Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
C ecilia
I couldn’t look at my desk the same now. Every time I sat down behind it, I could see James’s muscular frame leaning over it, his one brown and one grey eye penetrating me like some twisted superpower that makes you bend to their will.
But I had a superpower of my own, and it concluded with putting up an impenetrable steel wall against tools like James Kingston, even if he was exceptionally gorgeous despite his arrogance.
It’s been a week since his little visit to my library, and I haven’t heard any complaints from Tobias about mine and his boss’s little tifts, so I figured the chaos has died down a little bit, which means I could begin snooping again.
I hoped James would have gotten busy over the past week and wouldn’t suspect my little visit to his shop in the city I was planning for tomorrow. He doesn’t personally work there, so how would he even know? Right?
I know. I know. I’m losing my mind.
A knocking pulls me from my thoughts, and I look up from my desk to see Lance standing on the other side. “You getting sleepy there, Lia?” he jokes.
“Oh…uhm…yeah. Sorry.”
“I just closed the computers, so we’re ready to get going,” he tells me. I glance at the clock, surprised it is already closing time.
“Oh my gosh, I didn’t realize it was that time already.”
“You seem like you’ve been elsewhere lately.”
“A little bit.”
“Does it have anything to do with your brother coming back around?”
I eye him warily but remain stoic. “Not really. It’s nice having him around. He’s changed.”
“For now,” he scoffs, and I feel a surge of annoyance filter through me. I try to push it down because I know Lance only speaks from experience. After all, Tobias has led me down the hopeful road and failed me every time. But… this time, it did feel different. Surprisingly enough, I wasn’t too worried about his addictions. It was what he was spending his time doing instead that was stressing me out.
“Let’s just get going,” I say, changing the subject. I follow him out of the library and turn around, locking the doors. We began walking down the sidewalk since we lived only three blocks from Stone Corridor, and we liked the walk home at night. It was peaceful and a nice way to wind down after working all day, even if it was getting uncomfortably cold at night now that we were shifting from summer to fall.
“So, you have anything in mind for dinner tonight?” he asks, side-eyeing me from his pace next to me.
“Something quick,” I tell him. “I have some errands I need to run early in the morning.”
“Oh yeah? What kind of errands?”
“Just…some stuff. It’s nothing.”
“Lia…” he dragged out my name, and I suddenly felt like a child, and I didn’t care much for that feeling. I was a grown woman, and I was allowed to have a personal life that he didn’t need to know every second of. Although I usually never cared before, so why do I care so much now? “You’re being evasive,” he speaks again. “You have been for days. I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me.”
I grumble, irritated with him and myself. I knew how annoying it was to be evasive because it was how James Kingston had been with me, and it made me want to flick him repeatedly in the nose until he gave me some useful information. But once again…I don’t owe Lance anything, even if he was my best friend.
“It’s personal, Lance,” I finally get the gull to say, except it comes out with a bite to my tone that I didn’t intend.
He blinks rapidly and focuses his gaze on his feet as we walk. “Kay got it.”
“I’m sorry,” I rush out. “It’s just…it’s personal. I need to have some things just for myself, you know?”
“I don’t. I didn’t think we hid things from each other.”
“Why does it have to be hiding something? Why can’t it just be that I have my life, and you have yours?”
We stopped outside our apartment building, and he turned to face me, his eyes searching mine like they were looking for an answer that he should be finding easily. “Is that what you want? Cause sometimes I thought there could be an our life in the future.”
His confession shocks me because although I wasn’t naive to think there wasn’t something between us, neither of us ever voiced it. We just simply always were.
“I…I don’t know,” I admit. He tears his gaze away like he’s surprised and hurt by my answer, and I step toward him, needing to close the distance and try and make whatever was happening with us better because I hated feeling like things were off between us. “You know I love you, but I don’t know how I feel about transitioning our relationship into something more.”
He looks down at me, clearly confused. “Have I imagined this thing between us the last couple of years? Am I pushing you into something you don’t want?”
“No,” I blurt out. “There has been something…I think…but I don’t know if I can explore that with you. It’s…scary because I know that if we did, I could never hurt you, and I’m scared of ruining everything.”
He breathes and finally meets my gaze with his softer one. “I don’t ever want to scare you, Lia. I’ve been afraid of the same thing.” I smile up at him, feeling my chest warm at his understanding. “Come on,” he tilts his head toward the front doors. “I think I have pizza bagels in the freezer if that’s quick enough for you.”
“Oh, pizza bagels are the bomb,” I snicker as I follow him into the building and up to his apartment. I don’t miss how he waits for me to go ahead and places his hand to hover at the small of my back as he leads me to the elevator. Or how he looks at me with so much love and patience from the opposite side of it.
I also don’t miss the way my legs shake, and it feels like my chest is going to cave in and suffocate me to death when I think about being something more with him.
I marveled at the city around me as people bustled through the streets. The smell of fresh coffee and pastries filled the crisp air. There was also an underlying smell of pure garbage because, let’s face it, this was the city.
