Arranged Scars

Chapter 1

CAROLINE

I’m going skinny dipping in my boss’s pool.

The night sky is dotted with stars. I stare at them through the glass of his heated luxury enclosure at the top of an enormous tower in the middle of Tribeca.

Lights bend and flicker in the gorgeous pool, and I’m practically squirming with excitement as I make sure his private sauna is hot and ready.

I probably shouldn’t do this.

But I’ve gotten away with it every night for the past week and at this point I’m basically addicted.

What’s better than a sauna and a swim at the top of a beautiful high-rise tower? Especially in the middle of the night when there’s nobody else around.

Besides, I earned this. I just spent the last two hours scrubbing his entire lavish apartment all by myself.

Even though it looks like nobody lives in this place, I still make sure it’s completely spotless.

I polish doorknobs and take a toothbrush to his shower grout, for frick’s sake. I’m practically owed some relaxation.

I mean, I’m not really. My boss pays extremely well. Like an obscene amount of money. All I need to do is never speak of this arrangement at all.

I was skeptical at first. I’ve been cobbling together a living for the past couple years, and when a hiring company came to me with this offer out of the blue, I thought they were scamming.

Why would some rich guy want me to clean his apartment in the middle of the night?

I’ve done some cleaning gigs, but I’m not exactly good at it.

But then the recruiter started talking numbers… and I was more than a little interested.

Which is how I find myself stripping down in a stranger’s pool area.

I squint through the glass and I’m pretty sure that if there’s someone living at the top of the next tower over, and if they owned a sufficiently powerful telescope or a really good pair of binoculars, they’d be able to see the fine downy blonde hair on my tan arms and my auburn-colored pubes.

But hey, go for it, take a look. Nobody else is. Enjoy the view. Someone might as well.

I sigh and sink down into the hot sauna.

This place feels so good. I really resisted using these facilities at first, but when I realized my boss is absolutely never home when I come to clean, my resolve slipped.

I mean, he won’t notice, right? Not if I bring my own towel and clean up after myself. Which is easy, since that’s my job.

Sweat beads on my brow. I tie my hair back and close my eyes, stretching my legs. This is my heaven, right here. When I die, I hope they have saunas in the afterlife. I’ll be kind of pissed if they don’t. Who knew the Scandinavians were right all along?

It’s hard not to let my mind wander. I have the tendency to focus on the creepy side of life.

Like for example: Did you know that every year approximately 600,000 people are reported missing?

Most of those cases are resolved, but what about the cases that aren’t?

I’m fascinated by that gap. Or how in New York, if you’re murdered, there’s a 50:50 chance your killer will get caught at best?

And even less likely if you’re black or brown?

Pretty good odds for all the serial killers out there.

Even creepier: every year, over 4,000 bodies are recovered but never identified. Who are those people?

It can be a little unsettling, living inside my head.

Which is why I should probably be more careful about stripping naked in a total stranger’s apartment.

I don’t even know the guy. I met him exactly once. I call him Finn, no surname. Every night there’s an envelope containing cash on the nightstand beside his bed. There’s nothing personal in his place, or at least nothing that I’ve seen. I don’t snoop. I have some ethics, after all.

But I didn’t get a warm-and-fuzzy feeling from the guy. Not even a little bit. He smiled, even seemed charming, but there was nothing kind behind his smile. He’s handsome, incredibly good-looking to be honest, almost to the point that I couldn’t look him in the eye without my heart racing.

I still wouldn’t want to be alone in a room with him. Not for very long, anyway.

I grew up with men like him. Men who look normal on the outside, maybe even beautiful, but are rotten deep down. I’ve learned to recognize them. It’s in the way they treat the world around them. Like they’re surrounded by toys and they don’t care what they break.

Finn seriously scares me. But because I’m deeply flawed and broken, I can’t stop thinking about him.

Why would a guy like that pay me so much money to clean his boring apartment? The place is gorgeous, don’t get me wrong, but there’s zero character. What’s the point of all this?

I try not to obsess. But I’m not good at letting things go.

Eventually, I have to get out of the sauna. I hit my maximum sweating threshold. When I’m at the point that I feel like I might start hallucinating any second, I shove the door open and run out toward the pool.

This is my favorite moment of the night.

Maybe my favorite moment ever. When I’m running from sauna to pool, I’m still sweaty and hot, everything’s comfortable, but I know the big splash is coming, the freezing cold wrapping around me, the temperature shock like a slap to the face, and I can’t wait.

It’s the anticipation of cooling off and refreshing.

I reach the edge and jump, heedless, joyous, laughing as I fly through the air—

And only notice the figure standing in the doorway when I come up for air.

I go very still. I’m bobbing in the middle of the pool, treading water. My towel is still in the sauna. My clothes are on a bench against the back wall.

I’m completely exposed.

Four thousand unidentified bodies every year…

He steps forward into the enclosed rooftop pool space.

Light from the stars illuminates his face.

My mouth opens in surprise as Finn stares at me.

He’s in a black suit, sleek and form-fitting, showing off his athletic frame.

There’s stubble on his cheeks and chin. His eyes are sparkling and green, almost too deep to be real.

