Chapter Twenty-Two
Ash
I’d seen him stressed, panicked, terrified, resigned, and defeated.
I’d never seen him in the midst of panic like this.
He couldn’t breathe, and I knew it was an anxiety attack, I mean, why the fuck wouldn’t he suffer from that shit, after what he’d been through?
The question was how to help him through it.
My sister had them, and she’d either be screaming or catatonic, because hers came from being assaulted by assholes at her school.
I guess Cal had been through a different kind of hell, but no less soul destroying.
“Babe? Breathe for me. Jesus fuck, breathe, or you’ll pass out!”
He was still gasping, clawing at his throat over and over, leaving dark pink scratch-marks against his skin.
He was doing himself harm, and I hated it.
That was my job, anyway, right? I caught his hand and held it in a tight grip, and I climbed off him, because as much as I wanted to stay closer to him, something told me that it could be restricting his breathing too, somehow.
“Do you want to sit up? Would you breathe better like that?” Should I tilt his head, to open his airways? What the fuck was I supposed to do? I dragged him up to sit against the bed, and he was like dead weight, like he had no strength at all.
Fuck! I ran for my phone, and dialled the first number that came to mind.
“Hey, kid. How’s things going?” Thank fuck for dad Dory.
“He’s freaking out. I don’t know what to do!”
Cal was still fighting to breathe, and I was starting to wonder if there was literally some health thing wrong with him, and he needed a fucking hospital.
“Calm down, son, talk me through what’s going on.” His soothing tone had the desired effect on me, because I was freaking out too now. My dad always knew how to calm me down, how to give me air when I felt like it was thinning around me like right now.
“He can’t breathe! He’s… Jesus, he’s gonna pass out if he keeps gasping like this. Is… does he have some medication he needs or something? I fucked up. I didn’t ask.”
Dad called out to dad Gray, and they chatted briefly, which was agonising because Cal was fucking dying on me right now.
“Dad!”
“Yeah, sorry, I was just getting your dad to pass me my laptop. Blaze hacked all his personal data and sent it to us, but I hadn’t looked yet. I’m checking his hospital records. One second.” Now his calm was pissing me off, because what if Cal didn’t have a fucking second?
“Cal, baby, please breathe for me.” I was on my knees beside him again, and set the phone on speaker, dropping it beside me so I could pull his hands away from his throat again.
“Ask him if this has happened before,” dad suddenly said, and how was that fucking helpful? He was supposed to be getting me information, not asking dumb questions. I could have come up with that one myself!
“Seriously?”
Cal coughed, and tugged at his hand, drawing my eyes back to his face.
He nodded frantically, and Jesus, he looked so fucking pale, and weak.
I was losing him before we even fucking started.
Tears were burning my eyes, and I was so tired of being an emotional fucking baby.
He needed me to be stronger than this. He needed my strength to keep him safe.
“Dad!”
He was tapping away at a keyboard.
“Okay, I think he’s just having an anxiety attack, kid. There’s nothing in his hospital records to say he suffers from any respiratory conditions, not even asthma.”
“Try slapping him,” dad Gray yelled from somewhere in the background.
“Gray, that’s not really helpful.”
“What? He’s been a complete fucking asshole. Slap him, kid. Slap him for me.” Ugh. Why was his timing always off on this shit. That was so five fucking minutes ago.
“Dad, shut it! So he’s not dying on me? He’ll be okay, right?”
“Why…” Cal gasped out, “how…”
I squeezed his hand, and waited him out, even my dads falling silent for once.
“Go on, baby.”
“How’d… they… know?”
Oh. It was weird how I knew exactly what he was asking, but maybe that was part of our deep fucking connection, or something. Maybe it was logic. Of course he’d wonder how they knew what was happening. Of course he’d wonder how they knew anything about him.
“How… they know… about me?”
“Blaze hacked you,” dad Dory said suddenly, and I felt like a prick. Of course it was obvious to everyone. I hadn’t figured out anything deep. Jesus, did we even have a connection?
