Chapter Twenty-Four
Ash
We stared at each other for seconds that felt like fucking forever, and then we were kissing, and I honestly didn’t even know who made the first move, but his tongue was thrusting against mine, like he couldn’t get enough of me, even after I stealth-snowballed him.
“Please don’t be fucking with me, Cal, I can’t take that,” I whispered as I rested my forehead against his. He sucked in a sharp breath, and it sounded ragged to me. He was on the edge of something, but was it what I wanted? Did he truly want it? Would I do it anyway?
“Back to the bedroom, babe.” I guided him in front of me, watching his firm ass as he walked, already desperate to spread his cheeks, and see that little winking hole that I wanted to stretch for him.
Cal paused, staring at the bed, then glanced at me over his shoulder.
“Can… can I lean my arms on the bed, and you… can we do it like that?” So he could face away from me, and deny our love?
I was tempted to say hell no, and force him to look me in the eye as he took my cock, but maybe he needed it this way first, so he could deal with all these feelings he’d been suppressing for his entire life.
Maybe we had to break his walls one at a time, instead of bulldozing them all at once.
I rested a palm on his scarred back, and he flinched, forcing himself to stay in place and accept my touch.
“I’m scared, Ash.”
I had no words of comfort for him, because I was the last fucker who’d be able to say the right thing right now, but I knew he needed something. I wished I knew what, but all I knew how to do was to be me.
“We’re both trying something new, Cal, so let’s just be scared together, yeah? I’m not planning on hurting you, so if I do, just tell me.”
His head had been lowered, but he turned to look at me again, allowing my hand to smooth around his side, and rest against his abdomen.
“What? You’ve… you’ve never… either? That wasn’t bullshit? You really waited for me?”
Huh. Maybe it was a big deal to him that I hadn’t. Who knew. We were both avoiding the subject of who else got there first with both of us. She didn’t fucking exist anymore, literally.
“I only wanted it to be you, and for as long as you didn’t want me, I went without too. I watch a fuckload of porn though, so I know what to do. Trust me, okay?”
Cal nodded, moving over to the bed and leaning on his hands, glancing back over his shoulder, and trying to smile at me, his lips trembling a little.
He was terrified, and if I’m honest, I wasn’t feeling supremely confident, no matter how much I’d pretended to be.
I didn’t want to tell him I was a scared almost virgin too.
Almost, because of… nope, not giving that bitch another second of my time.
I checked the drawer by the side of the bed, finding lube, almost like this house was planned for these kinds of shenanigans, and knowing my dads, it probably was.
“I’m gonna touch you now, Cal. You flinch every time, so I’m giving you a chance to prepare.” He nodded, turning to watch me approach him again, one hand stroking my cock, because guess who’s back to play.
“Don’t hurt me, Ash. Not… not this time. I need… Jesus, I’m such a fucking coward. I need it to feel good.”
Yeah, don’t we all. I hoped I wouldn’t hurt him, but I was new to this too, so who knew what could happen. Had I stretched and finger fucked my own ass, obviously, but I hadn’t done it to someone else. What if I did it wrong? Should I ask my dads first? They did this stuff, they’d know.
“Ash… are you… you don’t want me?”
Fuck. The last thing I wanted to do was make him feel like he wasn’t all I fucking wanted.
I tossed the bottle of lube on the bed, and shoved him so he fell forward against the bed, crawling on top of him, and pinning him with my entire fucking body.
His gasp turned into a more guttural, ragged sound.
“Baby, don’t fucking try that shit with me.
Don’t go thinking you’re not the only fucking thing in this world I want.
I didn’t do all of this because I wasn’t sure what I wanted.
It’s always been you, and it always fucking will be.
You know how you get away from me now? No.
Fucking. Way. Even if you die, I’ll follow you into hell, and you know what?
You outlive me, and I’ll follow you around as a ghost, and fucking ecto-cum in you every second of every fucking day.
You’ll be wearing it inside and out, until you die and join me.
That’s how sure I am that this is it. Us.
It’s all we’ll ever fucking be, and if you try to get out of it, or leave me, I’ll kill us both. ”
Cal
I was struck silent by his words, by his twisted declaration that he seemed to think was appropriate to say to another human being.
Or was it really that twisted? Was it any different than a wedding vow?
Was it any different than a lifelong commitment between two people who loved each other?
Aside from the ‘ecto-cum’ thing, because that was pure Ash.
“Ecto-cum?”
