Chapter 5
CADE
Reluctantly, I once again leave the house before sunrise. While sleep has never been something I’m particularly good at when my mind is busy, leaving Rowan in that bed gets harder to do every day.
This morning, it’s worse than usual.
Gods, the need I have for that woman… It isn’t good, and yet, it’s exactly right.
Still, I’m doing everything I can to be a worthy mate and alpha, even when doing so makes me feel like I’m failing both roles at once.
The pack house is quiet as I pull the door shut behind me, and the faint scent of breakfast already cooking reminds me of last night’s dinner.
It wasn’t what I thought I was going to come home to, but it was what Rowan needed, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
Her laugh, drifting through the kitchen. Marius cursing under his breath because his steak was no longer bleeding. Archie stealing at least two bites he hadn’t earned and looking pleased about it.
Family.
The word lands harder than it should.
I can’t remember the last time I sat at a table like that without tension humming beneath the surface. Without strategy or politics or expectation or even loneliness. Just people together. Choosing to be there with one another.
And now Marius wants to transfer packs.
I exhale slowly as I head toward my office, glancing out the windows toward the sky, still bruised purple at the horizon.
It should be simple. He’s Rowan’s father. He belongs with her. With us.
But nothing involving packs is ever simple.
Still, I’m hoping that after having recently reconciled, the wolf council will make things smoother for this particular request.
As soon as I’m sitting behind my desk, I ignore the papers stacked there and pick up the phone. If I can’t give my mate her mother yet, maybe I can at least ensure that her father’s going to stay closer.
Let’s hope Bram is also an early riser.
The call connects on the second ring.
“Are you a fan of sunrises, too?” Bram jests, his voice rough with amusement. “Or did you just never go to bed?”
I snort, leaning back in my chair. “Not going to bed when I have a mate waiting for me? Do you think I’m a fool?”
“Fair.” There’s a pause, then, “How is Rowan?”
The ease with which he asks catches me off guard, but not in a bad way. I didn’t like him physically close to her, but having someone else concerned about my mate’s well-being isn’t bad. When they’re keeping their distance.
“She’s handling things better than I have any right to ask of her,” I admit after a moment. “I didn’t think we’d be in Solara as long as we have, before we’d be able to go after her mother.”
I’d already shared Malrik’s little visit with the council. As much as I’m not entirely sure we can trust every member to be on our side, I can’t count on Solara to be our only source of help when the time comes to face Malrik.
And after Taren’s previous warnings about him, what we went through in the forest trying to find Rowan, and seeing firsthand what the sorcerer Ashmark is capable of when he showed up at NightShade…
I err on the side of caution—something that doesn’t come naturally to me—and choose to be more forward than I normally would be.
Because when it comes to Rowan, hesitation isn’t something I can afford.
Bram tsks softly. “Are your wolf babies not acting as you expect? I thought they’d showed up for you at the manor.”
“They did, but that was only a fraction of them,” I explain. “There are over two hundred wolves in this main pack, and the other hundred and eighty or so of them aren’t exactly playing nice. I have a stack of paperwork to prove it, too.”
His chuckle echoes through the phone. “I don’t envy you, man. But I also don’t assume with all that you have going on, you’ve merely called me for a bitchfest.”
I rub a hand over my face. “Marius wants to transfer to Solara. I know wolves don’t usually transfer unless they’ve found their mate, but maybe finding their daughter is enough reason to not cause too much fuss as well.”
That sobers him instantly.
“You’d think,” Bram says carefully. “But that’s a big ask. At least it would’ve been under the old council.” There’s a beat of silence. “Good thing we decided to toss out their stupid rules and make our own, huh?”
“Should we, though?” The words taste like betrayal the moment they leave my mouth, and I hate myself a little for saying them. “I want to say yes. Gods, I want to. But my pack is already on edge. Adding another former alpha into the mix—one tied directly to Rowan—might complicate things further.”
“Seriously, Cade?” His disappointment is unmistakable. “What the hell have you been doing since you returned? Where’s the alpha I met at NightShade? The one who was ready to rip my head from my shoulders. Are you really letting the pack dictate your choices?”
I scoff under my breath. “You haven’t been here. I failed them, and the old council only made matters worse by not replacing me.”
“Maybe,” he allows. “But the pack doesn’t need you to grovel.
They need you to lead. To do what you know is right—even if they don’t like it.
” His voice hardens. “You’re not their friend, Cade.
You’re their alpha. And sometimes that means they won’t like you.
