47. Confusing Males
~ GRACE ~
My hands trembled and my voice shook as I walked the path with Bren and the brothers.
I stumbled once or twice, mostly because I was so busy looking aside, and up, and behind to find my brothers, that I forgot to watch my feet.
But there was always someone there to catch my elbow or offer a steadying hand until I recovered.
As we walked toward the Keep, and it became clear that they weren’t just telling me I’d flown well, but that they were truly pleased with my performance, I could breathe a little easier. Though the trembling didn’t stop. And something in my chest kept pulling me back, toward the dragons. I sighed.
I was relieved to have two feet on the ground.
While I’d adored the flying, that fall had stolen a year of my life. If it hadn’t been for Koa’s quick thinking, I would have failed. Plunged to my death. I’d have nightmares about it, I was certain. And yet, I didn’t regret it.
As I looked at the strapping men around me, listened to the cries of dragons echo behind and above us, and leaned into Bren’s warm clasp, I’d never been happier.
I couldn’t stop staring at them all. They were so different from the men I knew, whose power came in their ability to control other men, through wealth, or position. By contrast, the Furyknight men were confident and strong, certain of their ability to overcome any obstacle necessary.
They were coarse, and common, and thrilling.
And apparently obsessed with Harle’s first flight in which he soiled his trousers in fear.
After that plummet, I found I didn’t have any humor for the thought. I wished I could reassure him. But as irritated as he was—biting and snapping at his brothers whenever they poked at him with words—he also smiled and laughed.
I wanted that. I wanted this. Men and women around me, who knew me at my worst, and laughed in the face of it. Who put their lives at risk to save each other. Who challenged each other. And held each other close.
It was instinct to look over my shoulder and lean, looking for the last of the faces—Voski.
He walked behind the rest, several feet back, his whip-strong body swathed in black leather, head down, black hair dangling and covering his eyes.
It was a posture that should have seemed lacking in confidence.
Yet, his strides were strong, and confident, and savagely elegant.
As if every inch of his body were held in check, lest he unleash something dangerous.
My heart trilled and my breath stopped.
His head snapped up, eyes dark and searching—locking on mine for a split second, then darting away.
My heart sank into the pit of my stomach.
And when he didn’t look up again, I turned back to respond to something kind Bren said.
I tried to forget that he was there, to remind myself that he’d cared when he thought I was hurt. And that Ronen had said I’d flown well and earned my place.
But I couldn’t shake the niggling fear that he so despised my presence here, he would find a reason to convince them to remove me from this squad.
I prayed it wasn’t so.
“…Koa is a powerhouse—you better watch out, Voski. She might steal Kham’s balls before too long.”
“Kham’s balls will remain firmly in place, though the same won’t be said for yours if you suggest otherwise to him,” Voski drawled from the other end of the table.
I grinned. I knew Koa was desperately in love with Kham, and admired him greatly.
She often talked haltingly about the mate, and sent me images or memories of Kham with Voski, and while she didn’t seem to have the words, I was pretty certain she was showing him off—reminding me of his strength and beauty.
And I couldn’t disagree. The gold-scaled male was stunning to look at and, according to Koa, very kind and loving.
I couldn’t help wondering why he’d chosen Voski, who seemed so sour.
Perhaps the light gleaming on his scales was supposed to brighten Voski’s dark countenance?
I was glad Voski spoke, because it gave me a reason to look at him without being obvious. He made the comment without looking up at his brothers, then stabbed at a green vegetable on his plate and shoved it into his mouth, chewing without a smile.
“Well, if our Grace was Chosen by a female of Koa’s strength, I think we can look forward to even greater things from both of them,” Ronen said, with a smile at me. “Perhaps take things a little slower the next few weeks, Grace. Otherwise, we’ll struggle to keep up.”
I giggled. I still couldn’t quite understand how falling had impressed them, but I was glad it was so.
But as I laughed and scanned the table, I caught the dark gaze of Voski, staring at me through strands of black hair, his eyes as black as his leathers.
I closed my mouth with a snap and quickly scooped up a forkful of potatoes, hunching, waiting for him to tell the others something I’d done wrong, or some way that I’d embarrassed myself so they wouldn’t think I could make a good Furyknight.
But he didn’t speak.
“Grace?” Bren murmured. I looked at her. She sat next to me, frowning.
“Yes?”
Her brows pinched and she turned back to Voski, opening her mouth, but before she could speak, he leaped to his feet, picking up his empty plate and pushing his chair back to squeeze out from between his brothers.
“I need to get Kham unharnessed and resting. We’ve had a lot of travel lately and we’ve only got a couple of days until we’re on patrol.”
A chorus of boos and teasing jabs rose from the men, but Bren just frowned at him, and Ronen stayed quiet.
“Congratulations, Grace. You did well today.” His voice was flat and he didn’t look at me as he passed behind his brothers’ chairs on the other side of the table.
“Th-thank you,” I said.
The men called after him, and someone threw a green bean that hit him in the head. He hunched, but didn’t turn on them, which surprised me. Just took his plate to the cleaning station, then strode out of the dining hall.
I wasn’t aware that I watched him until I heard his name murmured to my left.
Bren. Muttering to Ronen.
I didn’t catch what she’d said, but Ronen’s jaw was tight. He nodded, then shook his head when she leaned closer.
“Everyone is different. He needs space. Give it to him. That’s an order.”
Bren sat back, sighing, but she didn’t argue.
By the time we’d finished eating, my chest ached horribly, as if the muscles behind my ribs pulled away from the bone.
The men all had responsibilities, or plans, so we farewelled outside the dining hall. Bren stayed with me, but I caught her glance over her shoulder and would have gambled coin that she was looking in the direction of Donavyn.
“Thank you,” I said to her, squeezing her hand. “Your tip about how to stand on the net was very helpful.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you anything ahead of time. It’s all supposed to be a surprise.”
I shrugged. I didn’t mind. I’d enjoyed it.
Well, except the part where I almost died.
Bren accompanied me back to the stable to unharness Koa—a much easier prospect than the harnessing, thank goodness. And then, when I’d carried it back to the tack room, I caught her looking at the doors again.
“Go. Truly Bren. I’m exhausted. I’m going to talk to Koa and sleep before training tomorrow.”
Bren smiled at me. “You’re a good woman, Grace. I’m so glad you’re here—and my sister.”
I almost cried when she hugged me. Then I shooed her out of the room, and wandered back to the stable.
Koa was resting in the straw, and I almost joined her. But I desperately needed to get clean, and even though Bren had offered their bathing room, from the way she’d been looking, I wondered if she and Donavyn might need some time alone.
I found that I, too, wanted to be alone.
So, I mounted the ladder into my loft to gather the clean set of clothing, and a washcloth and soap Bren had given me the day before.
There were ponds and lakes nearby—Koa had shown me images. I would go looking for a private one where I could wash hurriedly, and maybe shake off the ache in my chest enough to sleep for a couple of hours before dinner.