Chapter 5 Caroline
CAROLINE
Istep into the foyer and don’t move for a solid thirty seconds.
The lights automatically respond to my presence and turn on, but they also dim and go dark if I’m not moving or making any noise.
I had to get used to that early on. When the dimness comes, I take a step forward, feeling sick and angry and a dozen other confused and mixed emotions.
I don’t want Finn to be here. But I also hope I get the chance to chew him to pieces.
Still, I lug my bucket inside and go back for the vacuum.
I don’t even know why I do it. Am I really going to keep pretending like I still work for him?
We’re supposed to get married. His money’s my money now.
Although probably not: he seems smart enough to demand a prenup, and my father’s big enough of a bastard to grant it without question.
I keep waiting, but he doesn’t show. After a couple minutes, I start cleaning purely to give myself something to do.
The apartment’s gorgeous. I’ll give him that.
It’s definitely impersonal and looks like it was decorated by some random interior designer, but everything is new and clearly very expensive.
Also, it’s never used. Cleaning is a complete breeze.
It’s more just wiping up the minimal amount of dust that fell since the last time I was here.
The place feels like a hospital wing. Actually, no, scratch that—hospitals have more life than this apartment does.
At least the views are beautiful. The windows overlook the city. Lights glitter down below. I feel like I’m floating on top of the world, perched high above everyone, up where nobody can ever hurt me. Far out of the reach of my father and my brothers.
Too bad that’s a total freaking fiction.
Because somehow, they even reached their grubby fingers into this place.
I make it out to the pool and finally give up. I dump my cleaning stuff in a corner, kick off my shoes, roll up my jeans, and sit with my feet in the water. It’s warm like always, like Finn makes sure it’s heated just for me. God knows nobody else is swimming in here.
Honestly, the more I think about it, the more I’m pretty sure I’m the only person who ever comes in here.
I’ve never seen a mess. No clothes, no dishes, no dirty glasses, nothing. No sign of life at all. Now I can’t stop myself from wondering if Finn set this entire place up just to trap me.
What I don’t get is why he’d do it.
If he wanted to meet, there are about a million easier and less humiliating ways to do it.
He let me come in here, night after night, to scrub his floors and his toilets, probably laughing the whole time.
The more I think about it, the angrier I feel.
There’s no way in hell he didn’t know who I was when he hired me.
This whole situation reeks of some insane trap.
I keep expecting him to show. He still doesn’t. I glare around me, getting pissed. Eventually, I lie on my back and stare up at the stars through the glass dome. My feet idly kick through the water. My mind wanders and this place is too peaceful for me to stay angry for long.
Which is when I notice him standing in the door, just watching me quietly.
I flinch and sit up quickly. My heart’s racing into my throat. He keeps on watching, looking amused. “Why do you keep doing that?”
“Doing what?”
“Staring at me. It’s so creepy.”
“I didn’t want to startle you.”
“Great, you did an amazing job.” I draw in a deep breath to steady myself. “Only nearly gave me a heart attack instead.”
He steps into the pool area. “No sauna today?”
I struggle to calm myself. I keep my back straight and refuse to show fear, but there’s plenty of it rattling inside my stomach. “I decided we should have this conversation with our clothes on.”
His smirk is so sharp it could easily cut my throat. “I take it you spoke with your father.”
“You knew the whole time, didn’t you?”
I expect him to lie. I assume he’ll have a dozen different reasons and excuses. Instead, he only nods once. “Yes, I did.”
A hysterical laugh bubbles from my throat. “You knew and you still—” I can’t even say the word. The memory of the other night spills down my spine. His hands on my body. His cock in my mouth, in my pussy. Breaking into a million pieces and floating away into bliss.
“Still fucked you?”
My jaw tenses. “Yes. You still fucked me.”
“I didn’t think it would make much of a difference.” He doesn’t come closer, which is a small blessing. I might scream if he did.
“What the hell is this?” I gesture around me. “Why did you hire me to clean your goddamn apartment?”
“I wanted to get to know you.”
“That’s insane. You know conversations were invented, right?”
“I find those overrated.”
“I bet you do. You’re the type of LinkedIn psychopath who believes in optimizing his daily routine, right?”
“Not exactly.”
I push myself to my feet. Water runs off my calves. I face him, arms crossed defensively. “I’m going to tell my father no.”
His head tilts curiously. “Will that work?”
“Probably not,” I confess, stuttering a bit. “But I’m going to try anyway.”
“What happens when we still get married?”
“I don’t know. I don’t want this. You lied to me… you manipulated me… you hired me for some bizarre, sick reason. Now you think we can have a marriage?”
“I never said that.” He looks to the side. He’s standing beside the deep end ladder. His fingers trace the metal slowly. “Do you think I want to marry you, Caroline?”
“Honestly, I have no idea what you want. I can’t begin to imagine it. We’re a different species.”
