9. Cato
Cato
Liquor sloshes in my cup as I give it a slow swirl. Normally I wouldn’t be nursing a drink, but Sovran’s words keep running laps in my head.
“You should finish that,” Bash says from beside me, nodding toward my cup. “It’ll help you sleep.”
“Yeah, probably,” I agree, swirling it again. Bash hums deep in his throat in that annoying way he does when he thinks he knows everything. “Something on your mind?” I ask pointedly.
“I know why you’re doing this,” he says. Xeni’s head is in his lap, pretending not to eavesdrop as those pointed ears perk up. Ego is curled in an armchair, and Sakane is on the ground beside her, leaning against the side.
“Oh?” I counter. I distract myself with a sip, wincing as it burns down my throat. Sprocket convinced Nyx and Reyes to give her a portion of their latest corn crop for moonshine, and now we have gallons of the stuff. It doesn’t taste great, but fuck, it gets the job done.
“It’s some sort of twisted vengeance quest, and you’re going to get hurt.”
“Vengeance?” I demand. “Here I am, selflessly charging into a world that apparently wants to freeze me to death, and you want to argue about why I’m doing it?”
“Selfless might be a bit of a stretch,” Sakane says with a wink, though I don’t miss the worry behind it.
“I’m not even the one benefitting from this mission,” I point out, then gesture at Xeni laying across Bash’s lap.
“You and your pretty princess are going to be the ones with everlasting life together, not me. You think you’d be a little more grateful that I offered to fix this hellhole instead of letting it burn down around me. ”
Sakane sits up taller, brows flicking together. “Thing is, you’ve never really wanted to fix anything before. You’re more of a blow-it-up-and-move-on kind of guy.”
Bash gestures at the scars running up the right side of my body. “You’ve spent your life trying to get back at the ones that hurt you. That won’t fly this time. You can’t go over there ready to wage war.”
“I’m not,” I stress. “Don’t make me out to be some mindless killer.”
“All I’m saying is you’ve always been the first to sign up for a mission that ends in taking a few of them out.”
Ego hiccups and nods. “You get that wild look in your eyes when you kill them.” She makes a slicing motion with her hand, stretching her eyes wide as she does it.
I open my mouth to argue, but Bash rushes to speak over me.
“Before you say it, I’m not defending them, and I’m not trying to insult you.
We all know who you are, Cato. You’re the most loyal person I’ve ever met.
The missions you accept are against bad people doing bad things.
I know that, okay? You have valid reasons to hate their kind. ”
“Where’s the but?” I ask with a scowl.
“But… the monsters in Elyra aren’t your enemies.”
“You think I don’t realize that?” I snap. “They don’t have anything to do with what happened to me. I know that.”
“Do you?” he challenges.
Ego leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “Oh, come on, Bash. Give him at least a little credit.”
“Thank you!” I say, throwing my hands up.
“Annihilation of monsterkind is only his secondary goal,” she continues.
My eyes roll up into my head at the goading. “So what’s the first goal, then, Ego? Please share.”
“We all know you’re a bit of an attention whore. You want the accolades.”
Some of my anger fades as I breathe a laugh. “I’m the attention whore?” I ask, gesturing at her hair. It’s faded into a much tamer blue now that she has to rely on natural dyes, but she keeps it up religiously.
“Sure are,” she agrees with a grin.
“Uh huh,” I drawl. “And… remind me, whatever happened to that stack of wanted posters you autographed ‘just in case’?”
“They’re in the closet, along with several of yours. One of these days, when you’re being crowned the ginger savior of the world, you’ll thank me when they help bankroll our lavish lifestyle.”
“Sounds fair. I’ll save the world and you’ll reap the benefits.”
“Now you’re getting it,” she says with a nod. She downs her cup in a single swallow, then glances at mine and arches a brow.
I huff and pass it over. “Glad to see you understand your contribution here.”
Bash shakes his head, raking his fingers through Xeni’s hair. “Seriously though, you need to be careful. Ronan and Lillith are warriors, but when shit hits the fan, they’re going to look out for their mates first. If anything threatens Cameron or Taryn, those two will be useless.”
“I wouldn’t put it past Ronan to abandon you altogether,” Xeni adds, voice muffled with a yawn. “Just toss Cameron over his shoulder and book it out of there.”
“Lillith would at least probably throw you over her shoulder along with Taryn,” Ego adds.
“Dear gods, no one is throwing me over their shoulders,” I argue. “I can fend for myself. So can Aryn. The others can run off and hide with their mates and we’ll be fine.”
Ego lets out an obnoxious sound somewhere between a moan and a growl. “Aryn could fend for me any day. I want to hook a leash to those nipple rings and ride him into the sunset. Take that tail for a spin, if you catch my drift.”
“Are you done?” I ask, snatching my cup out of her hand and walking to the counter.
“Oh, someone’s defensive. Touchy subject, is it? Are you embarrassed over that little tingle in your nethers from your midnight rendezvous with the ripped red devil?”
“Rendezvous?” Sakane asks, suddenly far more interested in the conversation.
“Stop making it sound like a scandal,” I say as I point the cup at her. “It’s not a rendezvous. We’re training. And how do you know about that, anyway?”
She shakes her empty glass at me for a refill. “I know everything.”
Bash watches me with those cautious eyes as I pour Ego another shot, then drop back onto the couch beside him. “What’s this about midnight training?”
“Nothing,” I stress. “We spar sometimes.”
Xeni cracks his eye open, looking far too amused. “You and Aryn? Sparring? At night? Alone?”
“You are a child. It’s not like that.”
