Chapter 28
MILES
Hey, I’m outside. Let’s go.
I hit send on the message to Carter and glance out the window. My truck idles against the curb after pulling into the parking lot of his building, here to pick him up to go to Sunday morning breakfast with the family.
I’ll be down in a couple minutes. On the phone.
On the phone with who? You can take the call from my truck you know.
I’ll be down in a couple minutes.
If you don’t want to wait you can just head out without me and I’ll see you there.
His reply has me scowling at my phone. We always drive out to Ivy’s together—mostly by his request. ‘Brotherly bonding time’ he calls it. As if we don’t get enough of that seeing as how we work together.
I’ll wait. Take your time.
I’m not sure what kind of call he’s on that he wouldn’t be able to have the conversation in the car with me but everyone deserves their privacy.
Pushing the off button to my truck, I look out the window and take in the day.
Christmas is next week already and you can see that in the decorations and holiday cheer that’s thrown up all over the city.
Many of the doors have wreaths on them and a few units in his building have menorahs visible in the window, ready to be lit for the first night at sundown tonight.
We have a firehouse menorah we light every year that we keep in the kitchen window.
Some of the people who work at the firehouse who celebrate Hanukkah bring in traditional fried foods and teach us games to celebrate.
We also have a Christmas tree we put up and decorate as a company.
Right now the entertainment room is full of toy donations for the drive we host every year for Fresh Start.
It’s something that I started a few years back and organize each and every year.
I plan on staying late tomorrow to organize all the toys and get them wrapped for the kids.
Thinking about it, a thought comes to mind and I pull out my phone again.
Hiya doc. How’s my pretty gray eyed girl doing today?
I stare at my message after hitting send, waiting for her to reply.
Between her work schedule and mine, we haven’t been able to see one another since I stayed at her place on Monday.
I’m dying to see her again. Sleeping next to her without doing anything more almost killed me.
When my phone buzzes in my hand I nearly drop it.
I’m sorry, but did I miss it when I became “yours”?
I guess we didn’t make it official.
But I’ve been yours ever since you drunkenly serenaded me at the bar and stole my hat. You just weren’t ready to admit you wanted to be mine yet.
Ahh I see. So what, you’re waiting for me to say I want to be yours?
I *would* like to hear you say it, yeah.
Maybe one day fireman.
Can I help you with anything else or is that the only reason you texted me?
I actually had an offer for you.
How do you feel about wrapping presents?
Uhhh, I’m only the best present wrapper in my family.
Why am I not surprised by this?
How would you feel about coming over and helping me wrap a few presents tomorrow night? I’ll make you dinner and everything, you can come over after work if you want.
I’d actually like that a lot. 5:30 okay?
5:30 is perfect. I’ll have all the supplies. Just bring yourself and those pretty freckles of yours.
I don’t think I can go anywhere without them.
Well thank god because they’re one of my favorite things about you.
Something catches my attention out of the corner of my eye and I look up to see Carter stalking towards my truck. By the way his face is pinched up I can tell something isn’t right. I quickly send off a text and start my truck.
I’ll see you tomorrow doc.
I can’t wait to wrap gifts with you.
I can’t wait either
The passenger door swings open at the force of his pull and he throws himself in the seat beside me. Locking my phone, I tuck it away into the center console and look at him expectantly.
“What?” he snaps.
“Something wrong?” I ask, knowing already that it is.
“No, I’m fine,” he mumbles as he looks out the window away from me.
He did the same thing when we were kids and something was bothering him.
He does a good job of masking it but to his core, Carter is a sensitive person.
He was always the first to cry when he thought he was in trouble or he accidentally hurt someone on the playground.
He feels things, deeply, which is why it’s a bit of a surprise when he became a first responder.
“You know Ivy is going to notice that something definitely isn’t fine. And then she’s going to pester you about it and then it’s going to get annoying—” I start, trying to get him to talk to me.
“I said I’m fine, okay? Drop it and let’s go. We’re already late.” His voice is firm and he only looks at me in quick glances.
“Who was on the phone?”
He pauses for a minute before answering. Watching him, I notice the Adam’s apple in his throat bob as he swallows hard. “It was my realtor. She found a property she thought I might want to rehab.”