“You’re right about that.” His smile is gone now. The way he looks at me is terrifying. There’s a hate in him, a bleak coldness. I noticed it the first time we met and now it’s staring me straight in the face. I feel like I’m standing at the edge of a chasm.
“What do you want from me, Finn?”
“I want to hurt you.” He says it so simply, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
I have to swallow against a scream. “That’s really fucking weird.”
“I want to hurt you, Caroline. I want to hurt you, and your brothers, and your father. I despise you more than you can ever understand.”
Heat flushes into my cheeks. I feel naked and vulnerable. “Is that why you fucked me?” I snap at him.
He nods once. “Exactly why.”
“God, you’re fucking sick.” I skirt around him, keeping my distance. “I’m not doing this.”
“Yes, you are, and I am too.”
“Fuck off.”
“I don’t want this either. You think I want to marry you? You think I want anything to do with your filthy family?”
I whirl on him. “What do you know about my family? You’re nothing. You’re nobody. Just leave me alone. I’m done here.”
“Good. Storm out. Make a scene. How will that go over with your father?”
I grab my stuff, fighting tears. I hate myself for it too. Crying only ever pisses my family off and makes the hurt that much worse. If I cry, they won’t stop until I do. I shove the tears down like I’ve learned to over the years and stare at Finn.
“Stop talking like you know me.”
“I might not know you well, but I know your family. What’s your father going to do when you tell him you refuse to marry me?”
I shove the door open and storm into the apartment.
Finn follows at a distance, a grin locked on his face.
My heart’s pounding and I feel sick, because he’s right, and I don’t know how he knows.
If I tell my father I refuse to do this, he’s going to hurt me.
He hasn’t hurt me in a while, but he’ll do it again if he has to.
I learned that too. There’s no disobeying the leader of the Flanagan family, not if I’m smart.
I march downstairs. Finn follows, pausing in the kitchen. I spin on him, humiliated and angry. I feel betrayed and torn to pieces. “I don’t care what my dad’s going to do to me. Whatever it is, it can’t be worse than being your wife for the rest of my life.”
“Are you sure about that?” He’s watching me carefully like he’s trying to gauge my reaction. “Why did you move away from home, Caroline?”
“Because I wanted to. Screw this, I’m not spending another second here.”
“Why did you run away from them?” My heart’s going to explode. I walk fast to the front door. I can’t stay here a second longer. “Why clean apartments when you could be living in a mansion?”
I stop in the foyer. “I’m through with this.”
“Come to work tomorrow.”
I spit out a laugh. “Why the hell would I do that?”
“Because if you do, one day, I swear, this whole apartment will be yours.”
My laugh dies on my lips. He doesn’t look like he’s joking, but that makes no sense. “It’ll be ours, you mean. Since you still think we’re getting married.”
He shakes his head slowly. “No. Yours. Alone. Keep showing up to work until the wedding, and one day, I swear it on my life, you’ll have all this.”
The idea is tempting. I hate myself for even considering it.
I’m not sure what he’s offering exactly, but I can imagine some kind of arrangement where we live separately after a set period.
That could work too: my father doesn’t care if we share a bed, so long as we stay married and keep the alliance alive.
“How can I trust you? After what you did? You just got done telling me that you hate me and want to hurt me.”
“I do hate you. I do want to hurt you. But I’m not stupid. We need each other now, Caroline. We’re trapped in this together. I have about as much say in this marriage as you do. We might as well learn to live with it.”
“You’re an absolute freak.”
“You have no idea how right you are.”
I shake my head and pull open the door. “I’ll come back tomorrow night if you swear you won’t be here.”
“I can’t make that promise.”
I laugh bitterly. “Of course you can’t. That’s the whole point, right? To keep torturing me?”
“No, it’s not.” His voice softens. For a second, he seems almost human. But I know better. He’s just a parrot wearing human skin and making people noises. “I’ll do my best to stay away. Just keep coming back. I don’t care if all you do is sauna and swim.”
“Why? I seriously don’t get it.”
“Because—” He seems to struggle with himself. He looks away. “I want a place where we can talk honestly with each other.”
I glare at him. I’m sick of the cryptic game. All I know is this guy knew we were getting married, but he didn’t tell me about it. Instead, he hired me to clean his apartment and then he fucked me without saying a damn thing.
“I’ll think about it.”
I slam the door shut behind me. Finn doesn’t follow, which is a relief. I lug my stuff back into the elevator and ride it down, not caring if my legs are still slightly damp and I forgot my stupid shoes in the pool dome.
Going back here would be a huge mistake. There’s no doubt in my mind Finn’s playing with me again.
But the prospect of having that gorgeous apartment all to myself one day…
I could swim whenever. Sauna whenever. I’d have that gourmet kitchen, that amazing living room with its incredible views.
I’d have a place of my own.
No family, no brothers, no father, nobody to tell me what to do.
I’m marrying Finn. Even if I hate him now too, that’s not going to change. He knows it and I know it. Now, this is about setting myself up and making the best of a bad situation.
I just wish that didn’t involve giving Finn something he wants.