Ash groaned, sliding a hand between us, and squeezing one of my ass cheeks. I hadn’t missed the fact that his cock was trapped between us, resting right across the crevice he wanted to breach.
“What’s wrong with that? You think ghosts don’t get off? What else is left to do once you’re dead?”
Maybe I’d lost my mind, because why did some of his crazy shit start to sound like it made sense? And why wasn’t I freaked out by his closeness? By the fact that right now we were pressed so tightly together, and naked, that it wouldn’t take much for us to be fucking?
Addressing the subject of ghosts felt too close to faith, and all the things I was trying to forget, and knowing I could handle his closeness right now was making me want more.
“Ash, please… don’t make me wait.”
A groan rumbled through his chest, tingling my skin everywhere he touched me. His flesh was so hot, it was almost scorching me, like fire raged inside him, just waiting to be released.
“You want me, baby? You want my cock?”
“YES! Please, Ash, now before I lose my nerve.”
He pulled back a little. “I haven’t prepped you, Cal, it’ll hurt you.”
I didn’t care anymore. Pain was just a part of life, of every milestone and experience, why hadn’t I realised that before? Maybe it was right that our first time together would hurt. It’d make it more real, more true. Love without pain would be meaningless.
“Please.”
Ash moved back, sitting over my thighs, stroking his hands down my back, then grasping both ass cheeks in his fists.
“You want me in this tight ass, baby? You want me to skip the prep, and go right to reaming this tight virginal hole like a bastard? You’ve seen my cock, right? It’s not small enough to do it without hurting you.”
“Do it.”
“You said not to hurt you, so now you’re confusing the hell out of me. Let’s see if you can take my fingers, and then you’ll get my cock. If I do damage now, I can’t fuck you again for like, hours, so…”
“Hours? What the fuck?”
Ash laughed, and I heard the bottle top pop open, and then cool liquid trailed down my back and over my ass.
“The fuck are you doing?”
“Want you all slick and slippery, baby. Wanna fuck every inch of you, but even I’m smart enough to know that’s impossible. Let me do my thing.”
His fingers suddenly slid between my ass cheeks, and I cursed, a jolt of shock rippling through me at this first forbidden touch. I could feel my skin slowly coating with the now warm lube, and cursed him for getting it everywhere when we only needed it on my damn asshole.
Something suddenly pressed inside my ass, in a smooth glide, and I tensed as I waited for it to hurt.
“Ah, your ass is squeezing my finger, baby, it feels so fucking sexy. Squeeze it tighter, go on.”
“Don’t be a freak, Ash. I’m not doing that.”
“And yet you just did. Fuck yeah, that’s hot, isn’t this hot?”
“I can’t concentrate. I’ve got a finger in my ass, dammit!”
It withdrew, and oddly I missed it, wanted it again, and when it returned, it was thicker and this time the stretch burned, and he pressed so much deeper that the shock, and the burn, suddenly became something entirely different. Something amazing.
“Oh G… Fuck!”
Ash laughed. “Yell out to God, baby, tell him how much you like me playing with your ass. If the fucker wants to smite you right now, I’ll protect you.”
“Shut up, Ash.”
He rammed his fingers harder into me, and I practically yelped at the force he used. Was he trying to tear me or something? Yet it didn’t stay an unwelcome feeling, something was starting to burn inside me, setting fire to my senses.
Discomfort had definitely turned to pleasure once more, as he stimulated parts of me that had never been treated, or mistreated, like this before. Streaks of fire seemed to obliterate my very soul, as shudders of pleasure rode up my spine.
“Oh god…”
“Exactly, baby, keep telling your god how much you fucking love this. My fingers are fucking your ass, and my cock’s next.”
The fingers moved, and then something was pushing against me again, and it was bigger, or rounder, either way it felt huge, and that stretching burn was too much. It hurt.
“Stop.”
“Nope, just let me in, Cal. You wanted me to fuck you, and at last, finally, I’m going to fuck you.”
He kept pressing forward, and I started to struggle, to free myself, to stop him, to do something.
“Stop, Ash!” All of a sudden, I could hear my parents’ voices in my head, telling me I was filthy, and a devil child, and that I deserved to go to hell for my abhorrent behaviour, and wicked wants.
“No… god no, please…”
Ash’s body pressed tight against mine, my ass stuffed full of cock, and a sob escaped, followed by another, as pleasure mixed with pain, and heartbreak, and disgust, because after more than a decade of being told this was wrong, they were ruining what should be a perfect moment.
“Cal?”