence, and all I want to do is chase Casey, but this is more important. These are the final moments of my father.
I have to be here for him.
Even if I lose my wife while he dies.