7. Soulful Hurtz #2
“You can’t help me Teddy, I gotta do it myself.” I nodded as I continued to stare at her. If she didn’t smell so strong, I would pull her in for a tight hug and never let her go.
“Alright Ma, but you got to go. Luv gives me a very hard time. When you pop up and leave without saying shit, Luv’s anger is a lot to deal with.” My mom smiled and rolled her eyes.
“All she need is her ass whooped, Teddy. You, always soft on them heifers.”
“She needs her mom, then a lot of the anger would go away.” I reasoned.
“Y’all gone have me, I think ima check into that rehab your aunt keeps telling me about. I’m really serious Teddy, I’m going to make up for everything-”
“Mommy?” Luv rubbed her puffy eyes, ridding herself of eye boogers, and blinked a couple of times. Once she really focused and noticed that it was mom, she ran and jumped right into her arms.
“Damn, mommy you stink.” She threw her arms around our mom’s neck and kissed her all over the face.
“Luv, watch your mouth.” I scolded but she ignored me like I wasn’t in the same room.
She did the normal inspection and checked my mom out from head to toe.
She talked to her about school and skipped subjects fast. Luv was breathing hard because she tried to talk fast to get it all out.
I knew she did this because she didn’t know when she would see our mom again.
Luv led our mom to the bathroom to help her shower and pick clothes out for her. I took time out to go check on Passion. I knew if Luv was woke, that Passion had to be up and alert. When I walked in the room Passion was sitting up on the bed with tears in her eyes.
“What’s wrong P?” I hate seeing my sisters cry, it fucked with me in the worse way.
“I don’t want her to see me.” She sniffled.
“Why not?” I sat next to her on the edge of the bed and picked her chin up with my index finger.
Passion was beautiful with a nice kinky Afro.
Most days I didn’t know what to do to her hair, so I wet it and added leave-in conditioner.
To top her fro off I would put different color ribbons and bows in it.
“She hates me, and she always leaves because of me.” More crocodile tears came down her pretty round chocolate face. I pulled her close and rocked her in my arms.
“That shit ain’t true, P. Momma sick, she leaves to make sure she gets better.”
“Does she love me?” Her doe-shaped eyes were innocent the hurt behind them is what broke a nigga.
“Of course, she love you, she just don’t know how to show it.
She loves all of us and soon she’s gone get better.
” I kissed her forehead and tried my best to reassure her.
Although my mom should feel and see the affect, she had on all of us.
I sat holding Passion, feeling like it was all my fault.
After getting her calm and picking her clothes out for the day I went back to the living room and saw Luv and my mom sitting on the couch.
I stood listening to their conversation.
“You got to get off those drugs mommy. Teddy doesn’t cook like you and we be missing you.
” I wanted to laugh because I really couldn’t cook for shit, but the girls ate whatever I provided because they didn’t like being hungry.
Luv was old enough to know what moms was on.
Passion still went along with me telling her our mom was sick and I thought Luv still thought that too until now.
She boldly expressed herself and I could tell from my mom’s posture that she felt bad as hell.
“You look good now mommy. Those drugs make you look old, now you look like a hot girl.” She snapped her fingers and smiled.
She put too much gel in our mom hair and had it in a loose ponytail.
My mom had on black leggings, and one of my big ass pro club shirts.
I could smell the dove and baby magic lotion in the room.
“I look like a hot girl, Luv?” My mom smiled.
“Hell yea.” Luv cooed with her badass. For once it felt like we were that one happy family that I envied from my peers at school.
Shaking off the thought, I made a quick breakfast and got a little happier when Passion emerged from our bedroom to sit next to our mom and talk.
Her voice was always low and very timid but to see my mom interacting with the girls.
She wasn’t high but I was sure within the next hour she would have that strong urge to get high.
I just prayed this time around she fought it and brought her ass back home.
I made it to school five minutes late and couldn’t concentrate through any of my classes.
I kept thinking about how good it felt to get the girls to school, watching them skip and just be in their happy element.
Now I was happy and worried as I thought back to Queen and I last conversation.
Since my mom got me for my last stash and I had to struggle with coming up with the money for re up.
I moved my stash somewhere else in the house but that meant nothing to a crack head.
My mom would turn the house upside down to get high if she didn’t have the money for it.
I told her if she left while we were gone to lock up and if she was to return not to come back high as hell.
I didn’t like the girls seeing her like that.
“You should ask that nigga, David to the formal dance.” I walked by my crush and her ratchet ass homegirls.
When we made eye contact, I quickly focused back down on my busted ass Air Force One’s.
They were used from Goodwill and semi fresh when I got them months back.
Now they looked like I personally threw them in a pile of mud.
“Ugh, nigga face look like a crunch bar.” One of the hoes stated making the rest of the crew giggle.
When I looked up, Jocelyn face was unreadable.
This time I didn’t shift my gaze, I continued to stare making her shift and look off.
She pulled her glasses up the bridge of her nose and gripped her folder and books.
Jocelyn was fine as fuck; she was tall and slim thick.
Freckles adorned her caramel face; she lived in the same projects as me.
I wondered how a nerd chick like her could become super popular but her brother Havoc was well known and I was well acquainted with the nigga because he worked as Queen’s ruthless enforcers.
Niggas and bitches didn’t want no smoke with Jocelyn because they knew her brother was a well-known sniper.
“Nigga boo.” I smirked and kept walking towards my locker to grab my shit and leave.
Happy the day was over with, I jogged down the school steps and saw Murk’um double parked with his music blasting and hazards blinking.
I usually would wait for Jocelyn to finish chatting with her trout-mouth-ass homegirls.
She told me she didn’t care if people knew that I would sometime walk her home.
I cared though; Jocelyn was just too fuckin’ pretty to be seen with a dusty ugly nigga like me.
Plus, today I had to put in major work and see what was up with Queen.
Soon as I hopped in Murk’um clean whip, he smiled and handed me the blunt he was smoking. I got right to the point soon as he turned his music down.
“You heard from Queen?” It had only been two days but that was too long.
It felt like niggas was giving me the run around when I asked questions.
I looked towards the front of the school and locked eyes with Jocelyn, she now stood by herself.
Her long thick legs in the jean checkered skirt looked good as fuck on her.
The Vans platform shoes had her looking even taller.
“When you gon’ tell that broad you feeling her kid?” Murk’um chuckled and pulled away from the school. I high key wanted to tell this nigga that I wanted to get up with him later so I could walk with Jocelyn. I wanted to make sure she made it back to the Jets safe.
“She ain’t my speed.” I left it at that, then got back on point. “Queen? What’s up with her?”
“Shit, why you so worried? You got a crush on her too?” He pestered; I was never the joke around with other niggas type of nigga.
I damn sure wasn’t buddy buddy with Murk’um either.
He supplied me with dope, and I made sure it moved how it was ‘posed to. I wasn’t really tryna befriend none of these niggas that I dealt business with.
I remained quiet until he broke the silence.
“She straight, just got to get some shit straight. She should be back in town in a couple days. The nigga that took her that night just wanted to talk. You know how the bitch gets when she mad. She called us the same night telling us she was safe and that everything needs to run the same as if she was still here. She gotta go outta town on some business shit with her Abuela so ain’t no telling when she will be back.
The meeting for next week won’t be held but Clapback will collect all the dough.
” I just nodded at that; I didn’t really appreciate him calling Queen a bitch, but I let him make it.
Yea, Murk’um was a deadly nigga, only when he had a gun on his hip and more than one nigga with him.