53. Hiding
SOUNDTRACK: Behind the Door by JFTheArtist
~ VOSKI ~
I was a fucking coward. Once I was dressed and had my things, I’d intended to head out.
But Grace and Gil stood at the intersection of aisles, and I didn’t want to walk past them, or have Gil call me back if he saw me sneaking out.
I figured they wouldn’t talk long. So, I busied myself for a few minutes refilling Kham’s water trough, and raking out some of the soiled straw.
Usually the stableboys would do that, but it gave me a reason to be in an empty stable.
A short time later, I was almost finished and began raking the straw into a pile out the door, surreptitiously checking the aisle to make sure they’d moved on.
But I should have known. The boots ringing on the stone floor in the early-morning quiet were Gil’s. Marching toward me.
The only relief was that he hadn’t brought Grace with him.
I was just about finished when he reached my shoulder. Without a word he caught my arm and yanked me into the stable.
A bolt of panic shot through my chest and I whirled, breaking his grip and turning on the balls of my feet, before I caught myself, to find Gil staring, his head tipped and one brow arched.
“You knew it was me,” he growled, yanked the rake out of my hand, tossed it to the pile of straw, then shoved me into the stable in front of him. “What the hell is going on with you?”
I scowled at him. “It’s reflex—and don’t try to tell me your training’s never kicked in when someone touched you suddenly. You know better.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about,” he muttered, standing at my toes. “What the hell is going on with you and Grace?”
“Nothing!” That, at least, was true. “I’m trying to avoid her!”
“Is that before or after convincing her you make the call on whether her training progresses?”
“What? I never said—”
“She ran out of here, panicking, because she’s convinced if you get angry enough, you talk to someone and stop her reaching assessment. Now, I get that you’ve had a rough couple of weeks, bro. But what the actual fuck?”
“I didn’t tell her that!”
“Well, clearly you haven’t reassured her either!”
“I have! I just told her yesterday—again—that I was sure she would attain rank!”
“Then why was she running out of here, nearly in tears, convinced if she played a trick on you with me, that you’d stop her advancing?”
“I don’t know! She’s a fucking noble. Who knows how they think?”
Gil’s expression flattened. “This has nothing to do with her being noble.”
“Doesn’t it?”
“What is it with you and these people?”
“They made my childhood miserable, and I refuse to let them make my adult life the same.”
“Seems like you don’t really need help with that,” Gil said dryly.
“Prick,” I muttered. But Gil was smiling, because that’s what Gil did. It didn’t last though.
His gaze grew serious and he leaned closer, poking at my chest with one finger. “You going to argue? Because from over here it’s pretty clear, you’re different with her. Did something happen while you two were traveling?”
“No! Why does everyone think I can’t keep my dick in my pants for a fucking week?”
Gil gave me a look and I cursed.
“She’s a noble. She’s innocent. And creepy. And annoying.”
He shook his head. “I’ve seen you annoyed, and you’re always suspicious. But I haven’t seen you lose your shit like this in a long time.”
“Well, then, you haven’t paid attention. The last crop of Flamebornes shit themselves every time I walked past.”
“That’s because you’re creepy,” he jibed.
I rolled my eyes, but I could breathe a little easier when Gil was teasing. I didn’t like his scrutiny. So, I shrugged like I was playing along and turned away to pick up my things from the corner where I’d dropped them when I was too much of a child to walk out while they were there.
“Look, I’ll talk to her,” I said as I checked that the buckles on my satchel were secure. “I’ll make sure she knows I wouldn’t stand in her way. But trust me, I never told her that I would.”
Gil watched me, his lips pursed. “You really didn’t touch her?”
“I really didn’t.” But the hair on the back of my neck stood up at the low, careful tone in his voice. I looked at him to measure him. “Why?”
He shrugged. “I just thought, you know, if you had a thing for her—”
“I definitely don’t. There’s no thing here. In fact, the idea makes me a little bit sick.” Grace stared at me, eyes hooded, chest heaving. Everything within me hungered for her. Needed her. A desert-dry thirst swelled in my chest, and she was cool, clear water—
“You sure?”
