CHAPTER 18
HELEN
The heavy weight of Rhodes’s arm around my waist feels grounding as I wake up. His gentle deep breathing at my back has me closing my eyes and soaking up this moment. I’ve been waking up like this for days now and I like it more every time it happens.
This morning is a little different though. I don’t need to rush off to work, and he won’t be pulling on his Sheriff uniform and making me the perfect iced coffee before we kiss and go our separate ways. It feels momentous and special.
But is it too precious?
Part of me has been waiting for the other shoe to drop. It’s not fair to Rhodes. Fuck, it isn’t even fair to me.
As much as I want to trust him and what is happening between us with every fiber of my being, it’s not easy. I’ve gotten used to life giving me good but always tempering it with a lesson. I desperately hope Rhodes isn’t just a harbinger of another hard-earned scar.
I’m not sure I would survive this one.
It would cut deep.
I would bleed out before anyone could save me.
And I’m just not sure who I would be on the other side.
“You’re thinking awfully hard, Sweetheart,” Rhodes rumbles the words and I feel them just as much as hear them.
There’s something incredibly sensual about his rough, sleepy morning voice. It does things to me and I don’t mind it one bit.
I hope he doesn’t notice when I rub my thighs together to get just a little friction, but from his rumbly chuckle, I know he does. My cheeks heat, but it’s not from embarrassment.
“Now you’re thinking naughty thoughts,” he muses.
His hands start to roam over my body, and I arch into his touch. The way my skin feels too tight and too hot as his hands glide along my every curve.
The way he touches me is full of fire as a shiver runs up my spine. My eyes slide closed and I almost get lost in the sensation. Almost.
He murmurs the question against my neck, “What’s your plan for the day?”
At first, the words don’t register and I arch back against him, my ass making contact with the hard ridge of his cock. He grinds against me before gripping my hip and holding me in place. When he pulls his hips back and I lose contact with his dick, I make a keening sound.
“I asked you a question,” he rasps before nipping at my ear.
“Wha-what? You did?” I sound dazed, even to me.
It’s just the way Rhodes affects me.
He makes a humming sound, and his voice drops an octave, “What’s your plan for the day?”
“Your hands are on my naked skin and you’re asking me about my plans for the day?” I sound incredulous; as I should.
“Fine,” he concedes, “I can see how you could be distracted.”
And then his hands still. He doesn’t move them away from my body, but his touch no longer roams. It doesn’t do a damn thing to stop the need coursing through me.
I huff out an annoyed breath and make no attempt to hide it. The way Rhodes’s chest shakes against my back as I feel his laughter rumble more than hear it, does nothing to soothe my frustration. Nope, not even a little.
My words are strained as my body desperately wants to rub against my man like a cat in heat. But he holds me in place. It’s maddening.
“I was planning on hitting a salvage yard sale type thing over in Hickory,” I bite out the words.
He plants a kiss right below my ear and it feels like a reward. But it’s not.
Then his hands start to move again, and I let out a moan which is wanton as fuck.
Before I can complain or try my feminine wiles again to get his control to snap, Rhodes rolls me on my back and he’s looming over me. The feel of him above me has my pussy flooding with the evidence of my arousal. I can feel it slicking up my thighs.
One side of his mouth tips up in a devilish smirk. It goes right to my clit. When he closes the distance between us, I fully expect him to kiss me, but he buries his face against my neck first. Then his lips come out to play.
He kisses and licks my skin, and I arch my back in response. His words are muffled against my skin, “You’re fucking gorgeous like this, Sweetheart. I love how responsive you are to me.”
The l-word, even in this context, passing his lips has my heart pounding harder in my chest. He loves how responsive I am to him, but the real question is whether or not he could love me.
He’s already shown you.
As his mouth moves down my body and he bites down on my nipple, I let the realization sink in that Rhodes has already shown me how he feels. Through action. Through behavior. Through the way he touches me with reverence which lacks any restraint whatsoever.
After he sucks one nipple into his mouth, teasing it with the tip of his tongue, he does the same to the other. And then he’s sliding further down my body. The twinkle in his eye tells me exactly what he intends to do.
I’m here for it.
When he pushes my thighs apart to make room for his broad shoulders, his fingers dig into my flesh, and it makes me shift restlessly underneath him. His touch is close to where I want it but not quite.
