Chapter 40
Chapter Forty
J ames
Flames touching the sky dance in my vision. Smoke begins billowing out of every crack and opening in the burning building.
The funny thing about being someone out of the mafia is that you’re never truly out. Even if you think you’ve cut all ties, there will always be at least one left. For me, it was Stef, who will always be my family whether I like it or not.
Stef’s maniacal smile blazes alongside the burning warehouse. We figured out that the warehouse we’re currently at belonged to Dante and that he was also recently there, having regular meetings with Chuck and Hodge, who have entirely joined forces with him.
My shit and Stef’s shit have now become a collective shit show.
Chuck was a problem for me, but he became a bigger problem by partnering with Dante, who was Stef’s problem since he was trying to take over the city right out from under Stef. One of the quicker ways for him to achieve that is to get any city politicians on his side, which he seemed to have done with Chuck.
So here we were, burning down one of their warehouses that held a shit ton of the weaponry they had stocked and hidden to make trades doing gunrunning. Stef makes large amounts of money doing the same, kind of like me with crystals, but Dante is trying to undermine his trades and steal clientele. The only way we knew this was, thankfully, said clientele, who is extremely loyal to the Luccio family, tipped us off. One of Dante’s biggest underestimations was the loyalty of other families to Luccio. He'd never found the same respect that Stef had earned, and it was already becoming one of his biggest downfalls.
“He’s going to retaliate big time after this,” I tell Stef as we get back inside his car and leave the warehouse.
“Let him. I’ll always come back tenfold. The Amato’s will never be as powerful as me and my family. It’s amusing he’s even trying.”
“That’s fine, but let’s not forget, I’m out of this scene as soon as we take care of Chuck and Hodge. I’m done.”
“Until the next thing, brother. Until the next thing,” Stef chimes.
I just shook my head because, as annoying as it was, he was probably right. Even without being family, our paths will always have a way of crossing.
“Whatever,” I sigh. “Just take me back to my apartment. I want to get back to Boston as soon as possible.” I needed to relax the rest of the day and wanted to get out of my head. I thought I’d surprise Cecilia at the library and wind down there for a little while. It also wouldn’t be horrible to remind her little friend of my place in her life. I didn’t like her being alone with him, even with Marco standing guard.
I can typically get a general idea of people when I meet them. Read them like a book, so to speak. Lance, on the other hand, keeps surprising me with his relentless urgency towards Cecilia. I didn’t like how often she’s had to express her disinterest in him. So, keeping up appearances around him felt like an excellent reminder of that.
“Back to your girlfriend, huh?” Stef muses.
I sigh irritably. “Of course, and don’t call her that. She’s much more than that.”
“God, you’re weird,” he laughs, shaking his head. “I never expected this side of you. I’m speechless.”
“If only you actually were,” I mumble.
He laughs obnoxiously. “Look at you making jokes now, too. You’re a far cry from the sad little London boy I picked up years ago. You make big brother so proud.”
I cringe at his mocking tone. “Please don’t refer to yourself that way.”
He makes a pouting face now. “Whatever, you’re no fun.”
I shake my head now but can’t help the smirk growing on my face. “I’ll never understand how you are who you are with the personality that you have.”
He grins with pride. “It’s called variety, brother. Try a little less brooding and get some.”
I sigh. “Can you just drive me home, please?”
A couple of hours later, I stride into Stone Corridor, casing the place for Cecilia. I stop short when I find her, keeping my distance so I don’t expose my presence yet. She was standing in the middle of the young adult section, holding a stack of books in one arm and using her other hand to play rock, paper, scissors with Marco. When she wins, she snickers and drops the stack of books into his hands. He reluctantly takes them and puts them away while she explains the difference between High Fae and your average faeries.
“It’s pretty much just a power thing. They rule the lands and might possess different or stronger abilities due to their higher rank in power and—” Her words die off when she sees me step forward, a smile slowly spreading over her features. My heart felt like it beat way too hard when I saw her smile at the sight of me. “James? What are you doing here?” She walks over to me, stands on the tips of her toes, and kisses me.
“I wanted to stop by and hang out for a bit. I needed to get out for a little while.”
She scrunches her nose up as she observes me. “I thought you had a meeting with Stefano earlier?”
“I did, hence why I need to get some air and relax.”
“Is everything okay?”
I now twirl her hair around my fingers, finding solace in the act. “Everything is fine, babe. I just like being near you.”
Marco clears his throat, now empty-handed. “I’ll go stand guard at the front door,” he announces before giving us space.
When he’s gone, I bring my attention back to her. “You and Marco seem to be getting along.”
