Chapter 11
HANNA
Once Miles disappeared down the hall, the rest of Thursday and Friday went by without much excitement.
I’m happy to see he noticed how I moved some things around in my office in case he decided to come back.
After he left our first session, I stayed late to take some things off the wall and even looked up the local fire code to make sure I was abiding by it.
It wasn’t a major gesture by any means, but I could tell it meant a lot to him.
He seemed more relaxed the second time around, even if he had come to me in a near state of panic.
I feel my eyebrows push together as I remember his words.
I had an argument with Carter and haven’t been able to sleep the last few days.
I went for a run earlier this morning and kind of ended up here.
I’d convinced myself that our first session had been a flop based on how eager he was to leave.
Clearly, I’d made some sort of an impact on him if, while on a run in the early hours of the day, he thought to come and talk to me when he was feeling unsteady.
Once he shared the softer side of himself, I couldn’t seem to keep my brain focused on anything else.
The way he called me ‘doc.’
How he ran his fingers through his hair.
His smile.
But mostly, how much darkness he seems to be carrying with him.
Ever since I was little, I’ve had this innate ability to sense how other people are feeling.
Like their emotions are as obvious as the clothes they’re wearing.
For the longest time, I didn’t understand why I could feel things more deeply than my friends at school.
Why, when other girls were wondering why their friend wasn’t talking to them or a boy in our class was picking fights and no one knew why, I did.
It feels like all I have to do is look at another person and I can feel their emotions in my own body.
It’s partially why I’m so good at my job and I graduated as quickly as I did.
I’ve known what I’ve wanted to do with my life since I was sixteen years old.
And that was to help people understand their emotions as well as I understand them.
So they could live a little lighter than they did before meeting me.
But Miles?
He feels different.
Heavier. Darker. And from what I can sense, he isn’t going to be the type of person who lets someone else in to help him let go very easily. But he came and saw me when he needed it and that is a very good start.
A knock on my front door pulls me to my feet from the couch and when I open it, I find Rae beaming at me. Teeth on full display, I can see her hair has been freshly teased and she has an overnight bag slung over her shoulder.
“Who’s ready for a wild night out?” When she cheers with a shimmy of her shoulders, flashbacks of my dad on our walk spring into my mind.
I laugh. “Oh lordy, she brought her bag with her. This girl has zero intention of keeping any sense of sensibility tonight.”
“Sensibility? I don’t know her.” She waves a hand at me as she steps inside my apartment and tosses her bag on the couch. “It’s the first time in weeks that I’m not on call at the agency and ya girl is ready to enjoy a Saturday night out with her best friend!”
She says it with a high pitched squeal as she spins around to face me. When she does, her face falls. “Sweetie, what’s the matter?”
I feel my eyebrows pinch together. “What do you mean, what’s the matter?”
“Hanna, you’ve been my best friend for years now, I know when something’s bothering you. You have a terrible poker face when you’re not in therapist mode,” she teases, raising a brow at me. “Spill it.”
“I was thinking about a patient, that’s all.” I wave her off.
“Girl, it’s Saturday night, you’re off the clock. I love how much you care and it’s hella admirable how hard you work, but you need to learn to turn off therapist Hanna every now and then. You’ll work yourself to the bone if you don’t.”
I stop myself from rolling my eyes because she pretty much repeated what my dad said to me last weekend. Is it really so wrong that I love my job and care about the people I help?
I sigh and take a step towards her to pull her into a hug. “Help me do my hair? I can’t go out looking like a slob standing next to someone as stunning as you.”
This earns me a ‘pssh’ and a playful shove before she heads to my bathroom to help me get ready. Blinking a few times, I push the worry I feel about my newest patient out of my mind, if only for a night.
‘You and Miss Rae work too hard. You should go out, have fun, meet new people,’ my dad’s words ring in my ears.
He’s right, I do work hard. So tonight, I’ll let my friend do my hair and take me out, have a couple of drinks, and cheer her on when an attractive man inevitably hits on her like they always do.
I can worry about my clients when I’m back in my office on Monday.
Tonight is about Rae and me letting loose and having fun.
And I’m going to live in the moment as much as I can.
