Chapter 28
That was the complete opposite of what I expected. I suspected Arturo had issues but boy was I wrong. The poor guy suffered from more demons than Lucifer. And here was me thinking he really didn’t care… How wrong was I?
As I stood by the window overlooking the lake, my mind wandered to places it shouldn’t have.
Did I deserve him?
Why wouldn’t you, Bells? Give him a chance and let him in, let him love you.
That wasn’t the voice of a demon, that was the voice of someone I missed daily, someone I missed dearly.
“Lookin’ for me?” I was so lost in my own mind I hadn’t noticed Arturo return as I gazed out the window, half expecting him to be running endlessly around the lake like he usually did at this time.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure,” he said, walking over to stroke my hair.
“Why do you run?” I asked, unsure if I should. I held my breath as he stilled beside me.
“Usually when I can’t sleep, nothin’ major,” he wrapped his arms around me, enveloping me in his warm embrace. “Let’s go to bed,” he whispered, pushing my hair over my shoulder, allowing him access to my bare neck.
“Thank you.”
“For what?” he asked, an inquisitive look on his face.
“For telling me the truth. I know you must not share much, if anything,” I wrapped my arms around his waist, placing my chin on his naked torso as our eyes met.
“I hate sharin’ shit. Openin’ up to people isn’t my thing, you know? There’s always some tosser waitin’ to judge or use your pain against you. But…” he kissed my forehead before continuing, “with you, it’s… easier.”
“Look at the life I grew up in, I promise you I’ll never judge you, no matter what you’ve done in the past,”
“Fuck, Isabella Ricci, where have you been my whole life?” he asked, his voice sending goosebumps across my skin.
“Right here. It’s just your demons got in the way first,” I smiled as he lifted me into his arms, and I knew that was where I was meant to be.
Fuck everything else.
We’d work it out.
And we’d do it together.
Just the two of us.
The sheets as well as his arms enveloped me the second he climbed in beside me. “What do they mean?” I traced my fingers across the tattoos that covered his chest, the tiger grabbing my attention.
“Honestly, nothin’. I thrived off the pain, so after my first one I just carried on.” He laced his fingers with mine, for once he seemed relaxed. “It started with piercings, then I went onto ink. The pain was the only thing that seemed to quieten the demons.”
“Then you ran out of space?” I giggled.
“Yeah, but I have something a lot better to quieten the demons now.”
“True,” I replied, straddling his lap. With a dark smirk, full of pleasure, he propped himself up on his elbows.
“I don’t understand. How you can be so understandin’ and calm? It don’t make sense to me,” he admitted, sounding confused.
“You can thank my mother for that,” I laughed, as did he. “Honestly though, she raised me to know that not everything was as it seemed, people express themselves in different ways, we aren’t all the same.”
“Sounds like she speaks from experience,” he was right.
“Her and my father didn’t exactly have an easy ride,” I sighed. “She was taken by someone she considered a friend… And my father was beside himself.”
“I bet he was,” Arturo’s face hardened at hearing about my parents’ trauma.
“Yeah, he wouldn’t rest until she was home safe,” I pushed a stray hair off his forehead as he listened intently. “That was his turning point, from that moment he vowed to change for her.”
“I ain’t known your father long, but I can tell he’s a good man. And trust me, I’ve been around some fuckers to know,” he whispered, bringing his lips within touching distance of mine.
“Arturo?”
“ Mi princesa ?” I blushed the second those words left his mouth.
“I’ve never been with a man,” I blurted. “Fuck, I mean, you knew that, but I’ve never been—” I covered my face with my hand feeling the embarrassment take over. With a gentleness he’d never shown before, he pulled my hand away, keeping his eyes locked on mine.
“In a relationship?”
“Is that what you want? A relationship?” I questioned, scared he’d say no.
“I have no doubt this will turn into somethin’ fuckin’ special, but I’ll let you in on a little secret,” he leaned in closer, “I’ve never been in one either, so why don’t we take baby steps and just take it one day at a time?”
“That sounds perfect,” I glanced over at the clock on the vanity to see it was creeping into the early hours of the morning.
“Come here, let’s get some sleep. I plan on workin’ you hard later on,” he teased, yanking me down beside him before enveloping me in his inked arms.