His breath skates over my dripping pussy as my fingers dive into his hair. When he growls, it reverberates through my entire body. Then he dives face first between my thighs.
With his flattened tongue, he tastes my arousal and lets out a sound of pure satisfaction. When his lips wrap around my clit and he sucks it into his mouth, my hips jolt slightly. His large arm bands across the expanse of my hips as he holds me in place.
The sounds are pure feral hunger.
His fingers tighten their grip, and he spreads my thighs even wider and the muscles start to burn. But the way he possesses me, the way he holds me still like he’s afraid that I’ll disappear from underneath him, makes me feel powerful.
It shouldn’t.
It should make me feel trapped. Caught.
But it feels like I’m soaring right now. It’s pure freedom, even in his iron grip. Has anyone else ever felt this sensation? Like wind in your hair and gravity as your conquest?
It’s exhilarating and addicting.
When he stiffens his tongue and pushes it inside of my tight channel, lapping at the taste of me, the snarl that comes from his chest has my thighs tensing as they try to close around his head. But he won’t allow it. His fingers hold my thighs open for his feast.
I just know that there will be bruises there later. I’m looking forward to them adorning my skin. Like warpaint, but instead of violence it’s pleasure which is part of the revelry.
As he slides his mouth back up to suck my clit back in his mouth, two of his fingers plunge deep into my pussy. He curls them just right and finds the spot inside of me which has my eyes rolling back in my head as my back arches.
But I can hardly move.
Because he’s holding me in statis for his enjoyment. And he is fucking devouring me.
It’s all teeth and growls.
“You’re going to come all over my face,” his growled demand has me teetering on the edge.
But I don’t want to come yet. I want to keep feeling this sensation. I want to stay in this moment.
“Don’t fight it, Helen,” he demands.
And my body responds, as if it is more his, than it is my own. It’s a damn good thing that I trust him with my body. With my life.
“Soak my beard with your juices. Come, now,” he barks.
My body bends to his will and lights explode behind my eyelids as my thighs tense while I’m coated in pleasure which has me screaming his name. The orgasm rolls through me like a wave, but the sensation is so big and feels like it’s taking me back out to sea as the tsunami recedes.
I’m a panting mess as my body sinks into the bed. I feel boneless to the point I would be concerned if my brain was at full capacity. But it’s not since I’m coated in pleasure and only marginally aware of my surroundings.
Rhodes gentles his touch as if he’s coaxing my pleasure into the afterglow. And what a post-pleasure haze it is.
All thoughts of going to Hickory for anything flies out the window. The only thing I want to do is stay wrapped up in bed with Rhodes.
Rhodes chuckles as he slides back up my body. My eyes only open halfway as I look up at him. His beard is coated with my arousal, and it gives me a sense of smug satisfaction. It probably shouldn’t but knowing I’ve marked him in some way is heady and sexier than I ever imagined.
Mine. Rhodes Wilder is mine.
“Gotta say, Sweetheart,” he drawls, “I like this look on you?”
“What look?” My cheeks heat slightly at the possessiveness he’s looking at me with.
“The look of satisfaction and the way you’re eyes are glazed over with pleasure,” he rasps.
My hands slide down his sides and feel his muscles bunch under my touch. Just before I can reach his hard length, he grips my wrists and slowly pushes my hands away from him and up over my head.
“That was all for you. I was hungry and needed to get my fill,” there’s a tease in his voice.
“I want to take care of you,” my words sound small and I’m not sure why.
Vulnerability claws at me in a way I don’t like. I’ve faked being strong and sure of things. I’ve taken on the weight of keeping everything together.
The thought of having pleasure that is only mine, without giving it back, makes me feel like I’m taking something I’m not owed. It feels wrong.
“Hey,” Rhodes’s voice is low with an edge of steel as his hand wraps around my throat and uses his thumb to tip my chin up.
When I meet his eyes, I know there’s no way for me to hide from him.
“I realize it’s going to take time, but you’ll get used to me taking care of you.
Eventually you’ll realize that giving you pleasure does the same for me. ”
“But I can feel how hard you are,” I murmur.
The throaty chuckle that comes out of him has my pussy clenching. Even though I just came and can still feel the tingles of bliss rushing through my veins. I want more and I’m not ashamed of it.
“So?”
I blink up at him and try to understand the very simple question.
So?