3. Piper #2
A small smile made its way onto my face. After a childhood like mine, I was grateful for how much Joey wanted to be around me.
“It’s an adjustment, but I like it here.”
“It’s been two days. One of which you didn’t call me for.”
I bit my lip. After going to the coffee shop, I knew I needed a night to myself. If Joey caught one hint of how anxious I’d been, he wouldn’t hesitate to come here.
“You know I just needed time. We can’t talk every day.”
“But I miss you,” he said.
“You have Mitch,” I reminded gently. “You know, the man you love?”
“Yes, I know. It’s not that. You’re just like a sister to me. Hell, you’re the one who introduced me to Mitch. I’m used to having you here.”
Joey loved talking to me so much.
I hated that I needed to leave.
“We’ll try to talk more,” I offered. “How about that?”
“Okay. Wanna tell me what you got up to yesterday? That therapist—”
“Scarlett,” I said.
“Right, Scarlett. She wanted you to try new things. Did you try anything?”
“I went to a coffee shop.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, it was . . . fine. I got coffee that was really good.”
“Oh.” Joey’s voice was quiet. “I guess that place is really good for you then.”
“Isn’t that a good thing?”
“Y-yeah. Of course it is.”
Another pang hit me at his quiet voice. I hated that he was hurting.
“I should sleep,” I said. “It’s been a long day.”
“Yeah. Get some rest. Maybe I’ll come visit soon.”
“Yes, please. Maybe we’ll find that spring together.”
“Or maybe they’re lying and have no springs at all.” He laughed. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
I said my goodbyes, but I couldn’t help but think about Joey’s sullen tone. I needed to do this, but this was hard. He missed me, and I simply couldn’t be in the town he lived in.
With a sigh, I sank deep into my bed. The night before, I’d fallen asleep almost immediately because I was so tired.
Tonight, I knew I had time to think.
During the day, I could distract myself from my loneliness. I either kept my nose buried in a book or I was too busy writing to think about it. But now, there was nothing but the present.
And where I was at mentally sucked.
Before my fear of touch manifested, I would spend my nights imagining someone was here with me. They would wrap me up in their arms and hold me tight, keeping me away from the storm that was my father.
I still had that dream, but it felt sadder now. I had my body pillow behind me as a makeshift person, and I’d do my best to pretend that I wasn’t alone.
But I was.
Taking a shaky breath, I tried to do what Scarlett had taught me. I tried to remind myself that I was doing the best I could, and one day, I wouldn’t be alone. I’d have someone with me.
In this moment, though, it felt like I was climbing a mountain with no gear. The peak was impossible to reach and falling was far easier.
I drifted off with the familiar weight of hopelessness on my chest.
All I could do was hope that tomorrow would be a better day.
The next morning, I glared at myself in the mirror.
“You’re gonna go to that coffee shop and be normal.” I pointed a finger at my reflection. Then what I was doing hit me. “And you won’t talk to yourself anymore. Either way, you’ve got this.”
After a firm nod, I put my hair into a ponytail and turned to my closet.
I refused to think too hard about leaving the house, so I focused on my outfit instead.
I tried to find something cute to wear even when I was only at home, but now that I was determined to get out more, I wanted to wear all the things I never had a chance to.
I pulled out a floral print skirt and a long-sleeved pink shirt. My legs would be exposed, but at least my arms would be safe. I looked the part of normalcy once I was dressed.
Hopefully I’d act the part too.
It was a beautiful spring day, and the sun was warming everything up for one of the first times this year. Yesterday had been slightly cooler, and I was happy to feel the new season setting in.
Strawberry Springs was picturesque in the spring with the brightly colored buildings and pots of flowers all around the square. Even the air smelled sweet.
When I reached the sidewalk, I took a moment to absorb the sight before walking into The Reserved Bean.
Theo was at the front again, and I paused at the door to take him in. His hair was still tussled, dark locks all over the place. His flannel sleeves were rolled up, once again revealing his tattoos and strong forearms.
Just like the last time I was here, my heart skipped a beat simply looking at him.
