35. Keep Your Place
~ VOSKI ~
Ronen’s expression didn’t change as, behind him, Donavyn began to outline to the high ranking officers how they’d relay this decision to the wing leaders. Those men would usually be given a choice and allowed to vie for any new Flameborne that arrived in the Keep.
“…I doubt we’ll have too much resistance. Their dragon’s matebond alone makes it a clear choice. In fact, if she weren’t female, no one would even remark on it.”
“But she is.” The words just tipped off my tongue.
Ronen’s eyes darkened with anger at my presumption to speak after I’d been dismissed, while every other man in the room turned to look at me. Some shocked, some offended.
“Forgive me,” I said as humbly as I could. “But she is female, and that does change what’s needed, both for her, and for the squad.”
Donavyn folded his arms and raised one brow. “Your dragons are bonded. There’s no choice to be made.”
“Your dragons are bonded and Akhane still runs patrols—”
“That’s enough, Voski,” Ronen said starkly. “You and I will discuss this later. This isn’t the place—”
“These are the men who will make that decision, and none of you have dealt with her. I have. And I’m not exaggerating when I say she’s reckless!
She’s bold, and fearless, and na?ve. She’s a noblewoman—she thinks this is an adventure.
She has no true understanding of the menial work, or consequences of selfishness.
Whoever leads her will have to watch over her like a child at first, just to make certain she doesn’t harm herself or others purely out of ignorance. ”
“Voski, you’re speaking out of turn, and without authority. The decision is out of your hands, and you were dismissed. I don’t want to discipline a man who’s just returned from exemplary service, but I will,” Ronen warned me quietly—and very sharply.
They all stared, and I felt it. The shift.
I’d just been on mission. In control of my decisions. Making judgments for the entire nation—and trusted to do so. But now? Here? In this room and out of it, when I was at the Keep, I was nothing but a Furyknight. A member of a squad. And definitely not an officer.
And yet, they all knew. Every man in this room knew that my rank matched Ronen’s when I was sent on mission. And in circumstances of even greater consequence, at times.
Yet they all glared, because technically, I was out of line.
I needed to follow. I knew that. But this was the consistent struggle of returning from a Shadowfang mission—where we were required to think for ourselves and function independently.
Coming home was rest, and safety, and routine…
and loss of autonomy, and forced humility, and frustration.
“Son, it’s time to go,” Donavyn said, surprisingly gently.
“I can tell you from experience, no matter how it may feel now, you and your dragon will ultimately be glad to have Kham’s mate and her rider close.
The times we’ve kept pairs apart, we’ve always ended up uniting them eventually, because they can’t truly settle without each other.
And in this case, both of them will be even more unsettled than usual.
Combine that with the fact that Ronen has already trained a female—as have you, and with excellent results—” he added more kindly than I deserved.
“This the wisest choice. Take a few moments outside to think and accommodate that. Now.”
They all stared, and though my will shrieked, and my fear rose on wings, I nodded, murmured an apology to all of them, then turned and slipped out of the door.
I knew it was no accident that no one spoke again until I was outside.
But the moment I closed the heavy door behind me, Bren and Grace turned from their seats on the bench in the hall, staring at me with expectant eyes.
My skin smarted. But the ache in my chest eased when my eyes met Grace’s.
“Welcome to the squad, Grace,” I croaked. “You two are sisters now.”
Grace’s mouth dropped open as Bren whipped around in her seat and threw her arms around Grace’s neck, squealing.
Panic hammered in my chest and sent my heart into my throat.
No.
No.
I couldn’t have her there, under my nose at every turn. Smiling and laughing and—
Both the girls jumped to their feet and hurried to me, Bren leading the charge. “Did they actually say that? Or is it just what they’re thinking? They haven’t talked to the wing leaders yet—”
She babbled on, barely giving me time to respond. Which was a relief, because my head was empty apart from the shrieking alarm.
But when she finally took a breath, I made myself be honest.
“Our dragons are mates,” I said through numb lips, avoiding Grace’s wide eyes that bored holes in the side of my face. “They shouldn’t be separated. And since we’ve already trained you, Bren, and you attained rank, they want to give her the best chance—”
“Oh, thank you!” Grace said, covering her mouth with both hands. Her eyes welled up.
Shit.
Shit!
I backed away from both of them. “Don’t thank me. It wasn’t my decision.”