She smiles again. “Yeah, he’s a big softie the more you get to know him. Did you know he has twin daughters? He said they’re starting to get into fantasy books, so I gave him some pointers.”
“I did know that. I do background checks on everyone I employ.”
She huffs. “Because you couldn’t possibly take a personal interest in the guy.”
I think for a moment. “We’ve had small talk here and there. He told me once his daughters knew how to shoot a 9mm. I thought that was impressive.”
She blinked at me once. “How old are they?”
“Fifteen, if I recall correctly.”
Her mouth softens into another smile. “So, you do care. You just don’t show it.”
I shrug, pulling a book from the shelf and looking it over to distract myself from the conversation. The cover has two children on it, one boy and one girl, riding a dragon into a tree house. A question plaguing me for weeks looms in my head, feeling suddenly heavier than ever.
“Can I ask you something, babe?”
She kneels on the floor, fiddling with some books on the bottom shelf. “Of course.”
The words feel foreign as I attempt to get them out of me. I almost choke at the feeling of it, but I force them out anyway. “Do you…Do you want children?”
Her hands pause their movements as she looks up at me from over her shoulder. “Whoa, heavy question.”
“Yes, well, it’s important to know. We haven’t exactly been careful.”
She rubs her hands down the front of her thighs as she stands now. “Uhm…well…I never thought about it before. I’m on the pill, and I trust you, so it’s never crossed my mind.”
“You’ve never had dreams of being a mother? Thought of what you’d name your children?”
She looks puzzled now. “No…actually. Now that you mention it, I don’t think I’ve ever desired it before. I’ve never given it much thought.”
“If you thought about it, do you think you would?”
She eyes me warily now. “Where is this coming from?”
I sigh, feeling a ton of bricks in my stomach. “I don’t think I want children. I’m not cut out for it. I’ve never had the desire for them.”
“Wow, I did not expect all of this today,” she mutters, wiping her hair anxiously away from her face.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” I beg. “I know this is probably not the time or place, but I need to know if this will break us.”
“Break us? James, I love you. Nothing is going to break us.” Her hand reaches for mine, and I practically snatch it, holding it against my chest.
“This kind of thing breaks a lot of couples.”
She smiles gently, and everything slows down a little bit. I feel like I can breathe. “Well, as naive as it feels to give a final answer on the matter since I’ve never thought about it… I don’t think I want kids either. I mean, I’m not totally against it, but I’m also perfectly happy not having them. Honestly, I’m not sure I am or ever will be mentally comfortable enough for them…and I think that’s okay. A bigger, more selfish part of me feels like I’ve been taking care of people my whole life. I want to be done, as bad as that sounds.”
My heart does the hard beating thing again.
I step closer to her, using the hand I held to drag her against me. “So…just us then?”
She trails her fingers into my hair, holding my face in her palm. “Just us,” she repeats. I lean down and kiss her, delighting in the small whimper that escapes the back of her throat. “James,” she groans. “I have work to do, and we can’t do this here.” She fully breaks apart from me now. “Lance is here, and I want to be respectful.”
I nearly growl in frustration. “Why when he never has been?”
“James…”
“Fine. I’ll be good for your sake. Give me something to do. I’ll help out around here.” Just then, Lance comes around the corner, spotting us two, and practically blows smoke out of his nose as he shakes his head and takes off again.
“I’m sorry,” Cecilia mutters. “He’s in a mood today because he doesn’t understand why Marco is always with me, and I can’t exactly tell him the truth.”
“When isn’t he?” I gripe. Honestly, I was about done with his dramatics. Maybe Tobias can have a word with him. It’d probably go over better than if I did.
Cecilia sighs. “Why don’t you just hang out at my desk and organize all the returned books by genre? It’ll make putting them away tonight quicker.”
I drop my mouth and kiss her again. “Don’t leave me alone long, babe. I get ancy.” She bites her lip and rolls her eyes, shoving me toward her desk.
An hour later, I’m flipping through a book that has some very suggestive…actually, it’s downright filth, and boy, does the author have a way with words. I kick back in the chair and prop my feet up on the corner of the desk just as Cecilia whizzes by and slaps them off.
“Did you finish organizing the books?”
“By genre and alphabetical order,” I chime, not taking my eyes off the book.
She stops behind me, resting her chin on my shoulder. “What are you reading?”
“I’m pretty sure it’s a romance about some rich guy and his maid, and she’s doing some…stimulating… things with her feather duster. It’s quite good.”
Cecilia giggles. “I cannot believe you’re reading that right now. But you’re right, it is a good book.”
