Chapter 21 Caroline #2
I look around desperately, but there’s nothing, I don’t know where Finn is, and Redmond might be near a generator already with my mother in tow, and what the hell is my mother doing here anyway, and oh, god, I can’t let her die, even if she was complicit in what happens, she’s still an innocent victim herself, and oh, god—
Suddenly, light floods the construction site.
I throw my arms over my face, gasping at the sudden brightness.
They caught me. Redmond somehow knew this was a trap. He lured me in here and now he’s got a spotlight on me and soon—
But nothing happens. I lower my arms slowly and blink around.
Somewhere, one of the generators is rumbling. The work site is alive, but there’s nobody nearby.
Think, Caroline. Don’t be stupid. Why would the lights be on? Why would my mother be here?
Because Redmond’s showing off.
He always was a momma’s boy. That asshole’s been sucking up to her since he was little, probably because he never could get any positive reinforcement from our father.
I bet he’s showing Mom the worksite and she’s oohing and aaahing over every little thing like he’s the one down here turning the screws.
Okay, this changes things. The lights are on. I’m not responding on the walkie. Finn has to know the plan’s been ruined. He’s not stupid enough to blow them up now, right? He’s got to see my mother and know it’s time to back off.
But I remember Shane, the wine bottle, and Finn’s deep, obsessive hate…
I can’t take any chances.
The construction site seems to warp and shift around me. Every shadow is a ghost ready to strangle me. I’m on edge, spooked and terrified. If I get caught, everything is ruined. I creep along, looking everywhere for Finn, but I don’t see him. I have to find him before he does something stupid.
Like kill my mother.
I shouldn’t even care. She can’t even admit that my father and my brothers have been abusing me for years. Probably because denial is the only way she can deal with it.
But I remember when I was little. I remember her taking care of me, putting ice on my bruises, cleaning the cuts, singing to me at night when I couldn’t sleep. I’d be even worse now if it weren’t for her keeping me going.
She’s as terrified of them as I am. Maybe even worse. She’s still trapped in their hell, while I somehow got away.
I’m moving from pallet to pallet, trying to stay low, when I hear voices echoing from the nearby forest of beams. I pause, getting down and out of sight, trying to find a hint of Finn. Instead, great big person-shaped shadows get thrown across a nearby trailer.
Redmond and my mother are arm-in-arm about ten feet away. Their voices click into focus once I’m actively listening.
“…I’ve been keeping the project on track all this time. Father’s been busy, but I’ve stayed on top of it.”
“Very good job, Redmond.”
“It’s nothing, really. The others couldn’t handle it though. Shane never had the patience. Malachy’s too busy with his own projects and Dermot’s got his head stuck in computers. I’m all that’s left to keep the family moving forward.”
“We’re all very proud of you, of course.”
“Thank you, Mother. I only wish we had another brother. Instead, there’s that worthless little shit Caroline. At least she’s married off now. Which is about all she’s ever been good for.”
Mom tuts at him, and I watch her shadow lightly pat his arm. “Don’t be so hard on your sister, dear.”
“Why not? She’s always been stupid, lazy, and selfish.”
Anger flutters in my chest. I’m breathing hard. My fingers dig into the ground—and I find a hammer lost in the dirt. I grab it tightly, hand gripping so hard it hurts my palm. This bastard, this rotten piece of shit. Even when I’m not around, he still hates me.
“You don’t mean that, Redmond. Your sister is a good person. She tries her best.”
“Why are you defending her?” Redmond’s voice goes cold.
Suddenly, my heart rate spikes. Fear grips my throat.
I almost cry out. I have to cover my mouth with one hand.
I know that tone. I know what usually happens when he starts talking that way.
I want to get up and scream, run, Mom, run, he’s coming! But I’m too much of a coward.
“Sweetie, it’s nothing, only she’s my daughter too. You know I love you all.”
“Even that pathetic bitch? You love her more than me, don’t you?”
“Redmond, darling, that isn’t true and you know it. Now come, tell me more about this project. How quickly did they lay the foundation?”
But he doesn’t take her bait. When she tries to move on, he grabs her arm tightly and doesn’t let it go.
I watch it happen in the shadows. I watch shadow-Red raise his hand, his fist as big as a car, and slam it into shadow-Mom’s face.
She cries out, jerking back, and he hits her again, and again, and again.
“You love her more than me,” Redmond snarls, spitting like a rabid dog. “You love that worthless—fucking—bitch—and you always—fucking—did!”
