33. The Story So Far
~ GRACE ~
“I’ll beg your forgiveness, Lady Grace,” Donavyn said gruffly, but with a half-smile, as we hurried through the hallways and up the stairs of the very large, but very plain administration building, heading for his office. “I need to speak with my men. I’m sure Bren will keep you company.”
“Of course!” Bren said, smiling at me, and squeezing my arm again.
It was so nice to see her—and such a relief that she was pleased to see me.
I hadn’t admitted it to Voski, but I’d had some worry that she’d only pretended to like me in Fyrehold because I was noble and she was among nobles, feeling out of place.
I had sensed there was more to her story than I’d heard, and sometimes wondered if she’d deceived me.
But she seemed as excited to see me as I was to see her. And her welcome had been so joyful. After all Voski’s anger and accusations, it was a balm. Her sweet friendship brought tears to my eyes.
I was tired, that was all. I just needed to rest. Then I’d stop feeling so emotional and erratic.
“We won’t be long,” Donavyn assured Bren as we slowed at a door and he opened it, tipping his head to the men to walk inside.
He let his eyes linger on Bren for a moment, then smiled at me.
I remembered how sweetly he’d danced with me the night in Fyrehold when I was sad at a ball, and the advice he’d offered to help me draw attention from some of the heirs.
Strange how quickly things changed. The thought of enticing one of those men now turned my stomach.
I caught myself watching Voski stride through the open door into the room, muttering to Ronen as they disappeared inside.
But he didn’t look back. Donavyn entered on their heels and said something abrupt in a low gravel as he closed the door behind himself.
Then there was no more sound or sign of the men.
I blew out a breath, then swallowed hard, that hollow in my chest aching, though I wasn’t sure why.
“You must be exhausted!” Bren said, tugging me to a low bench that sat against the wall just outside the office door. “Sit down. Tell me everything!”
“There’s not much to tell, honestly,” I said.
“But I’ll share what I know. Then, can you tell me what’s happening?
You and Voski both spoke about an acknowledgement, but you make it sound like something formal, where Voski just mentioned it as if it were tradition.
I don’t want to say or do the wrong thing, and Koa can’t help.
I didn’t know the dragons would fly away and I feel strange with her gone even though she can’t explain, and—”
“Of course, of course,” Bren laughed, sinking onto the bench and patting it for me to join her.
“I’ll tell you everything! I remember how confusing it all was.
I just can’t believe you’re here! I wished…
well, I never imagined that it was anything but a dream.
But I’m so glad, Grace. I missed you when I left.
I planned to ask the queen if she knew your father so I could send a message.
But now I don’t have to. So, tell me how this happened! ”
Her eyes were bright, and she leaned forward, eagerly.
Which was when it hit me that we had both hidden truths from each other. Where should I start?
I took a deep breath and took one of her hands. “Well, the first thing is to say, I liked you a great deal, as well. And the things I didn’t tell you were only because I was very frightened and… I hope that we can share all of the truth with each other now and continue to be friends from there.”
Bren’s expression saddened a little and she nodded. “Yes, I want that too. Why don’t you start, and then I’ll tell you mine?”
I nodded, and swallowed, then launched into the story from the years of my childhood, my noble birth, the expectation, and how my parents had signed a marriage contract. I explained how I’d developed skills in stealth, been worried about her, and followed Voski.
Bren’s eyes widened at that, but I assured her that I never wanted to go back to Fyrehold.
“I’m with Koa now,” I said, smiling with pride as I thought of my dragon, touching my chest where I could feel her joy.
“This is my life now. Or, it will be. You must tell me everything, Bren. I’ll do anything that’s needed.
I want to be here. I want to stay here. I want to make this my home. With my dragon. And never leave.”
I was babbling, but Bren smiled and nodded and squeezed my hand. “I understand, Grace,” she said kindly. “And you’re going to do great here. I’m sure of it!”
“…It’s exciting that you already have some skill,” she said later, kindly brushing aside all the ways I’d obscured the truth from her while we were in Fyrehold.
“That will help you. And Koa will be able to help. The dragons have accepted her, which means they’ll also acknowledge you.
She can help you understand your place as she takes hers.
And the officers will decide which squad you belong in.
Then you’ll meet your squad brothers and have your first flight and—wait, you’ve already flown! Did you ride Koa?”
“No,” I said sadly. “We didn’t have a harness, and I kept falling off when we landed.”
“Don’t worry about that. We all do that.
And it’s harder for you and me because we aren’t as strong as the men,” Bren confided.
“But I can help you adjust your harness so it’s easier to tack her up—I had to do that for Akhane’s.
And even if you aren’t in my squad, I can help you.
Sometimes the brothers get a little blind and don’t understand that we need to do things differently.
I won’t let them forget that for you. And Donavyn’s very aware, don’t worry. ”
My head spun, but my heart swelled with warmth and gratitude. I wanted to cry—I really needed sleep. I swallowed the pinch back and squeezed her hand.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” I said, my voice hitching. Bren leaned forward and hugged me again.