“Come on, Smithy, one more with me,” my best friend eggs me on, calling me the name she used back in grad school.
We’d walked down King Street and landed at some sort of sports bar.
There is a stage at the front where they must have live music come and play but tonight it’s cleared out.
A DJ stand is to one side and a lone microphone stands in the center.
This is the third stop on our night out on the town and Rae is trying to get me to take another shot with her.
“You’re a terrible influence, you know that?” I say, smirking from the stool I’m perched on. We’re both several beers in and a few shots down. A few more and we’ll be toasted come sunrise.
“On the weekends, yes I am.” She nods her head confidently. “I’m too responsible during the week, I gotta get my bad side out sometimes.”
“I think someone wants to see your bad side,” I hum, turning to speak into her ear while throwing the shot back. She looks to where my eyes have darted from and smiles sheepishly. A man who looks to be our age with deep, rich skin gives her a handsome smile from across the bar.
“Are you flushed from the alcohol or from the man who’s checking you out?” I tease, leaning into her and laughing.
“Baby, who says it’s not both?” she questions, pulling the shot back and cracking up with me.
“Ope, here he comes,” I say quickly, trying to fix my face and not completely lose myself in a fit of giggles. The drinks we’ve consumed are starting to take over my executive function making the task more difficult than it should be.
“What?” she exclaims, sitting up straight on her stool and brushing her hair out of her face. Her eyes are wide and she’s staring at me. The man from across the bar is approaching quickly, coming up behind her.
“He’s right behind you. Oh my gosh, he’s cuter up close. Seriously, this always happens to you. Stop messing with your hair, you look fine.” I hurry the words out and bat her hand away from her face just in time for the man to approach us.
“Ladies,” he says smoothly, smiling widely at the both of us.
“Hello.”
“Hey.”
We both reply, trying to be polite. Rae’s hands are wound tightly in her lap and she smiles between the newcomer and me.
“You two look like you’re having a good time tonight. I’m Leon.” He extends a hand towards Rae but she doesn’t take it. Instead, she stares up at him awkwardly as if she’s been somehow put on pause. What the hell is happening to my normally confident and outgoing best friend?
“I’m Hanna,” I cut in, taking his hand and giving it a shake. “And this is my friend, Rae. Say hello, Rae,” I encourage, bumping her on the shoulder.
“Hello, Rae,” she says quietly, mouth hanging open. This gets him to laugh and his smile only grows as he looks at her. He may be shaking my hand but his eyes haven’t left hers.
“I was wondering if you wanted to dance?”
The question seems to spark something in her, bringing her out of suspended animation. “Oh, me? Dance? Oh, no. I don’t dance.”
My face screws up as I look at her. “What the hell are you talking about? Dancing was your idea—ow, Rae, you’re hurting me.” I sneer out the last part as she’s taken my hand and is now squeezing it so hard I can feel the blood circulation being cut off.
“Besides,” she continues, giving him a polite but dismissive smile, “I can’t leave my friend. It’s just the two of us and we follow the buddy rule. You understand.”
Leon presses his lips into a line that tells me he doesn’t believe her but is a nice enough guy to not push anything she doesn’t want. “I understand. You’re a really good friend for staying with her.”
He takes a step closer to her stool so much so that he bumps into her knee. She squeezes my hand tighter when they make contact and I swallow my wince so as to not ruin the moment.
“Mmhmm,” she hiccups, giving him a sharp nod.
“If you change your mind, I’ll be over there.
” He points to where he was sitting on the other side of the bar and the two of us follow his finger before looking back at him.
“But in case you change your mind tomorrow, or any other time after tonight, call me. I’ll save that dance for you whenever you’re ready. ”
He pulls a card from his jacket and hovers it in front of her, waiting for her to take it.
Seemingly frozen yet again, I snatch it from his hand and smile at him.
When Rae doesn’t say anything after a moment, Leon bows his head and walks back to where he came from.
Once out of ear shot, I rip my hand from hers and look at her, dumbfounded.
“What the hell was that? He’s probably the most attractive man you’ve ever interacted with and you completely clammed up! What do you mean you don’t dance? You love dancing, especially with charming men like him,” I declare.