I regretted the words the moment they were out. They’d sounded sharp and angry. Grace blinked and Bren hissed my name.
“Voski! What is wrong with you?”
But before I could answer—thank God—the door opened and the men began to file out.
Bren and I jumped to attention, putting our backs to the wall and saluting as the captains exited first, followed by their sergeants.
Most of them shot me a dark look, or ignored me completely, and Bren noticed. But we couldn’t speak.
The last two to exit were Donavyn and Ronen, in quiet conversation, their expressions solemn. I stayed at attention and braced for the onslaught the moment Donavyn was out of earshot.
“Send someone to notify the wing leaders that there won’t be need for a selection on account of the dragon bond. Make that very clear—I don’t want any stories about favoritism, or rumors about her receiving special treatment.”
“Yes, sir. I’ll do that right away.”
“We’ll work on the accommodations and the equipment. You arrange the Acknowledgement. With so much uncertainty, we won’t have a big crowd tomorrow, but we aren’t ignoring the traditions.”
“Agreed.”
Donavyn turned to look at Bren. “Can you take our new Flameborne to the Quartermaster—you understand what she needs better than anyone—while Ronen works on where we’ll house her?”
“Of course,” Bren said breathlessly. “So, it’s true? Grace will be in our squad?”
Donavyn smiled and nodded. “The Creator made the decision for us—the dragons shouldn’t be separated, and all our relevant assets are there. You two are about to be named squad sisters.”
Bren and Grace leaped at each other again and I dropped my face into my hands, trying to breathe to slow my heart.
She would be everywhere.
Ronen saluted Donavyn, then turned and lifted his chin to the women, smiling at Grace.
“Welcome to the squad, Grace. Bren can explain the Acknowledgement. We’ll hold it tomorrow.
One of us will find you in the morning.” Then he turned to leave.
But as he did so, he caught my elbow and dragged me with him, leaning in and keeping his voice low, and calm, because he was furious, but didn’t want to be heard over Donavyn congratulating Grace and discussing details with Bren a few paces away.
“You’ve just had a very harrowing mission, and no doubt, are lacking in sleep as well as good sense, so I’m going to overlook this one time.
But if you ever speak out of turn to superior officers again, so help me, Voski, I will officially discipline you.
No matter your role elsewhere,” he said with a glance over his shoulder to make sure we weren’t overheard, “No matter what we are trusted with, we retain rank. And no matter our rank, we humble ourselves when necessary. Do you understand me?”
“Yes. Of course. I know. I just—”
“Good. Then you have one more task before you rest. You’re going to find the wing leaders and make sure every one of them knows that Grace is being placed in our squad, and why.
And you’re going to sell it. If even one of them comes to me with concerns that you might be resistant to that plan, you’re not on patrol next week, you’re on cesspit duty. ”
Oh, shit. Literally, if I wasn’t careful.
I gritted my teeth to stop the stream of protests that wanted to rise because he was my superior officer everywhere but on mission, and I’d only get myself in trouble.
“Yes, sir,” I conceded through my teeth.
He nodded once, and I thought he’d leave me. But he hesitated, and even though his jaw was tight, the fire went out of his eyes. “I don’t know what happened out there. But if you need to talk—”
“No. I’m just tired. I’ll get it under control.”
“Voski—”
“I heard you. I just need time alone. I haven’t been alone for days. That’s all.”
Ronen knew about my solitude. Knew that Gil and I both often needed time to decompress after we returned from a mission. So, though his expression remained wary, he nodded.
“Take the time. Like Donavyn said, you aren’t rostered on patrol until Firstday. So, rest.”
I nodded, swallowing hard. “Thank you.” Relief slumped my shoulders, until he clapped me on the arm and gave a grim smile. “Except for tomorrow. Tomorrow you’ve got an Acknowledgement to attend. And since Gil is gone, you’re flying the net with me.”
My jaw dropped. “I… but—”
Ronen winked—prick!—then turned on his heel and with a quick nod to Bren and Donavyn, started down the hallway, leaving me there, gaping at his back like a disappointed child.
Well, fuck!
She’s going to be everywhere.
Despair, panic, irrational rage flooded through me.
I turned abruptly, saluted Donavyn a final time, then marched down the hallway after Ronen, praying I could keep my steps at a normal pace until I was out from under their eyes.