“I’m more glad. I’m not the only woman now!” she said with a soft laugh. “And Diaan—the queen—is making sure other women know they’ll be accepted and respected if they want to work with the dragons. The men are still skeptical, of course. But they can hardly argue with the queen.”
That part was shocking to me. The king had passed away—the most powerful ruler in the territories!
It had happened while we were stuck in Koa’s heat and Fyrehold hadn’t heard yet when Voski visited the castle.
With no heir for succession, I was stunned that Vosgaarde hadn’t devolved into civil war.
Queen Diaan ‘en del Rea must be a formidable woman.
If the Fyrehold king had passed, our kingdom would have been at war within hours.
“…I’m sorry, I’m going on and on about this. I’m sure you’re exhausted. I’ll try not to jump too far ahead.”
“No, please,” I assured her. “I want to hear all of it. I am tired—I was, from all the flying—but right now I feel like I could fly for another week!”
Bren laughed. “I’m glad to hear that. And it’s really good that you’ve already had practice and training in flight. That will help you a lot. I’m sure you’ll pass your flight assessment far more quickly than I did.”
“Assessment?”
Bren took a deep breath and I saw shadows flicker in her eyes.
“Yes, every Flameborne has to pass a flight assessment before you can fly alone and begin to train for the trials. You have to be able to tack up, mount, launch, fly in formation, and land without help. Until you can do that, you aren’t allowed to fly solo, or train for more complicated duties.
But don’t worry, your squad will help you, and so will I. We’ll get you there quickly.”
I nodded. Voski had described those steps to me as well, though more as a warning not to get cocky, because I still had a long way to go before I could even fly solo, let alone train.
“And don’t worry about the trials. You’ll have as much time to train as you need. But, oh. We’ll have to figure out a place to bed you. You can’t sleep in the barracks with the men.”
My head jerked back. I hadn’t even considered. A barracks?
“Do they not have rooms? I can learn to keep a room and—”
“No, no,” Bren laughed, her eyes widening. “The men sleep in large rooms, all together. They share sleeping and bathing quarters. Trust me, we’ll find you a place that’s private.”
“Well, I’ve just spent a week sleeping on the ground. I suppose I could sleep anywhere. I was really looking forward to a bath, though.” My body ached at the thought.
Bren grimaced. “Yes, we’ll figure it out. Don’t worry. I’ll talk to the healers and… Grace have you ever had to bathe outside?”
“When I wasn’t traveling?”
My shock was interrupted by the distant scream of a dragon—and a rush of joy in my chest.
Koa.
She still wasn’t using words, but there was a flicker in my head of her flying alongside Kham, among dozens of dragons, all of them calling and singing. And she was so happy.
She might not have used words to describe it, but her images were accompanied by a feeling that simultaneously thrilled and saddened me.
She belonged. She was welcomed. She was embraced as a part of something bigger than herself, and it brought her purpose.
I had to take a deep breath to swallow the tears that wanted to rise.
Bren didn’t notice. She’d turned toward a window at the end of the hallway and tipped her head as if she was listening. “The dragons?”
“Yes.” I cleared my throat.
“Is your dragon feeling calm now? Is she telling you what’s happening? Do you understand how the herd works?”
“Yes, and no,” I smiled. “Koa is a dear heart. But she was wild. She didn’t communicate much with humans, so her language is limited.”
“Oh! I hadn’t thought about that.”
“I’m not worried. I like the way she talks. And the sensations she sends, I feel them. So I know she’s happy. I just don’t always understand what she’s trying to tell me when things are moving quickly and she can’t find the words.”
Bren frowned. “She bonded with Kham—Voski’s dragon?”
“Yes.”
“Oh. So, you and Voski—?”
I leaned back, shaking my head. “No. No. Please don’t… no, Bren. It’s not—”
She looked up and down the hallway, then leaned closer. “You don’t need to hide it. The Furyknights are still learning about how the bonds work differently with women, but they’ve accepted Donavyn and me. And he’s won’t make anyone else have to hide like we did—”
“No, Bren, please!” I rushed, grabbing her hands. “Don’t—it was difficult between us when the dragons mated, but we managed. Why? Do riders usually give in to that?”
Bren went still, staring at me. Her brow furrowed. “You didn’t… I mean… you two aren’t—”
The sound of heavy, booted feet on the stairs at the end of the hallway echoed and she broke off, turning to look, then standing straight up and saluting as a group of men marched toward us.
“The captains, and some of the other officers,” she whispered through her teeth. I tried to mimic her stance, but she squeezed my arm. “Just be polite. You aren’t sworn in yet.”
But I didn’t know what to do with myself, so I just stood there and kept my eyes down as I would have for a member of the court who outranked me, curtseying when the men—mature, hardened, intimidating men, all dressed in the same dark leather and foreboding expressions—passed in a cluster.
The men nodded to accept Bren’s salute, eyed me warily, then knocked on the door and awaited the command to enter. All while Bren stood at attention, and didn’t move until they’d disappeared inside.