His hair’s brushed back casually like he did it with his fingers and somehow made it perfect.

I wonder how warm his lips would be against my neck.

I wonder how much pressure it would take for his big hands to squeeze my throat until it closes. Not that much really.

Our eyes lock. I’m too stunned and terrified to speak. He’s smiling ever so slightly.

But there’s still no humor or joy behind those eyes.

Only a cold calculation.

“I’m so sorry!” I finally blurt out. “I’m so, so sorry. I know I shouldn’t be in here, but you’re never home and I was just taking a quick swim after my shift, and I’m so sorry, this is so insanely inappropriate, oh my god, I’m so embarrassed.”

He tilts his head and instead of replying, he turns and steps over to the bench where I keep my little pile of clothes.

I think he’s about to tell me to get dressed and inform me that I’m fired, which will really, really stink, because this job is keeping me afloat right now.

But instead, he sits down beside my stuff and crosses his legs, watching me again.

“Don’t apologize,” he says, hands folded on his knee. “And don’t stop on my account.”

What the hell? I keep treading water, not sure what to do. I’m very, very naked, my nipples are stiff and my skin’s covered in goosebumps, and he’s just looking at me like a beautiful predator. There’s a strange, hungry gleam in his expression now.

“I should get dressed and go.” I start swimming to the ladder but stop before I pull myself out. “Do you mind looking away?”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because—” I stammer slightly, cheeks turning red. “I’m naked in here. I know this is inappropriate, but still.”

“I don’t mind.”

“I definitely do.”

“Why? You’re an attractive woman.”

I almost laugh. I can’t remember anyone ever calling me attractive. Not for a long time, anyway. But that’s what happens when you run away from home and live like a hermit for a couple years.

“Please, can you just toss me a towel at least?”

He grunts almost like he’s considering something.

Then he pushes himself to his feet. “If that’s what you want.

” He walks over to the sauna and a wave of relief hits me.

I was worried he was going to do something terrible.

But why would a guy like that want to risk himself on a girl like me?

A nobody with nothing to give? Unless he thinks his money can protect him, no matter what I do…

He’s probably right. Most people have a 50:50 shot at getting away with it.

A guy like him probably has more like 70:30 or better.

I wait for what feels like a very long time. I’m not sure what he’s doing until the sauna door opens again. Finn comes out, tosses his pile of clothing to the floor, and places my towel down on the tile beside the pool.

He’s naked. Completely, gloriously, incredibly naked. And he looks like a god decided to descend from wherever gods live. I swear, the moonlight makes his abs glow. It’s absurd. It’s obscene. I can’t stop staring, my mouth hanging open, my pulse racing in my chest.

He’s insanely hot. By far the best-looking man I’ve ever seen in real life. Tall, broad, obviously takes care of himself. A face like a model without looking too soft.

There’s a towel wrapped around his midsection, but it’s not doing much to cover his bulging dick.

Holy shit. He’s half hard just looking at me.

Weirdly, that drives my beating heart into a frenzy.

“If you want to go, you can go,” he says, gesturing at the towel with one hand.

If he lets go with that other, I’m pretty sure he’s going to treat me to a show.

A very big show. “Or you can come sit with me in the sauna. I won’t touch you if you don’t want me to.

Feel free to cover yourself.” He turns away and takes off his towel, revealing a firm, tanned ass.

Maybe the best ass I’ve ever seen. “But you don’t have to. ”

He disappears back into the sauna, leaving me in the pool to question all my life decisions.

How did I end up like this? Floating in a hot stranger’s fancy pool while he practically invites me to fuck him in the sauna? I mean, he didn’t say that, but come on. I’m not an idiot. He’s not going to touch me? Obviously, he will, because I really want him to.

That’s the problem. I look at the towel and over to my pile of clothes. I could get out, run to my stuff, and disappear back inside. I could dress in the bathroom beside the front door and be gone in two minutes. He might not even realize I left until I’m home.

Then I’d never come back, obviously. That’d suck.

I’m living alone and trying to make ends meet with no skills and barely a high school education.

It was a good high school, but still. Not a lot of options for me out there, and I swear my family’s actively making my life even harder than it needs to be.

Or I could take him up on his not-so-subtle offer.

I’m not sure what would happen after that.

Sex, probably? I haven’t had sex in… years.

Not since my high school boyfriend, and he basically cried afterward, so that wasn’t the best. He said he was afraid of my father finding out, which is fair.

Papa would’ve killed him. I mean that literally.

But this is different. Finn’s a grown man. He’s clearly successful. He probably knows what he’s doing. He could show me some things even. He’s older than me, probably ten years at least, which is good. He’s experienced.

I know he’s dangerous, but I’m a sucker for cruel men.

I might even get to keep my job.

Am I seriously considering banging my boss just to keep getting a paycheck?

Oh, god, this is crazy. I should just leave. Any sane girl would just leave, right?

But he’s got such a nice ass and a really good apartment.

Besides, we got the hard part out of the way already. He saw me naked. There’s nothing to hide and nothing to reveal.

I climb out of the water and drip onto the tile. The towel’s right there. I could grab it and go.

I pick it up and hold it against my chest.

Just walk away…

Instead, I pull open the sauna door and step inside.