Mom’s sobbing, gasping and groaning. She drops to her knees. “Redmond, please, stop it… you’re going to kill me…”
“You bitch, you fucking—stupid—bitch!”
“Redmond,” she sobs as his boot thuds into her side.
This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. Oh god, oh god, oh god—
I hold the hammer tight in both hands. I stare at the head and again at the shadows. Mom’s whimpers are daggers in my guts. Redmond’s vicious slurs are like gas in a furnace.
She tried to defend me. That’s all, she tried to defend me, and this is what happens to her, all because of that monster. That sick fucking monster.
I let out a terrified, rage-fueled cry, and I get to my feet.
Red’s back is to me. Mom’s on the ground, curled up in a ball, trying to protect herself. He kicks her again, spittle flying from his lips as he screams at her.
I take a step. Take another. And then I’m running, the hammer cocked back, as a wild scream from years and years of anger and hate rips itself from my throat.
Redmond has barely enough time to pause and look over his shoulder—
Before the hammer smashes him in the face.
His skull is shockingly solid. It’s like hitting a bowling ball.
He grunts, makes a strange, muttered groan.
Blood spurts from his nose. I hit him again, and again, slamming the hammer into his skull.
More blood leaks from his eyes, from a caved-in wound on his forehead.
I beat him more, howling, as Redmond topples backwards. I try to jump on him—
When hands grab me from behind.
“Easy, baby, easy.”
I thrash, kicking and screaming. “I’m going to kill him! Let me kill him! Fuck him, fuck you, Redmond, fuck you, I hate you, I hate you!”
“Caroline!” Finn’s voice in my ear. It’s just about the only thing that could snap me out of this frenzy. His strong arms grip me tightly and he pulls the hammer from my fist. “It’s okay, you’re okay. I got you. It’s okay.”
I break then. I sob hard, gasping and choking like a little baby, spit and snot rolling down my face.
It’s an ugly cry, a nasty one, and I don’t care.
Redmond’s on the ground, twitching slightly, trying to drag himself away.
He’s making these inhuman little gruntings and bleats like he’s trying to use words but can’t form them.
He leaves a smear of blood on the ground.
“I can fix this,” Finn says, sitting me down on some spare wood. “You get your mom out of here. If she asks what happened, you just say we found her after the explosion.”
“What explosion?”
“Just trust me. Can you do that? We can still salvage this, but we have to move fast. I’m positive someone must’ve heard you yelling. The cops might be on the way.”
“Oh, shit,” I whisper as cold reality hits me. I wipe my face on my sleeve. “I ruined it.”
“Not yet. Get your mother back to her car. Do it fast, baby. Can you do that for me?”
“I can do it.” I touch his face. My fingers leave a bloody streak on his nose. I lean forward and kiss him desperately. “I’m so sorry. I messed up.”
He smiles gently and shakes his head. “No, you didn’t. I’m proud of you. Now, get your mother and go.”
He releases me. I sit for a beat, gathering my strength, as he casually strides over to Redmond.
Finn grabs my brother by the ankle and pulls him, dragging him along.
He’s saying something and he’s got the most beautiful smile on his face, like he’s having the best time in the world.
Redmond’s clawing at the dirt, but he’s got no strength.
Before I look away, I realize one of Red’s eyeballs is hanging from a thick knot of veins and his entire nose is caved in.
I did that to him.
Mom’s only half conscious. She’s crying quietly. Her shoulders shake and she only slightly responds when I lift her. Fortunately, she’s aware enough to stumble along with me. I take her weight, or as much as I can, and we stagger back toward where she parked the car.
“You need a hospital,” I tell her quietly like I’m explaining something to a child.
“You got injured in the explosion. Redmond didn’t make it.
He was giving you a tour of the grounds, but he’s not good with the tools or the generator, and there was some kind of accident.
It was a horrible explosion and you’re lucky to have survived. ”
Mom looks at me, her right eye swollen nearly shut. “Explosion? What explosion?”
The fireball roars into the sky and the ground trembles with the force of the blast. I stumble and Mom braces herself against her car, gasping for air.
The sky brightens like it’s noon for a few seconds before fading away.
Flames roll toward the clouds and pieces of metal slam to the ground like falling hailstones.
I smile at the carnage and pat Mom’s arm lightly. She’s staring, open-mouthed, but doesn’t look upset. It’s more like she’s seeing a host of angels floating down through the sky. Her salvation come at last.
“That explosion.”