Chapter 29
Alina
“You’re telling me that you’re staying with your husband? Even though it’s unsafe?” Kira leans against the shop counter and smothers a yawn.
“That’s about right.”
“Can I be honest?”
“You always are. To my detriment usually.”
“I’m happy for you.”
My eyebrows raise in surprise. “Really?”
“Seriously. Of course I’m happy. You’ve been so hyperfocused on everything but yourself for so long now, and it’s kind of nice to see you prioritizing your own happiness.”
I lean back and put a hand over my heart. “My lord, Kira. Are you getting soft?”
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” I beam at her. “Just doesn’t seem like you, that’s all.”
She sighs, rubbing her face. “I’m serious. Everything’s been the shop, the apartment, school before that. Nothing’s ever been about finding a real relationship. Even your last boyfriend was a total loser.”
“I kind of knew it at the time too.”
“Right? You couldn’t even let yourself find a decent partner.”
“It wasn’t ever my place.” I go quiet and glance at the door. The shop’s empty again, but there should be a rush coming soon. “You know my family. I was only ever half free.”
“And you always leaned into that.”
“I wouldn’t say I leaned into it, but—”
“But you defined yourself by your family’s standards. The proper daughter doing all the proper things. Even when you had that boyfriend, you kept him hidden away, like it was so awful that you were dating someone.”
I rub my arms and stretch my neck, trying to loosen some of the tension. “When did this conversation turn into an attack on my life?” I grumble.
“Not an attack.” Kira holds up her hands apologetically. “Sorry if it came off that way. I’m trying to make the point that you sticking with this marriage and wanting to make it work is huge. It’s important. You should treat it like that.”
I know she’s right. And honestly, if I didn’t feel the way I feel about Seamus, I probably would’ve already gone to a lawyer and left him, if only to save more lives.
But I don’t want to do that. Selfishly, I want to stay with him.
I want to wake up with him in my bed. I want his hands on my body at night.
I want him making coffee shirtless in the mornings, smirking and teasing as I act all grumpy and complain about how it’s too early.
I want him to bend down and kiss my neck as he puts a bowl of yogurt and granola down in front of me and makes me promise I’ll eat it.
I want his laughter and his snarls of passion. I want all of it.
Even if that means someone else is going to get hurt.
The thought sends a shiver down my spine. I swing between wanting Seamus and needing to make sure my actions don’t cause anyone else pain. It’s an impossible choice, and I hate every second as the countdown continues.
Our conversation gets interrupted when the door opens. I figure it’s a customer, but instead, a young man in a black hoodie and a pair of sweatpants hustles over, a cellphone in one hand and a brown box under his other arm. He squints at the screen and looks up at me.
“Alina Morozov?”
“Whelan,” I correct. When the kid frowns, I quickly add, “but Morozov is my maiden name.”
“Cool, gotcha. This package is for you.” He dumps it on the counter. “Can you sign?” He turns the phone toward me.
But I don’t move. “I wasn’t expecting anything.”
“Dunno about that. Just dropping it off, ma’am.”
I hesitate before scrawling my name on the screen. He taps a few times and nods. “Thanks. Have a good one.”
But as he leaves, three men come in after him. I recognize their leader, a bald and stocky guard named Ryan. He comes right over to the counter and slides the box away from me. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Whelan, but I think I should check this out for you.”
“What’s going on?” I stare at the three guards. Kira lingers nearby, looking concerned.
“I heard you say you weren’t expecting anything. And that courier’s a local guy. This could be something from—” Ryan glances sideways at Kira and lowers his voice. “Our Russian friend.”
“Who do you know in Russia?” Kira asks loudly and sarcastically, rolling her eyes.
I ignore her. “Do you really think it’s an issue? I’m sure it’s just something for the shop.” I narrow my eyes at him as something else occurs to me. “Also, how the hell did you hear me say that?”
Ryan seems sheepish. “Ah, don’t worry about that, ma’am. I’m just saying—”
“My asshole husband bugged my shop,” I say, looking around for some obvious microphone. “I can’t believe he bugged my shop!”
“Just for your protection.” Ryan reaches for the package, but I snatch it back. I’m surprised by how heavy it is. Something large rattles around inside. It feels round, but not perfectly.
“I’m opening my own damn mail, thanks. You can go listen from outside since you like that so much.”
“The shop’s bugged?” Kira groans, and her face turns red. “Were you listening yesterday when I was on the phone with that guy?”