I shook it off and joined the line, but as I waited, my eyes followed his every movement. He spoke in short sentences with everyone, and I had a feeling he had a lot more thoughts than he shared. I wondered how I could get him to tell me everything.
Shaking the thought out of my head, I stepped to the front of the line.
“Hi,” I said. “I’m back.”
Theo glanced up at me. He paused for all of one second, eyes locked onto my face, and then he looked back at his register.
“Hey. What can I get you?” His voice was different today, and it sounded exactly like the one he’d used with everyone else.
For a second, I paused. Then I shook my head and continued on. We’d talked the last time, and I was determined to do the same today.
“Do you wanna guess again?”
“I remember what you got. Black coffee. Want that again?”
Theo didn’t even look at me now. The day before yesterday, I could’ve sworn he never stopped looking at me.
“Yes, please.”
An awkward silence settled over the two of us as he put the order in. Behind him, Kelsey looked up from her station and frowned.
So it wasn’t just me imagining it.
Theo and I had only talked once, but I found myself missing the tone he’d had before.
What made him change it?
Had I done something wrong?
I had a habit of reading everyone around me. I had to avoid making them upset in any shape, form, or fashion. It was like that when I lived with my father and it was like that right now too.
Theo wasn’t being unfair. He didn’t have to talk to me at all, but the previous time was different, and I didn’t know what had changed.
Fuck. I’d be thinking about this for a while.
I let the conversation die as I handed over my card. Once I had my coffee, I was tempted to leave and go back to my place, but I’d promised Scarlett I’d sit and write, so I made my way over to a table.
It was silly to be disappointed, but I was. I tried to put it out of my mind as I pulled my laptop from my bag and sipped on the coffee, but I was bothered.
After thirty minutes of staring at an empty document that was supposed to be my next novel, I was about to call it quits.
“Don’t take it personally,” a voice said. I immediately jumped in my seat. “Oh, sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.”
I slowly looked up, fighting the tension in every muscle. Kelsey stood at the edge of my table, hands raised in mock defense.
Oh, God. I needed to get it together.
“Sorry,” I said, faking a laugh. “What were you saying?”
“Theo being a terrible conversationalist.” She jerked her thumb in his direction. He was staring at the door.
“Am I that obvious?”
She shrugged. “A little, but it’s fine. I just don’t want you worrying about him.”
“He was very different last time.”
“Yeah, that was out of character for him.” She shook her head. “How he acted today is how he usually is.”
“So it wasn’t me.”
“No. Theo makes keeping his distance an art form. From everyone. A lot of people around here have tried to get close with him, and it never goes well.”
I nodded slowly. That was better than what I was thinking. “That helps to know. Thank you for telling me.”
“It’s no problem. The last thing I want you to feel is that you did something wrong. A few people already got onto him for talking to you—”
“Wait, why? He didn’t do anything wrong.”
“But he was nicer to you than anyone else. Around here, people talk about that kind of stuff. Theo doesn’t date or make close friends. He spoke with you more than anyone else in town.”
“Me?” I laugh. “I didn’t do anything.”
Kelsey winked. “I know. But like I said, it was out of character for him. Now he’s back in character. Sorry, girl.”
My cheeks heated. I loved the idea of him looking at me twice. But it would never go anywhere. Not with how I was about touch.
“It’s probably for the best.”
Kelsey nodded. “At least you’ll be joining all the other women in town. I think they’ve all looked at Theo once or twice.”
“Have you?”
“No. Not my type. If anything changed with him, I’d be cheering for you.”
My cheeks grew hotter, but I laughed. Kelsey gave me one last smile before walking away. I watched her go before my eyes slipped to Theo.
He still looked incredible, but I was used to watching from afar. If he didn’t want to get close to me, I could respect that.
But I could still look.
And maybe write a different ending for us.
For the first time in way too long, a light bulb went off in my head. I had an idea. For an actual book.
“Yes,” I whispered. “Finally.”
I looked back at the empty document with fresh eyes. Words finally flowed for the first time in far too long. Time meant nothing as I took the focus I got and ran with it.
At least something good had come of today.