Especially when you command respect the way I know you can. ”
His words cut deep. Is that what I’ve been doing? Letting my guilt dull my edge?
Shit. He might actually be right.
I think back to my actions since the moment I stepped back on pack lands, starting with allowing the elder members to snub me in front of the others without consequence.
Gods, what have I done? I’ve let Rowan down. I’ve bent over backward to please too many others. I’ve ignored what I know needs to be done, all for the sake of trying to ask for peace and forgiveness when all along I should have been commanding it.
Yes, I screwed up and I hurt Solara, but I’m here now. I’ve apologized sincerely. If that’s not enough for them to at least give me another chance, then that’s their problem until someone else decides to step up.
I’d welcome any challenge.
“I’ll take your silence to mean that I’m right,” Bram says, snapping me back into the present. “I hope that makes your life a little easier. Either way, consider me in agreement on the transfer for Marius.”
“Thank you, Bram,” I tell him sincerely. “I needed to hear that.”
“We all do every once in a while,” he replies. “Now, go be that dickhead alpha I’ve seen and show your pack who daddy is.”
He really is insufferable. Smart and observant but insufferable nonetheless.
We talk a little longer—about the council needing to reconvene soon, about Malrik staying maddeningly quiet, about how Rowan somehow manages to be both the calmest and most dangerous presence in any room she enters.
When we hang up, the sun has finally begun its slow climb. I consider going back to the house—back to Rowan—but I don’t get the chance to even stand before a soft knock sounds at my open door.
I look up to find Elias standing there, posture stiff, expression unreadable.
“You have visitors,” he says. “Elders.”
Of course I do.
Elder wolves are normally the second most respected of the pack, after the alpha.
Mostly because they’ve seen and survived more than a lot of us.
I’ve tried to do that, but I’m not sure I can do so any longer, especially when I’m sure they’re here to tell me what a shit job I’ve done the last two weeks.
Thanks to that conversation with Bram, I’m no longer just going to nod at the disrespect.
“Send them in,” I reply, already preparing myself.
They enter quietly—three of them. Harlan, Graham, and Bennett. All familiar faces. Wolves who’ve seen generations rise and fall, who remember the day I left and the silence that followed.
They don’t sit, and that sets the tone exactly how I expect.
“Alpha Cade,” Graham begins, voice respectful but distant. “We wanted to speak with you privately.”
I incline my head. “I’m listening.”
“We appreciate the effort you’ve made,” Harlan says. “The restraint and the way you haven’t come back with an iron fist and how you’ve handled recent…complications.”
There it is.
“But,” Graham continues, “the pack has been through enough and, overall, they’re not ready to accept you as alpha again. Not yet anyway.”
The words land with quiet finality.
And yet, they don’t rattle me.
I rise from my chair slowly, deliberately, giving them my full height. “I assumed as much.”
They stiffen.
“I came back with the intention of making amends,” I continue evenly. “To correct the mistakes I made ten years ago. I did that knowing it would cost me time that I should’ve spent protecting my mate and helping her find her mother.”
Their attention sharpens.
“But I’m finished paying penance,” I say. “I won’t be disrespected in my own pack.”
The color drains from their faces.
“I can tell by your demeanor that you expected me to argue,” I go on calmly. “To bargain or attempt to prove myself again.” A pause. “I won’t. I’m done.”
What are you doing? my wolf asks with confusion. We belong here. With pack.
We do, but we also need to be valued and respected and not judged merely for a decision we made when we were practically still a teenager.
“I’m an alpha,” I say aloud. “My place is here—if this pack chooses to accept it. I know who I am. I know what I did. If my apologies and efforts haven’t been enough, then you won’t receive them anymore.”
I let the words settle before delivering the rest.
Bennett exhales sharply. “That’s it? You’re leaving again?”
“Isn’t that what you came here to ask me to do?” I scoff, but don’t wait for a reply. “But more than that, I’m doing what I should have from the start.”
Their eyes flick between one another.
“If you decide you want me,” I continue, “you know how to reach me. Until then, I’m done being disrespected.”
I move to pass them, but Graham catches my arm.
“Where are you going?” he asks quietly.
I meet his gaze without hesitation.
“To get my mate’s mother,” I say. “And end both of their suffering.”
Something shifts in his expression—respect, finally earned.
It’s about damn time, Elias says through our pack link as I pass his grinning face.
I don’t stop for any further conversations.
Rowan has waited long enough.