After that it didn’t take Arturo long to drift off into a deep sleep, I ran my fingers through his hair as the lines between his brows softened.
It pained me that he believed so little in himself.
I knew he’d never fully escape them and helping him face his fears from the past was going to be an almighty mountain to climb, but at least he would no longer have to do it alone.
I would trek up it with him, and face them all.
I could only hope that the nightmares that plagued him would soon turn peaceful and be ones he could sleep through, ones that he might one day enjoy.
As I laid beside him, breathing him in, I replayed the evening over in my mind, replaying his every word.
It hurt to think he didn’t think he could trust me enough to tell me about something that involved me, but a part of me completely understood why he hid it.
I knew my life wasn’t the easiest life to grow up in, there was always some kind of threat, but I had grown used to it because my family were a team. We stood by one another no matter what.
I gnawed at my lip as I realised I knew so little about Arturo’s family. But that was a subject for another day. We’d turned a corner tonight and I hoped that from here on out, little by little he would continue to let me in.
Arturo can be your family, just like Luca was mine.
But can I be his?
I don’t know anything about being someone's person, being the way you were with Luca… What if I fail?
You’ve never failed before, B. Trust yourself.
I could have easily spoken with Peyton in my head for hours, I usually did. It was the only way I felt better, the only way I had been able to grieve.
“ Mi princesa , please get some sleep,” Arturo whispered sleepily, pulling me tight against him “I can hear you overthinkin’.”
“I’m not, I’m sorry, go back to sleep,” I ran my fingertips across his cheek bone, hoping he would drift back off.
“Stop overthinkin’ this, stop overthinkin’ us,” he smiled.
“It’s just I don’t really know what I’m doing, or if I can do it… what if?—”
He sat bolt upright, his eyes now wide and awake. There wasn’t a look of irritation because I’d woken him up with my never ending thoughts ticking away, there was just a look of genuine concern laced with a little amusement.
“Princess, I don’t have a clue what I’m doin’ either, all I know is you belong with me, and cock ups are bound to happen; it’s natural,” He sounded like a relationship pro, even though he was anything but.
“What if my father finds out,” my mouth dropped open, the thought shocking me to the core. “He’ll?—”
“I don’t give a flyin’ fuck what your father thinks. Nobody, and I mean nobody is standin’ in the way of you and me, not anymore.” He gripped my face between his hands and slammed his lips against mine, knocking the breath from my lungs.
His hands on my skin were what I needed, what I craved.
It had felt like an eternity since he had last touched me, and there was nothing about this kiss that could be classed as a one off or another mistake.
This kiss was one being shared by two people who were anything but perfect.
Two people who should run in opposite directions, but instead couldn’t stand to be parted no matter how hard we tried.
“Relax, mi princes a, you’re wound tighter than a rubber band,” he mumbled against my lips. Taking a breath I focused on slowly letting the thoughts that clouded my mind disappear, and focused on the man beside me.
His tongue slid past my lips as they parted slightly allowing him access.
His hands skated down the slope of my back, relaxing me before pulling me onto his lap.
His cock twitched against the thin material of my shorts and I whimpered into his mouth, the anticipation building in the pit of my stomach.
“You have no idea how much I want to fuckin’ take you, but tonight ain’t the night,” he whispered against my lips.
“Tonight was about you forgivin’ me for being a cunt and keepin’ somethin’ from you I shouldn’t have.
But you have to understand it’s all I’ve known, I’ve never had to open up about shit before. ”
I responded with a kiss, there was no need to respond with words.
This man was something else entirely and I knew in my heart that he would rip me open exposing all the grief and heartache I hid.
He would destroy the carefully built walls I’d erected around my heart and for the first time in my life I wanted it.
I wanted to be ruined by the one man I shouldn’t.
“You’re so fuckin’ perfect, Bella.” The way my name rolled off his tongue was near enough an aphrodisiac. “I can’t wait to fuck and savour that tight, sweet pussy,” he whispered huskily against my bare shoulder, his lips decorating my skin between each word.
“Arturo—”
“No, no, beautiful, not tonight.”
“I know,” I smiled as his lips met mine.
And there in the bed I’d always slept in alone, I laid wrapped up in Arturo’s arms and it was by far the safest and most content I had ever felt.