“Okay, I’m done here. Wait… can you send me addresses for his uncle and parents?”
My dads were quiet for a moment, then I heard dad Gray starting to laugh.
“Shut it, Gray. Why are you asking, Ash?”
“Obviously he’s going on a killing spree, baby,” dad Gray answered him for me, “and I’m so proud. Our little boy’s all grown up.”
Ugh. I cut off the call and tossed my phone aside.
“You…”
I leaned over to kiss Cal’s temple, and kept stroking his face, and slowly his breathing started to balance out again.
“Me what?”
“Your… your dads are fucking insane.” Yeah, tell me something I don’t know.
Cal
I really thought I was dying, or that I’d pass out, and never wake up.
I even wondered if I’d angered God after all, and that was my penance, but Ash’s dad said it was an anxiety attack, and although he hadn’t been helpful at all after that, it gave me some peace of mind, to know it was something real, and not connected to my former faith.
When it’d happened in the past, my parents told me it was because I’d sinned, and was being punished.
“Get up on the bed, babe, I’m gonna get you something to drink,” Ash said as he literally hauled me up and eased me onto the bed.
We were both still naked, but in some ways that was a good thing, because I was getting used to being naked around him, and seeing him that way.
The fact that he had unnerving strength, which his surprisingly wiry shape didn’t even hint at, was something I’d have to remember, because if we came to blows, there was no way I’d win.
That said though, if we came to blows, I had a feeling Ash would get off on it.
He kept telling me to hurt him, like he craved it.
Was he as insane as his dads, and why was I asking myself that? Of course he was.
“Sip this, babe.” A glass of water was being pressed into my trembling hand, and he helped me lift it, while I still felt weak.
Each cool sip seemed to send a trickle of calm through me, like the sensory experience alone was helping to ground me.
I didn’t even consider what he’d given me, or if it was safe.
I trusted him. Bizarre, but true. After all we’d done to each other, I trusted him, trusted that he was helping me.
“How did you know that’d help?”
Ash rolled his eyes at me, looking adorable, even though I knew he was more deadly than cute.
“You were gasping so much, I just figured you’d be thirsty.
I’d like to be quenching your thirst with my cum, but I thought you might get pissy about that.
” And we’re back into asshole territory, although he offered me his little half grin after those words, like he was trying to be cute and distracting.
“What happens now?” I watched as he took the glass and gulped a few mouthfuls, before passing it back to me.
“Well, I guess we should get something to eat, and let you get your fucking sea legs back.”
Typical Ash. Why give a sensible answer, when you can be a dick?
“You know what I meant.”
He groaned, reaching down and lazily stroking his dick, which he seemed to think was a perfectly normal thing to do around a guy he wasn’t actually sleeping with. It was already half hard, and I didn’t want to know what about this situation had him horny.
“You told your dads. They know we’re thinking of going after my family.”
My eyes were riveted on Ash’s hand as he rubbed his thumb over the head of his cock, and groaned softly. Why was he doing this right now? We were trying to have a conversation.
“Can you not do that right now?”
He didn’t stop, and he ignored my new question, favouring the first instead. His touch firmed against his cock, as he spoke.
“We’re not thinking about going after your family, baby, we’re definitely going after them, and we’re going to make them suffer for every fucking thing they made you believe, while they brainwashed you into thinking you couldn’t be yourself.”
I was mesmerised by the way he was jerking himself off, not even trying to make it look idle or casual now.
“Seriously, Ash. Why are you jerking off while we talk? Especially about killing people, that’s fucked up!”
He laughed, the sound ragged and sudden.
“I am fucked up, babe. Look, we wanted to get off, and we didn’t.
My urges are still there, and I can’t think straight ‘til I blow my load, so I’m doing it to help me concentrate.
Besides, you’re all naked and sexy beside me, who wouldn’t want to stroke one off? ”