I know it’s a lie but I’m also not going to push him.
With Carter, I’ve found over the years it’s best to let him come to you when he’s ready.
Giving him space to breathe, I pull away from the curb and start to head out so we don’t miss our Sunday morning plans.
Once we’re down the road a bit and he’s had a few moments to himself, I speak again.
“Why are you looking at property?”
“Why are you asking so many questions this morning?” he counters aggressively.
“Hey, I’m just asking a question because I’m curious about my brother’s life. You don’t need to bite my head off about it,” I respond, matching his tone. It’s rare that we speak so heated towards one another but something has him frayed and he’s taking it out on me.
“Because I fucking want to. That’s it. That’s the whole story.” He waves a hand out in front of him in a sharp motion, metaphorically cutting off my line of questioning.
I don’t know why he’s being so pissy about this or what has ticked him off so bad but clearly he isn’t up for talking about it.
We drive the rest of the way home in silence, letting the music of the radio fill the space between us.
He doesn’t even move to change the station to his favorite one or turn it up when a song I know he likes comes on so he can sing to it which only concerns me more.
When we finally reach the house, I pull into the driveway and he jumps out of the truck like his last breath depends on it.
Coop’s cruiser is already parked out front as is Willow’s four-door so I know we’re walking into a full house.
When I pull my phone out, I see I have a text from Hanna and I quickly swipe to look at it.
A smile spreads across my lips when I see it’s a picture of her holding her newest crochet project.
The photo is of her lap, her hand holding onto whatever the ball of yarn has yet to become with her legs bent under her.
She’s still in her pajamas which have kiwis on them this time instead of the previous peaches or strawberries.
I suddenly wish I was sitting next to her, my hand wrapped around her thigh, slowly dragging it closer to her center as far as I can until she cries ‘chicken.’ Or doesn’t.
I’d prefer doesn’t. I send off a quick message before my attention is interrupted.
“What the fuck is that face for?” Carter scowls at me from the other side of my truck.
All of the muscles in my face suddenly relax. “What face? I wasn’t making a face.”
“Yeah you were, just now, at your phone.”
“Says the guy who’s looked like he has a stick shoved up his ass the last twenty minutes,” I argue. We’re moving across the front lawn as we bicker, making our way inside.
“I do not look like I have a stick shoved up my ass,” he rebuttals, talking to me over his shoulder as we step inside our childhood home. This week it smells like pancakes, bacon, and homemade grits are on the menu.
“I beg to differ,” a new voice cuts in and we look up to find Willow standing at the end of the hall with a smirk on her face.
“No one asked you, Willie,” Carter groans, shoving past her with his shoulder.
“They never do, but always should.” She sighs condescendingly.
I pull her into a hug and love the feeling of her arms around my center.
Growing up, I always kind of saw her as my little sister.
While she and Carter have always been closer than she and I, I’d do anything for her.
Coop made Carter and I promise to look out for her if anything ever happened to him on the job which we both happily agreed to do.
“Hi,” I say to her, squeezing her tightly.
“Hi.” She takes a step away and looks up at me with a smile. She looks tired, almost worn down. She has the face of a nurse who’s seen a lot in her days.
“How are you doing?” I ask, knowing it’s a loaded question.
She shrugs. “This time of year is tough, but I manage. I’m grateful that work is keeping me busy. Keeps me distracted.”
“You know you can always call me if you need anything, right? Even if it’s a home cooked meal. I’m sure hospital food is less than healthy, which is ironic.”
This earns me a chuckle. “I know. I appreciate it.”
“How’s Coop doing? Really,” I stress, knowing that she’d cover up how her big brother is doing even though he’s my best friend.
She turns over her shoulder and looks towards the sounds of Coop and Carter talking in the kitchen before shrugging.
“He’s okay. I think Christmas is harder for him than it is for me. You know.”
“I do know.” I nod my head solemnly. Reaching out, I rest my hand on her arm. “You two always have a family in us, I hope you know that.”
“I know we do. Coop might not express it enough, but we’re really grateful for all of you.”
I pull her into another hug. “And we’re grateful for you.”