Ryan very pointedly does not look at her. “We’re only listening for anything that’s pertinent to keeping Mrs. Whelan safe.” He clears his throat. “But you have a very colorful way of expressing yourself.”
“Oh my God,” Kira whispers, face crimson.
I don’t pay them any attention. As I rip open the tape on the box, I notice something. A strange red stain on the cardboard. And there’s an off smell coming from inside. It’s getting worse as I pull back a flap, my heart fluttering in my chest.
Tissue paper covers the top. It’s drenched in some red liquid. “What the hell…”
I pull it aside, drop the box, and scream.
My brain doesn’t want to make sense of what I’m seeing.
Everything’s a blur. I keep staring. Kira’s screaming too. The men are shouting and Ryan’s pulling me away.
But I catch another glimpse of Alex’s severed head, his eyes crossed out with large bloody X’s, his tongue missing, his jaw broken and unhinged, congealed blood making a mess of his matted hair.
“I’m going to kill her.” Seamus paces back and forth. His phone’s on the table. I know what he’s been staring at. Photos Ryan took before they disposed of the evidence.
They can burn that head, but I’ll never get the look on poor dead Alex’s face out of my skull.
He looked terrified in his last moments. Like whatever she did to him really, really hurt.
But that wasn’t even the worst part. I found out an hour later that there was a note shoved in Alex’s mouth. It was written to me in the same handwriting as the other note: A gift for you. Trust me.
“I don’t think you’ll find her,” I say softly, hugging myself.
Seamus collapses onto the couch next to me. He pulls me against him. His warm, strong body helps ease some of the terror from earlier, but he can’t fix it.
He can’t bring Alex back.
“I will, and even if I don’t before the deadline, my family’s aware now. They’ll protect themselves.”
“But what about my family? What about Kira? What about anyone else?”
He shakes his head. “I’ll put security on anyone you want.”
“She’s doing this for me. Don’t you see that? She doesn’t want to hurt me. Killing Alex was a gift, right?”
“Some fucking present.”
“Maybe in her mind, it makes sense. He was cheating on me, right? He was a drug addict the whole time? Maybe she wanted to prove that she’s only trying to hurt people who hurt me.”
“Then why come after my family?”
“I don’t know,” I admit, leaning against his shoulder. I breathe his smell and try to settle my mind, but I’m a total mess. “But I have to do something.”
“Alina, I told you already. You’re not putting yourself in danger.”
“I’m not though. Don’t you get it yet? She’s not going to hurt me. But she might kill everyone around me, and that’s even worse. Alex was a piece of shit, but he didn’t deserve to die.”
I swallow back tears. I’ve cried enough already. I hate the way Alex treated me, but I didn’t want Seamus to kill him, and I sure as hell didn’t want Molchanie to do it either. My ex treated me like crap, but it didn’t matter to me.
Molchanie’s insane gift only makes it clear that whoever she is, she’s completely unhinged.
Trust me.
“I know you’re convinced she doesn’t mean you any harm, but you just can’t know that,” Seamus is saying, hugging me tighter.
I squirm away and get to my feet. I feel unsteady and lightheaded, but I force myself to hold it together. “I need to talk to her.”
“Alina—”
“No, no more. I have to talk to her. I’m the only person that might be able to end this nightmare.
If I can just explain, maybe she’ll listen.
” I spread my hands, imploring him to listen.
“I want to be with you. She can’t force me to leave you.
She wants me to trust her, and I’ll have to make her trust me too. ”
Seamus shakes his head slowly. “I can’t let you take that risk.”
“I’m not asking permission.”
“I’ll lock you in this damn house if that’s what it takes.”
“Think Molchanie will like that?”
His expression hardens. “Don’t use her against me.”
“I’m sorry. You’re right. But at least see this from my perspective. There’s been enough death around me already. I can’t handle more.” I walk to him slowly and touch his cheek with the tips of my fingers. “It could be your brothers next. It could be your father. Or your mother.”
He flinches and puts his hand on mine. “No, Alina. Just no.”
I stare into his eyes and I know he’ll never change his mind. The man who drifts with the wind is changing. He’s been anchored now. And that makes him twice as stubborn as a ten-ton boulder.
“I understand.” I bend down and kiss him. “I just want to do what’s right.”
“I know, baby.” He draws me down into his lap and kisses me deeper. “Just stay here. That’s all you can do for now.”
I return his kiss, thinking, not everything.