I spin in the chair to face her. “You’ve read this?”
“Duh. Billionaire romance is a top five favorite of mine.”
“I’m starting to feel like this was your plan all along. Did you trap me to fulfill a little fantasy of yours?” I pull her into my lap and turn the book's page with my other hand. “Because if so, we should try the whole servicing me as part of your job duties. I mean, technically, I have been your employer.”
She wraps her arms around my neck as she gets comfy in my lap. “I think I could get down with that idea, even if it’s slightly demeaning, but I’ve come to accept there’s something wrong with me.”
I groan, dropping the book and filling my hands with her ass instead. “Join the club,” I murmur, kissing her.
A loud gasp startles us, and we break apart to find the culprit. A middle-aged woman clutches her chest as she stands a few feet from the desk, staring pointedly at Cecilia in my lap.
“Mrs. Reynolds,” Cecilia squeaks, scrambling from my lap. I let her go without issue because this was the library, after all, and this looked to be a now-traumatized customer.
“Cecilia, how inappropriate,” she scolds, causing me to stand defensively at Cecilia’s back.
“You’re right. I’m so sorry you had to see that. What uhm…what are you doing here?” Cecilia asks.
The woman takes on a more pleasant expression despite not acknowledging me yet. “I thought I’d drop by for a visit. I made those toffee chunk cookies you love,” she says, pulling a container from her giant tote bag over her shoulder.
Cecilia walks toward her and takes them, hugging her simultaneously. “Thank you. It’s so nice to see you. I’m sorry I had to miss Lance’s birthday dinner. My brother and I had some stuff going on.”
Lance? Why would this woman care about Lance? Unless…
The woman waves her hand, dismissing her apology. “Oh honey, that’s okay. I am so sorry to hear about your dad, by the way. How are you doing?”
Cecilia smiles solemnly. “I’m doing okay. I’ve been on my own for a long time.”
“You’ve got Lance, too,” she adds saccharinely. “He’s always been so protective and taken with you.”
“Yeah…” Cecilia draws out, and I notice her sudden discomfort as I watch the conversation unfold. “He’s a good friend,” she adds.
I clear my throat, making Cecilia jump, and the woman finally looks at me. “Oh, I’m sorry, this is James,” Cecilia finally mentions, walking back to me and looping her arm within mine. “My…boyfriend,” she adds awkwardly. I hated the terms boyfriend and girlfriend. They sounded too mundane for what I felt for her.
The woman’s gaze drops to our interlocked arms and then back to Cecilia only. “Yes,” she says, still never acknowledging me. “Lance mentioned you were having a little fall fling.”
What the hell is a fall fling?
Cecilia’s hand taps me as if she knows I am close to losing my cool, but I don’t accept her warning. “You must’ve heard wrong,” I speak up finally. “Not only has she moved in with me, but we plan on marrying. The way I love her completely surpasses anything in the vicinity of a fling.”
Cecilia’s head snapped to look at me, but I paid her no attention. The woman lets out an incredulous breath as she looks at me. “Are you calling my son a liar?” she challenges.
“Ah,” I call out in realization. “You’re the mother. Makes sense.”
She lifts her chin to me. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”
“You both have the same…delusional air about you.”
“James,” Cecilia interjects. “Let’s relax a little.”
“Well, Cecilia,” Lance’s mom turns back to her. “I would have expected, if not my son, then it would at least be someone respectful and noble.”
I laugh at the mention of nobility as Cecilia lets go of me and steps toward her. “With all due respect, Mrs. Reynolds, there’s no reason to be nasty. James has been more respectful to me in the last few weeks than Lance.”
“How dare you!” she spits out.
“Mom?” Lance calls out, finally noticing the chaos. “What are you doing here?” She tucks her purse further into her side and feigns an innocent expression. The change in demeanor made me want to throw the desk across the room, preferably in their direction.
“Well, you told me how things with Cecilia have been rocky lately, and I thought I’d come check in on things, maybe offer some guidance, but her little fling over here got testy with me and?—”
“Call me fling one more time,” I seethed. Cecilia touches my arm to relax me, but it only partly works.
“Okay, that’s not what happened,” Cecilia chimes in, looking at Lance. “Your mom was rude to James first.”
“They were being inappropriate at the desk. It unnerved me,” she replies.
Lance faces Cecilia. “What is he even doing here? Are you trying to rub it in my face that you chose him?”
Cecilia blanches, the hurt evident in her features. “I’m not trying to. I?—”
“That’s what it looked like to me,” Lance’s mom adds. “Honestly, Cecilia, you’re smarter than this. Slumming it with the likes of him.”
