21. Piper
PIPER
Strawberry Springs Neighborhood Watch
Jackie Anne: Vaginas, pads, tampons, menopause . . .
Okay, now that all the men are gone, I really need to figure out a mechanic to work on my car. Any of you ladies have a rec on someone who WON’T screw me over?
Comments:
Jade Clark: Oh this is genius . . . and I don’t. I drive out of town for my dad to look at it.
Kerry Winsor: Maybe I can actually be a help on this one. I have some serious DIRT on a guy two towns over. He owes me one, big time . . . so he always gives me a good deal. I can threaten him and make sure he treats you right!
Jade Clark: I don’t know whether to be impressed or terrified by the things you do, Kerry.
Kerry Winsor: Choose to be impressed. I need a win today.
My head sank to the table. First, I discovered that I couldn’t touch Grace in the library, and now this?
Was I regressing? Was I messing things up?
I wasn’t sure why I’d reacted like that. I’d been writing and then I saw a hand and bolted.
From Theo.
I couldn’t go back. I’d done so much work to get here.
Theo had handled it well, but I saw the shock on his face before he figured out what to do. It was so tempting to run and hide in my apartment. My thoughts were a dangerous mix of negative feelings and disappointment. I knew more than anything that I needed to try to untangle it all.
But I didn’t know where to start.
First, I needed to apologize to Theo. He was already in a bad mood and I’d just made it worse.
Waiting for the shop to close was like pulling teeth, especially because I couldn’t bring my focus back to my writing and Theo wouldn’t look at me.
I managed it by sheer will.
My bravery waned when he finally flipped the sign and closed the blinds. Usually, I would stand and walk right up to him, words dancing on the tip of my tongue.
This time, I had nothing.
Theo paused at the door and looked at the espresso machine that needed cleaning. Then he turned to me and walked over.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Not really. I can’t believe . . . I thought I was better.”
“You don’t have to be.”
“But it’s you. I swear I feel safe with you. I don’t know why I did that.” My desperation bled into my voice.
“Piper . . .” He trailed off, voice pinched. “Listen, I’m not surprised that I scared you. I wasn’t thinking, and I should’ve given you space.”
“No,” I nearly whined. “I don’t want that, I promise.”
“But—”
“Please don’t decide for me what I need.” My voice cracked, and I had to take a second to collect myself. “Don’t treat me differently because I messed up today.”
Theo’s eyes went wide. “I’m not trying to. I’m sorry. I’m not in a good headspace today.”
“Me either,” I said with a sigh. “And I have no idea what to do about it.”
He considered me for a long moment. “Just take a second. We both need to regroup. I’ll mop and we can talk.”
“Can I sweep and mop?” I offered. “Please?”
“Why the hell would you want to clean my floors?”
“I clean to distract myself. I’m good at it, I promise.”
“Absolutely not.”
“You haven’t even cleaned the espresso machine.” My bottom lip poked out. “Please, Theo? It’ll help me think.”
“Oh, don’t do that.”
I pouted harder, making my eyes as big as I could. “Do what?”
“Be so fucking cute.” He said the words like it pained him.
I paused. Did Theo Murf really just call me cute?
Holy shit. It was working.
I was definitely pouting harder. Putting my hands together, I stepped closer and fluttered my lashes. “Pleeaaassseeee? I’ll be good, I promise.”
He took a step back and bumped into a table. “Jesus Christ, Piper. Yes, you can.”
He ran a hand over his face, which was practically beet red. Normally, I’d feel bad, but I’d gotten what I wanted.
And that felt like a win.
“This feels wrong. I hope you know that.”
“Then why does it feel so good?” I laughed and turned the corner.
I didn’t get to hear his response, but I had a feeling he was grumbling just like he always did.
The broom was easy to find, and I went to the back corner to start. As I swept every inch of the shop, I tried not to fall back into despair. Bantering with Theo helped.
But the second I thought about earlier, it was back, and it hit hard.
