Chapter 16 – Niko #2
I pull her into me, crushing her against my chest, one hand tangling in her hair, the other splayed across her back like I can hold her together with sheer force. Her tears soak through my shirt, hot trails of grief and shame, but I don’t care. I only hold her tighter.
My lips press against her temple, desperate and unrelenting. “Shhh,” I murmur against her skin, my own throat thick. “You are not them, Noelle. Do you hear me? You are not going to be defined by their sins.”
She shakes her head, broken, words spilling between sobs. “But it’s who I am—it’s in me—”
“No,” I cut her off, fiercer this time, my mouth still pressed to her. “You’re better than this. Better than them. Stronger. Brighter. You survived the kind of life that would’ve killed anyone else. You want to save lives? That dream is yours, not theirs. It’s real because you made it real.”
Her hands fist in my shirt, clinging like she’s terrified I’ll let go.
Her body shakes with every sob, and my own eyes burn, but I force my voice steady, anchoring.
“You are not cursed. You are not doomed. You are mine. And as long as I breathe, Noelle, I’ll fight every ghost, every enemy, every fucking shadow that dares to touch you. ”
I kiss her temple again, slower this time, lingering, like I can seal the words into her skin.
And I hold her while she breaks, my heart breaking right with hers. I can’t take it anymore. The fear in her voice, the way she’s tearing herself down piece by piece—it’s like watching her burn alive. My hands grip her face, tilting her up to me, forcing her eyes to meet mine.
“Stop,” I growl, low and unyielding. “Stop giving Anton, or your past, that power. You are not your mother. You are not her mistakes. You are mine. And I swear to you, you will live, Noelle. You will live, because I’ll drag you out of every fire until my last breath if I have to.”
Her lips part, trembling, her chest heaving with sobs.
And before she can argue, before she can spiral deeper, I crush my mouth to hers.
It’s not gentle. It’s raw, desperate, a collision meant to silence the storm in her head.
She gasps against me, startled, but I don’t let go—I pour every ounce of my fury, my fear, my devotion into that kiss.
Her fists still grip my shirt, but now they clutch tighter, pulling me closer instead of pushing me away.
Her tears streak across my skin as our mouths move together, messy, frantic, but real.
When I finally pull back, my forehead rests against hers, our breaths ragged and uneven.
“You are not doomed,” I whisper, my voice shaking with the weight of it. “You are mine. And I will never let you go.”
Her face crumples against my hands, her voice cracking. “But how can you look at me? After everything—after knowing what I come from?”
Her tears slide hot against my thumbs. I shake my head, fierce.
“You’re mine. The softest thing in my life, Noelle.
And I’ll kill every ghost that dares to touch you.
I’ll burn the world if I have to. And then—” I draw a shuddering breath, my chest tight with the truth I’ve never said aloud.
“I’ll make sure you go to medical school.
I’ll make sure you become the best goddamn doctor out there, because that’s who you are.
Not trash. Not cursed. Brilliant. Meant for more. ”
She sobs, her body trembling, clutching at my wrists like she’s drowning. “I’m scared, Niko.”
I lean in, my forehead pressed hard to hers, my words a vow against her skin. “I know. But listen to me. Do you trust me?”
Her breath hitches, then a whispered, “Yes.”
“Then hold on to my words,” I murmur, firm and steady. “When the fear claws at you, when the voices tell you lies—you hold on to me. To this.”
My hands slide down to her shoulders, anchoring her, daring her to doubt me. I hold her tighter, rocking her slowly, my lips brushing the crown of her head again and again.
“Shhh,” I murmur, threading my fingers through her hair. “I’ve got you, ogonek. Always.”
Her tears dampen my shirt, her breaths jagged, breaking against my ribs. I don’t care. Let her soak me through, let her pour it all out. I’ll carry the weight for both of us if I have to.
When her sobs ease into hiccups, I slide one arm under her knees and lift her. She clings to me instinctively, fingers fisting in my shirt, like if she lets go, she’ll disappear into the dark. I press a kiss to her temple, murmuring, “Not letting you go. Not ever.”
I carry her to the bed and lay her down gently.
She starts to curl away, as if ashamed, but I don’t let her.
I climb in beside her, pulling her back into my chest, tucking the blanket around us both.
My arm circles her waist, my hand splayed across her stomach, holding her there like I’m anchoring her to earth itself.
Her breaths are still uneven. I kiss the back of her head, whispering against her hair, “You’re safe now. With me, you’re safe.”
Slowly, her body begins to melt into mine, the tension draining from her muscles. Her breathing steadies, falling into rhythm with my own. She shifts slightly, her fingers finding my wrist where it rests against her stomach, clutching me like a lifeline.
I close my eyes, pressing my nose into her hair. “Sleep, ogonek. I’ll be here when you wake. I’m not going anywhere.”
Minutes stretch. The city hums beyond the glass, the world outside still dangerous, still waiting. But in this bed, in this moment, it’s only her.
Her breathing finally evens out, soft and steady. She’s asleep—safe, warm, and still in my arms.
And I lie awake, watching the shadows crawl across the ceiling, holding her like if I loosen my grip, the universe will tear her away from me.