55. Back to Routine #2
“It’s just that, I seem to be able to ride other dragon’s landings better than hers.
I started paying attention. I’ve practiced with everyone else, every day, and I have better success with all your dragons.
I fall less than half the time landing overall.
But when we ride Koa, it’s far more than half.
I think it’s because I’ve gotten to ride her less, and her gait is different. ”
“That’s probably true,” I said, impressed that she’d observed that in herself and was willing to work harder to fix it.
Most Flameborne wanted to give themselves the best chances to succeed, rather than pressing into their own weaknesses.
“Well, then, if Koa is happy for me to ride with you, we can take Koa for the whole session instead of just the end.”
Grace beamed. “She is. I already asked her. She encouraged me to ask you. I’m going to ask everyone. I just need to practice. I’m sure I can do it.”
“I’m certain you can too.”
Her cheeks pinked, but she thanked me, then turned and started up the mounting strap.
I purposefully gave her time and space to mount alone.
This many days into training, she should definitely be able to do it alone—and I was pleased to see that, while she was still slow, she made it to Koa’s withers without needing to pause to rest as she had a few days ago.
And while she still needed to pull her body up and over her dragon’s neck before throwing a leg over, she did so smoothly.
“You’ve been practicing,” I observed, as she settled into her seat and I grasped the mounting strap to haul myself up.
“As much as I can. I’m allowed to mount and dismount alone, as long as we don’t fly. So, when everyone else is busy, I do that.”
“Good. That’s why you’re getting stronger and smoother. Keep doing as you’re doing.”
When I reached the top of the strap, it was awkward, because I had to get behind her. She propped both hands on Koa’s withers, and leaned forward and down, letting me reach over the top of her back to grasp the neck strap for counterbalance, and pull myself up to slide in behind her.
There was a brief second when our bodies were pressed together, her ass against my groin, her warmth under my chest. Then I sat back and cleared my throat, settling myself into my seat, and turning my attention to the training, to distract my now tingling body.
As Grace talked me through each step of clipping in and preparing to take off, I barely heard a word. The skin on my arms and neck prickled with goosebumps, and my breathing had grown shallow.
“Very good. If you’re ready, take hold and tell Koa to go.”
I’d meant to distract myself with teaching her, but the moment Koa began to move, our bodies were jostled together and I wanted to curse.
I leaned back, trying to put as much space between us as I could, pretending it was to give her the chance to ride the take-off without my support.
And, to my relief, she did ride it without help.
I didn’t need to circle her in my arms, or hold her close.
I didn’t have to catch her weight, or press her down to keep her safe.
Soon, Koa soared over the Keep, and because it was far easier to ride flight without touching than take-off and landing, I instructed Grace to have her take one pass along the coastline, before returning to the launch hollow to land.
She did well—and still beamed every minute of flight.
I remembered when flying felt like that, the sheer delight of it. The marvel. The disbelief that this was my life now. I remembered those early days, and the sense of freedom I’d felt for the first time ever.
‘Your heart healed more every moment we remained in the sky,’ Kham sent warmly.
‘Yes. I remember,’ I replied with genuine warmth. He had saved my life. And that wasn’t a metaphor.
‘You should tell Grace of that—let her know she isn’t alone in that early joy, and fear.’
I tensed, not in anger, but the crackle of those nerves again. ‘This isn’t the time—’
‘Not your story, Voski. Just that portion. The newness. The joy. She is a dear heart, and Koa loves her deeply, but struggles to tell her in words she can understand: She is not as different as she believes herself to be.’
Oh.
As Grace leaned with Koa and stared out over the ocean with a smile, I tried to find the right words to encourage her—and battled the urge to keep my mouth shut.
Why? I had always maintained that a leader could be strong, and sharp when necessary, only if they were equally prepared to encourage and identify strength.
It was a philosophy I lived by. One I’d trained others to use.
Why did I so resist the idea of bolstering her?
I cleared my throat again. “Grace, this feeling you’re having—the thrill of it, how special it is to fly—that’s very normal.
And even though one day you’ll fly just to get a task done, or maybe wish you didn’t have to fly a patrol because you’re tired, you’ll never lose that.
It’s very real. And it stays with us. When you’re a Furyknight, it will no longer be an impossible dream.
But it will never stop being something for which you’re grateful.
Life with the dragons is unique. I’m glad Koa shares that with you. ”
Her shoulders rose and fell once before she turned her head to glance at me over her shoulder, and answered. “Thank you. I’m glad that it doesn’t stop feeling like this.”
“Never,” I said sincerely. “Flying with Kham is still the best way I know to find rest and clarity. I haven’t been able to do it just for fun for a while—we’ve traveled so much, and with the new matebond, I’ve had to let him conserve his energy.
” It wasn’t a joke, but the color in her flushed cheeks rose.
“But it’s the first thing I want to do when I need time or just to get away from difficulties. ”
She nodded. Her hands tightened on the straps. “I’m looking forward to the chance to do that. Alone, I mean.”
“I understand that. Well, let’s turn and go back and practice landing then. The sooner we get you consistently landing without falling, the sooner you can have your assessment.”
“Oh, we’re working for that already—they’re testing me next week.”
The cool air passing by us, fluttering our hair as Koa banked, suddenly felt frigid on my skin, as if I wasn’t wearing leathers at all.
“I… what?”
Grace glanced at me. I kept my face blank so she wouldn’t think I was angry, but it took all my training.
“The general and Ronen talked yesterday. The queen wants to watch my assessment, and they want me in the air as quickly as possible so Koa can spend more time with the herd. I’m assessing on Thirdday.”
I had to take a breath before I could speak calmly. “Did Donavyn mention why he would rush you to assess?”
She shrugged and didn’t turn again. “I think it’s mostly about the dragons. But I know I can do it. I’m practicing every minute I can. I’ll be ready.”
“I’m sure you will,” I said faintly.
“Don’t be worried,” she said a moment later. “I think we need this. Koa and I need to be free to fly—just like you do.”
When she checked over her shoulder, as if she was uncertain of my response, I nodded, and gave her no indication of the fury burning in my chest.
I was the consummate professional, assisting her in landing and taking off a dozen times in the hour, until finally, we returned to the ground.
I had one more hour before I was on patrol again. And I knew precisely how to spend that time.
“You did well,” I told her as I made my farewells. “I’m sure you’ll be ready. Keep practicing.”
“Thank you, Voski,” she called as I strode away. I raised a hand to acknowledge her call, but didn’t turn.
What the hell were they thinking? She’d barely have more than two weeks from the day she arrived until she’d be assessed. A woman.
What the actual fuck?