I look at Cecilia, who gives me an apologetic expression. “Does she not know who I am?”
Cecilia presses her lips together hard before answering. “I don’t think she cares.”
“Mom, come on. You’re causing a scene,” Lance cuts in.
“I don’t care,” she grouses, waving her arms now. “When my baby calls me with his heart broken, I’m going to come down here and do something about it.” Suddenly, it’s like her face takes on an evil expression, vile hate oozing out of her pores as she fixes her glare on Cecilia. “How could you do this? Lance opened his heart up to you, just for you to stomp on it. How could you lead him on this way?”
“You need to quit yelling in my library,” Cecilia grounds out, her tone thickening. I stand straighter at the sound of it, liking it way more than I should. “If you don’t act appropriately, I’ll…I’ll have Marco escort you out.”
She glances at Marco, straightening herself as he curls his hands into fists, watching her back. “Who is he?”
“Her bodyguard,” I tell her. “You know, since she’s slumming it.”
“Okay, everyone, relax,” Cecilia cuts in again. “Mrs. Reynolds, although this isn’t the place nor time to discuss this, I’m sorry I hurt Lance’s feelings. Maybe I did lead him on. I don’t know, but if I did, I didn’t mean to. But for the sake of argument, he didn’t start making his feelings clear until I was already becoming involved with James. I never wanted to hurt him, but I am in a serious relationship now. We love each other and now live together, so please, if you can’t respect that, then we have nothing left to talk about.”
Lance’s shocked expression bounces between Cecilia and me. “You guys live together?”
Cecilia wraps her arms around herself before nodding. “He asked me to move in, and I said yes.”
Lance sharply exhales as he nods at the floor, then turns to face his mom. “It’s time to go, Mom. You should have never come here like this.”
Mrs. Reynolds sucks in a breath, hugging her purse to her as she turns to Cecilia. “I want my cookies back.”
Cecilia presses her lips together to hold her laugh as she turns to her desk. I try to suppress my own as she grabs the box of cookies and hands them back to her. She snatches them from her and shoves them into her purse while taking a step closer to Cecilia and lowering her voice as she says, “I never thought you could do this to my Lance, but I guess you’re a little slut like the rest of the girls in the world.”
I drag Cecilia behind me now, stepping into Mrs. Reynolds's space and glaring down at her with the same venom she was exuding before turning to look at Lance. “You better get your mother before I really give you a reason to hate me.”
“Let's go, Mom,” Lance barks out. Thankfully, she listens and lets him push her out of the library.
I turn back to face Cecilia, who watches them go with a pained expression. “Are you okay?”
She continues to stare at them for a moment, then snaps out of it. “Yeah, I’m good. I just…I need a minute.” She flies past me then, barreling straight toward the women’s bathroom. I wait only one second before turning and following her in.
When I open the door, I see her hands braced on the sink. Her eyes meet mine in the mirror's reflection, and I see her tears fall. She quickly swipes them away. “I don’t know why I’m even crying,” she admits.
“Because you care about them.”
“I don’t know why anymore. They’ve been showing nothing but ugliness lately. Makes me wonder if this is who they’ve always been.”
“Well, I won’t argue that.”
She turns and faces me now. “I’m sorry for the things she said about you.”
I take her hands, kissing each one before dropping them again. “I don’t care about anyone’s opinion but yours.”
“How did I find someone who can handle all my drama?” she muses despite her plummeting mood.
“Your drama is nothing compared to mine, babe. Always remember that.”
She thinks on it for a moment, her smile perking up. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” She kisses me, making me press her onto the counter and devour her, but she softly pushes against my chest, breaking our kiss and looking up at me with curious eyes. “Did you mean that? That thing you said about getting married?” she asks hesitantly.
“Every word of it,” I answer.
“I…like the idea of that,” she stammers as I lean in to kiss her jaw and neck.
I can’t help the desperate growl that comes from me after her confession. “When is your shift over?”
“In an hour,” she breathes out as my hand trails up her inner thigh.
“Why don’t you cut out early and let me take you home,” I suggest, letting my mouth roam her neck she’s exposing for me. “I’ll bake you cookies if you still want them.”
She laughs as her fingers tangle into my hair, pulling a groan from me. “Do you even know how to bake?”
“No, but if you want cookies, I’ll make it happen.”
“And more of this?” she asks, looking up at me with wide doe eyes.
“Lots more of this,” I promise.
“I think…that is definitely one way to cheer me up.” She takes hold of my wrist and drags me out of the bathroom with an enthusiastic smirk. I follow her out, thinking of all the ways I plan to make good on my promise.