12. Queen
Chapter Twelve
QUEEN
I stood in the mirror, staring at the raw me.
When I looked at my reflection, I saw a fair mixture of my mom and dad which often pained me.
Every time I looked myself in the mirror, I tried to search for something that I felt I was missing.
Off top, I was beautiful as hell. I couldn’t deny myself of that, I felt empty.
A lot of shit in my life was unsettled and I desperately wanted to get to a point where I felt a hundred percent happy.
I had my days where I felt satisfied. Happiness is what I felt when I had my parents here with me.
It felt unreal and after all these years of being forced to live without them, I figured it would become easier, but it didn’t.
It felt like each year that passed by the reality of not being able to look my mother and father directly in the eyes crushed me harder each time.
It was nearing two in the morning, my pussy pulsated with satisfaction.
The twins took turns feasting on me until I had no choice but to tap out.
We got so high and drunk, it felt so good to zone out and be out of touch with my actual reality.
I ran my hands through my hair and flinched when my curly strands got caught into an object on my finger.
Carefully untangling my hair, I held my hand out for close observation and jumped back when I stared at a ring that looked like it was worth more than my entire savings.
Goosebumps covered my body, my mouth went dry. I went from room to room checking to see if anyone was here with my gun secured in my hand. Bottles and take out food from a couple hours ago littered the living room as evidence of me having a really good time.
It wasn’t like Aiden and Caiden to just leave me in the room alone. Our routine would be to check out and get breakfast in the morning.
Picking up my cellphone, I took a seat on the couch and went right to the unknown text message. The time was now four o clock in the morning. The text made me cringe hard.
Fiancé, I will see you in a couple of hours to meet with my attorney to go over a few things because you seem confused.
Your Excellency.
I burst out laughing as I responded with a laughing emoji.
I shot Bundy a text message and then locked my phone.
Forgetting the ring was even on my finger, I showered and went to my duffel bag to throw on my joggers with a graphic shirt.
All I wanted to do today was hide in the comforts of my home and think.
I needed time to fucking think. I pulled all my wild curly hair into a high ponytail then rolled me up a blunt.
A knock at the door sounded off, I knew it was Bundy, so I grabbed my belongings then opened the door to give my bag to him.
We said nothing to one another as we walked towards the back exit of the hotel.
When we got in his car, I let the music do the talking.
I smoked on my blunt and looked out the window.
Never in my life have I ever encountered a man like Inferno.
He made me feel like I had no fucking privacy.
I wondered if he slid this ring on while I was sprawled out naked and snoring.
The twins loved my big breast. So, I could only imagine them laying on each one sleeping good too.
I hope Inferno didn’t scare them off. They were my babies, and I enjoyed their company outside of making money.
I shot them both a text from the group messenger I created for us.
It was still considered early morning. Nearing five o’ clock, Aiden responded saying they both were good and that I had a crazy nigga on my hands.
Caiden responded five minutes later saying Inferno wasn’t normal, he claimed Inferno had a Flamethrower pointed at their heads and told them to leave calmly.
I chuckled and locked my phone. What sane nigga walked around with a fucking Flamethrower?
Pulling up to my house, my neighborhood was quiet. I looked over at Bundy who looked like he was pissed about something. His jaws kept clenching as he held onto the stirring wheel tight.
“What’s wrong with you?” I really didn’t want to know.
All I wanted to do was rest but I also cared about this nigga feelings.
Bundy looked over at me with sadness in his eyes.
How could a man be so damn fine, a cold killer but emotional at the same time.
I could have fucked on Bundy and maybe we would’ve had something solid.
I saw him for what he was and how he could possibly try to change the parts of me that I didn’t want to change.
He was a man that wore his heart on his sleeve, a woman like me would run circles around Bundy.
I nipped what we had before it could even get started.
I didn’t want to lead him on and play with his feelings.
Men that got deep in their feelings did crazy shit to express just how bad you hurt them.