Ego leans forward with a wicked grin. “Then why are your ears turning red, ginger?”
“They are not.”
Sakane tilts his head, studying me with a frown. “You’ve been sneaking out at night?”
“Not every night,” I mutter. “And it’s not sneaking. It’s training. We both need to stay sharp.”
Bash’s eyebrows climb higher. “And you didn’t mention it because…?”
“Because it’s not a big deal,” I snap. “We swing swords at each other until we’re tired. There’s no big conspiracy.”
Xeni snorts softly. “Midnight sword fights? That’s practically foreplay.”
Ego downs the rest of her drink. “Mm-hmm. This is going to fuel my dreams for weeks.”
I heave a loud sigh. “You’re all ridiculous.”
Bash is still watching me too closely. “Just… be careful, okay?”
I lean back against the couch and close my eyes. “I’m always careful.” The room fills with skeptical hums and a few quiet laughs, but I don’t bother arguing anymore. They can think whatever they want.
“Of course you are,” Bash says with a chuckle. “Seriously though. We need you to come home.”
I glance over and squeeze his arm, ignoring the quiet growl that comes from Xeni. His good eye is closed and his patch is off, exposing the scars on the other, but his lip is curled into a snarl.
“Of course I’ll come home. You think I’d ever leave you behind with only your asshole husband for company?”
Ego scoffs and smacks Sakane on the shoulder. “What are we? Invisible?”
Bash doesn’t smile, just pulls his cheek in to chew on the inside until the skin dimples. “You sure you want to do this?” he asks quietly.
I drop the cocky pretense and give him a smile that’s more genuine. “When the alternative is sitting back and waiting for the world to fall apart around us? Yeah, Bash. I’m sure.”
Dawn comes with a light, misty rain and a stiff neck after tossing and turning all night.
The others mill about in the living room.
Ego cuddles into Sakane’s side, looking a little worse for wear after a few too many drinks.
Bash is dressed in a shirt and loose pair of boxer shorts, pacing a damn hole into the floor, while Xeni is rumpled in a long t-shirt and messy hair.
I keep my eyes above his waist, because history has taught me the consequences of doing otherwise.
“Should we come see you off?” Bash asks as I grab my loaded pack from beside the door.
I turn to look at him, letting my eyes roam over his warm brown skin and the worry lines already creasing his forehead.
Bash is one of the few genuine friends I’ve ever had, and I realize just how much I’m going to miss him.
It isn’t a romantic sort of emptiness that hits me—gods know we failed at that the moment we tried it—but the kind that comes from being separated from the little family you have left in this world.
“No,” I answer, forcing my voice to stay light. “We’ve got a schedule to keep, and you don’t need to get dressed on my account.” I glare at Xeni’s bare legs as I say it.
“Be careful?” Sakane says, smoothing his hair back so the flyaways lay flat. His bun has come loose from sleep, and he tightens it, fidgeting with a rare seriousness about him.
“Hey now, none of that,” I say, gentler than I mean to. Rough edges and sharp wit have always been my defining traits, and even among my friends, I have a hard time letting the softer bits show. “You just have to promise not to get into trouble while I’m gone. I won’t be here to rescue you.”
A reluctant grin twitches on his lips. “Please. It’s literally always me having to bail your ass out of every mess you find yourself in.”
“Is that how you remember it? What about that time you got caught stealing a birthday cake for Ego even after we gave you money for it?”
“I was going to use the money for a gift,” he argues. “And besides, I specifically heard them say they were going to toss it if it didn’t sell that day. I was doing them a favor by reducing their waste.”
“So noble. Remind me… who helped you get away when they called the guards?”
He glares, arms folding across his chest. “I got away on my own. Even broke through the zip-ties without your help.”
“Hmm,” I hum. “Is that how you remember it? Because I distinctly recall you shrieking my name while you ran.”
“We don’t mention that part, you ass,” he hisses, then rushes forward and wraps his arms around my waist. “Don’t make me have to come pull you out of some other dimension, Cato.”
The touch surprises me at first. Physical affection is something I rarely experience unless it leads to sex.
Soft words and goodbye hugs disappeared when I was barely thirteen.
After that, my life became picking locks, stealing food, and learning how to survive on my own.
It’s one of those side effects of losing your family that no one talks about—you stop trusting anyone to stick around, and you definitely don’t let yourself get attached.
People don’t stay, because I don’t let them.
Simple as that.
Except, it isn’t always so black and white. These three have weaseled their way past my defenses, despite my kicking and screaming at the beginning. None of us fit anywhere on our own, but somehow, all our rough edges aligned from the beginning.
They’re my people, even if I refuse to be a fucking sap about it.
I hug Sakane, cupping the back of his head and squeezing his much thinner body against mine. “I’ll be careful, Sakane. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”
Another set of arms wraps around us as Ego joins the hug, then Bash finishes our family huddle as he rests his head on my shoulder and throws his arms around us as well. Xeni meets my eyes just beyond him, somber in a way he rarely lets the world see.
“You can’t break his heart by dying,” he says with a bravado I see straight through. “As terrifying as it is, the end of the world is in your giant hands, gingersnap. Don’t fuck this up.”
I roll my eyes as the hug breaks apart. “Such a poetic send-off.”
Xeni shrugs, lips twitching. “Felt appropriate.”
We say a few more lingering goodbyes before I step out into the dreary morning.
The sun has barely risen, and the trees are that richer shade of green that happens when the leaves twist and reach for the rain.
A deep breath of ozone and damp earth fills my lungs as I take one last glance behind me and toss up a wave.
The door closes, determination settles in place, and I head toward the waiting van.