I blinked, dragged out of the memory, and swallowed hard. “I’m sure,” I said hoarsely.
“Okay, so, you don’t mind if someone else… you know?”
I frowned. “What?”
“Well, I planned to talk to Ronen about the whole issue. Bren’s bonded to Donavyn.
And if what he’s saying is true about the queen, and all these women are starting to show up as prospects, it’s only a matter of time, right?
They can’t say hands off all the women when the ranks are full of them.
I was going to suggest to Ronen that we maybe don’t need the stringent boundaries with Grace that we set with Bren.
But I wouldn’t want to do that if you were—”
“I’m not.” Don’t do it. Don’t you fucking say—
“Then I’ll ask Ronen. I don’t know about you, but I think that noble innocence combined with the ballsy spirit is hotter than fuck. She’s the kind it would be fun to get messy.”
I was at his toes in a blink, nose to nose. He didn’t take a backward step. “She is our sister. And she’s a noble. Innocent—even more than Bren was. You don’t touch her,” I growled.
But he just shrugged. “That’s not your call—I mean, if you don’t care about her personally.”
“Of course, I care—and where the hell is this coming from? You were the one on all of us the first few weeks with Bren, telling us to keep eyes in our heads and hands to ourselves—”
“Bren needed help. I think Grace needs taming—”
I wasn’t aware of grabbing him, hadn’t thought about it, wasn’t conscious of anything except the deep, burning desire to shove a fist through his teeth.
“What’s wrong, Vos?” Gil said quietly. “You don’t trust me to be gentle?”
“No one trusts you to be gentle—”
“Why would you care? If she likes it—”
“She’s a fucking noble! And an innocent.”
“Those ones are the most fun,” he said with a shrug, his eyes glittering. “Teach them. Mold them the way you like them.”
I shoved him back against the stable wall, but he didn’t even grunt. He fucking smiled. “I swear to God, Gil, if you lay one finger on her—”
“What? What will you do?”
I went still and realized what I was doing. I had hands on my brother. The man I trusted the most of anyone, except Kham. I was confident if it came to it, I could take him. But, I also knew he’d never let me hear the last of it. And I didn’t want to hurt Gil.
I swallowed and let him go, took a step back. “Don’t touch her,” I muttered.
“Or what?”
“It’s against every boundary we ever set, and you know it.”
“But, our general breached that boundary—”
“He was mated to Bren. Not just a horny bull.”
Gil shrugged, and the hair rose on my arms. I stared him straight in the eye, swallowed the rage, but let him see that I could call on it. “She’s not for you.”
“So, she’s for you?”
“No. She’s not for any of us.”
“How do you know?”
“I just know.”
Gil huffed and shook his head, folding his arms. “But you just don’t trust her… right?”
“What the hell does that have to do with—”
“Get it together, Voski. Whatever you’re running from, stop. It’s going to come back and bite both of you.”
I spluttered, but he just turned on his heel and walked off.
“Hey!” I yelled after him. “What the hell asshole move was that? Are you going after her or not?!”
But he just raised one hand and made a rude gesture as he walked. He didn’t even look back.
I cursed. I knew he was taunting me. Knew he wanted to get under my skin, and if I pressed, he’d only be more convinced something was going on.
But I couldn’t shake the sick feeling when my traitorous mind reminded me of the way he’d stood over her at the intersection of aisles, close and smiling. Talking softly. And how easily and quickly he was capable of turning that kind of tender strength into seduction. Women loved Gil.
Especially women who were afraid.
Especially women who were adventurous.
Especially women who had no experience with sexual thrill and were discussing their own bodies as you touched them and—gah!
I cursed, grabbed my satchel, and stormed out of the stable.
Ignoring the fact that he’d gone through the main doors, I turned down the eastern aisle and headed out to the launch hollow.
I didn’t usually go to the Solitude by the most direct route.
I didn’t want anyone following me and discovering it.
But I was done. Finished.
I needed quiet, and an empty head, and sunshine. I needed to get the fuck away from Lady Grace Barnslow and anyone who had anything to do with her.
End of story.