I wasn’t the one for all the extra shit, Bundy was a good dude.
Who he was on the inside was selfless and very unique.
I valued our friendship and wanted to keep it like that.
“If I was to quit working for you, would you be with me then?” I fixed my face before I spoke. I even remained quiet for some time before I even responded to him. I could have ripped the band aid off and said no. Instead, I was about to give him my real outlook. I didn’t want a relationship at all.
“I don’t want to ever be the chick that becomes mentally content with a man, just to say I have one.
” He went to move his mouth, but nothing came out.
His eyes landed on the huge rock on my finger.
I didn’t care to explain just yet what was going on with the whole marriage situation. Talking about it made it real.
“What does that mean Queen?”
“It can mean a lot of things; I just know that women tend to force themselves and train their brains to become mentally content with a man. They overlook red flags just to feel secure with a man. I get it, nobodies perfect. I just will never brain wash myself again and overlook red flags.” That was the truth, I made that mistake years ago with Melvin.
I played with my own mind and ignored my intuition.
I wanted the kind of love my parents shared.
At the time I thought I could make that happen with Melvin.
I ignored all the questions that would constantly pop up in my head.
I kept telling myself that no one was perfect.
“It may sound like I’m talking in fuckin circles.
I like you Bundy, I don’t get the butterflies in my stomach when we close are alone like now.
Don’t feel fucked up about it because I don’t get that with no man.
I don’t want a relationship; I’m trying to secure all of our future and that’s with money.
Let’s say you quit, and I fuck with you, I can tell you now, I wouldn’t get rid of the twins.
I wouldn’t be faithful to you; I wouldn’t treat you good at all Bundy.
” He kept his eyes on my ring and I already knew what was about to come out of his mouth.
“You marrying this nigga. You know me, Queen. I keep quiet to please you, but I love you.” I was cringing hard now, that’s what turned me off with Bundy.
He was very emotional and didn’t know how to take the fucking hints.
I was letting him down nicely when I could have ended this whole conversation minutes ago.
“That’s the thing Bundy, I don’t want a man to keep quiet because he’s desperate for my acceptance.
If I ever do get a man, I want that nigga to make noise.
I got love for you too Bundy but this between us will be nothing but a friendship.
Me getting married is not for love. It’s business.
I want you to find a woman that’s normal, let her be your peace baby, I will never be your peace because I don’t know what the fuck that is.
” I grabbed the side of his handsome face and rubbed it softly for a couple of seconds.
Hopping out of his car, he kept his eyes on me.
I went to the back seat to get my duffle bag then tapped the door of his car.
I hope he didn’t make things awkward as fuck.
I wish he never even conjured feelings for me to begin with.
At the end of the day Bundy was a grown ass man and he knew the rules.
Him asking to quit didn’t mean shit to me either.
It wouldn’t make me want him or look at him like he was doing something big for me.
I made it inside and went straight to my bathroom to wash my hands and get in the bed. I probably slept for about an hour in a half before I was awakened.
“Sovereign.” His Spanish thick accent stirred something in me. I had lied to Bundy about having butterflies. Inferno made me feel stupid butterflies without even trying.
This man was irresistibly fine, one hand in his black dress pants the other holding his lit cigar.
“Get up, my attorney is here. She will go over some papers with you. I have personal rules for you as well but that’s not concerning our so-called marriage. Be professional and courteous.” I just looked at him blankly and sat up.
“I thought I was too fat to be your wife. Oh, and I can’t take dick.”
“That’s true, but you will be my wife and also be apart of my Syndicate. I’m a very busy man Sovereign, the longer I stand here and talk to you about a bunch of nothing, the more time we waste.” He had a look of irritation plastered on his face.
“I don’t like wasting my time or my words. Get up, clean yourself, and meet us in the front.”
“What if I don’t want to fucking marry you? You can’t force me to do shit that I don’t want to do.” He smiled and walked towards my dresser. Picking up his flamethrower he neared me.