The block was full of people on their way to work, and there was a magnificent cafe right next to Labyrinth Crystal’s storefront that made the entire block smell probably better than most in the city. I couldn’t help but stop in there for a coffee and a Danish before going into Labyrinth’s because it was so enticing. Now that I was sated, it was go time.
I pulled my sunglasses down over my eyes and fidget with my cardigan and long skirt, trying to appear fancier than I was because, let’s face it, a woman in a long floral skirt, thrifted cardigan, and dirty sneakers wasn’t exactly screaming I had money and could afford to buy something from this place. Still, it was the best I had, so here we go.
I walk through the doors and smile at the security guard who greets me. I quickly move past him, hoping to God that James hasn’t put my picture up on some do-not-allow store database.
I walk towards the first counter closest to me and gaze at the case full of necklaces with chunky crystals, which are ugly, in my opinion. Still, I didn’t consider myself a jewelry expert, so I’m sure my opinion meant nothing to most people who frequent the shop. I also didn’t care for jewelry in general. The only piece I ever wore was my teddy charm necklace that my mother gave me when I was ten. She knew I had a thing for teddy bears, but I was being made fun of at school for still liking toys my age, so I threw them all away while sobbing. The next day, she came home with my necklace. That way, I could always have a teddy.
The memory of her and all of the caring things she did for me that stopped after she died, care that I never regained from anyone else, never failed to create a knot in my throat and leave me with a longing so bone deep. It wasn’t hard to shove the feeling down like I usually do. It was deep enough to hide.
I finger the necklace at my throat as I look down at all the meaningless crystals shimmering back at me. Although they were insanely expensive, nothing in this store could compare to the value of the forty-dollar necklace around my neck.
I walk to a different case just as a woman approaches me from the opposite side.
“Hi, is there anything special I can help you shop for today?”
“Oh…Uh...I’m just looking,” I sputter.
“For you or someone else?” she asks.
“Myself, I guess.”
She looks me up and down, her eyes zeroing in on my necklace, and I cover my fingers over it, sure she will pass judgment, but she only smiles up at me. “I see you already have a lovely piece around your neck. How about some earrings?”
“Earrings. Yes, I think earrings could be good.” I’ve never worn earrings a day in my life. My hair was always too big and in the way for me to want to try, but I could pretend today that I would.
I follow her to the left side of the door, where she scans all the cases, looks up at me, and then back down. “Here,” she says softly, sliding open the glass door of one of the cases. “These seem to suit you.”
She handed me a small box, and I took the earrings from her, looking down at the small dangle teardrop earrings, which had little moss-green gems surrounded by clusters of crystals. They were sparkling and flashy yet incredibly minimal. Surprisingly, I liked them.
“Wow, these are beautiful,” I admit.
“They’ll offset your eyes and make them pop,” she gleams. I didn’t even realize she could see my eyes beneath my sunglasses, but I guess I wasn’t as inconspicuous as I thought.
I look up at her, smiling. “You’re an excellent saleswoman.”
“It’s not hard to be. If there’s one thing I know, it’s jewelry and women.” She says the last word with a flirtatious lilt, and I feel my cheeks heat because her eyes are roaming me up and down now.
“So anyways,” I rushed out, trying not to look her in the eye because I was sure now that she was flirting with me. She looked like a pretty Barbie doll, and I was scared that if I looked at her, then I’d unwillingly flirt back because she was nice and gorgeous, and I was a people pleaser. I bet we’d live a happy life together. Or was it her just doing her job? Is this how women make sales? I don’t know, but I am getting nervous and hot now.
“Is there anything else you know? I mean…how do you like working here?” I finally ask, trying to clear my head.
“It’s great,” she answers unfazed. “I love my job.”
“Is it a good company?”
“Why are you looking for a job?” she asks curiously.
“Uhm, yes” I stammer. “I am, and I was just curious what working for James Kingston was like.”
“Well, we don’t see him much, only occasionally. But he’s nice. Quiet.”
“Quiet, huh?” I wish he were quiet around me, but I seem to spark his testy side. “So, you think he’s a nice person then?”
“He seems to be.”
"So, you think nothing fishy about him, the other people working for him, or the company in general?”
She narrows her eyes at me and rears her head back a little, gazing at me in a new light like I was a crazy person, which…I was lately. “I’m not sure what you mean,” she says hesitantly.
I lean across the counter, and she takes a tiny step back. I realize I should stop while I’m ahead, but it’s like the logical part of my brain has decided to shut off and give me pure diarrhea of the mouth. “Like, do you think the company is ethical? Or have you noticed anything weird happening around here?” I ask, lowering my tone.
She blinks rapidly, and her forehead crinkles in dismay as she picks up the box of earrings from the counter. “Did you want to pay cash or credit for these?”
I lean up from the counter, looking down at them. “Oh, uhm…” They were gorgeous, truly, but there was no way I could afford them. “I’m not sure…” I feel a presence at my back and look over my shoulder to see the security guard standing over me.
“Ma’am,” he says, his voice incredibly deep, like a monster. “I’m going to need you to come with me.”
“What? Why?” I balk as anxiety begins to firework through me.
“Just come with me, please,” he states again.