I knew this would be a process. Conquering my aversion to touch wouldn’t happen overnight, but I hated that I jumped. I hated that I didn’t know it was him and still reacted this way.
“All done,” I said.
“You’re good at this,” Theo said as he wiped the counter.
“You won’t let this become a regular thing, will you?”
“Absolutely not. You’re still my customer.”
I wanted to laugh and tease him. Instead, I found nothing.
“About earlier . . .”
“Piper,” he said softly. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not you,” I replied quickly. “You have to know that, right?”
“It was me who scared you.”
“And I don’t know why.” I sighed and squeezed my eyes shut. “I did so well yesterday. When I came in here, I wanted to do it again.”
Theo finished the counter and washed his hands. When he was done, he came to stand in front of me. “Do you want to take time to recover?”
“I want to feel better.”
“You’ve made progress.”
“It doesn’t feel like it.”
Slowly, his hand lifted before stopping in front of me. “Does this scare you?”
I looked down at his outstretched hand, eyes tracing over where his tattoos began. “No.”
“So that’s progress. One step back doesn’t erase it.”
I raised my own hand, moving slowly, and let my palm rest against his. The touch sparked, and though I was nervous, it wasn’t like the panic earlier.
“Thank you,” I said softly. “I know you had a long day, and this is probably the last thing you need to be dealing with.”
“I’m fine.”
I dragged my eyes up to his. “You’re not. Something’s bothering you.”
His lips pressed together and I watched him struggle with what to say.
“Was it me?” I asked after a long moment.
Theo’s eyes widened as if he’d been caught. “N-no.”
“So, it was me. Did I do something?” I pulled my hand away from his. “Is touching you too much?”
“No.” He rushed to say it. “It’s not that. It’s me. It’s all on me.”
“In what way?”
He rubbed the back of his neck and didn’t answer.
“I’m not gonna judge you, Theo. I mean, look at me, I’m twenty-four and I can’t touch people. What could you possibly have done?”
“It’s . . . not great.”
“Do you trust me?”
“I do.”
“Then tell me. Please.”
“You really don’t want to hear this.”
“Don’t make me pout again.”
“Ah, shit. I knew I shouldn’t have given in earlier.”
“Give in again.” I crossed my arms and waited for him to answer.
He sighed, his shoulders sinking. “I . . . enjoy the touch. Too much.”
I blinked. “How is that a problem?”
“Don’t make me say it.”
I frowned, trying to make sense of his words and why he would be so embarrassed. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. “Wait, did you jerk off to me?”
“Oh, God.”
“Wait, that’s so awesome.”
“Awesome? That’s your reaction?”
I nodded. I’d been so miserable today, but this made me light up. “It’s a compliment. Did you think of me? Did you like it?”
“Do you think I’d be this embarrassed if I didn’t like it?”
His face was a tomato.
It was the cutest thing I’d ever seen.
“It would be worse if I were a boner killer. As a romance author, I love it when I make things hard.”
“I regret telling you. You’ll never let me live this down.”
It was so tempting to keep embarrassing him, but I didn’t want him to explode.
“Theo, it’s fine. I’m not upset, nor am I insulted. Is that really what you were feeling bad about?”
“It’s inappropriate.”
“It was just a thought. If I were to apologize to the people I’d thought of, I’d have to make a very long apology to some very odd people.”
“I don’t think I wanna know.”
“You don’t. You might actually explode.” I laughed. “Now, do you feel better?”
“I feel mortified, but yes. What about you?”
“I’m mortified too, but not about you jacking off to me. You’re welcome to do that anytime.”
“I hate you.”
“No you don’t.” I tilted my head to the side. “So, are we okay?”
“We’re more than okay, Piper.”
A slow smile crossed my face and I felt like things were popping right into place.
Then I knew I had to ruin the moment.
“So, are you gonna jerk off to me again?”
Theo groaned and his head fell back. I stared at his neck. Since when could something so innocent be so hot? “Don’t.”
“Sorry.”
“No, you’re not.”