Chapter Thirty-Nine
Ash
As soon as I realised my twisted older sister, and her insane nutjob of a husband, were about to get it on, I got the hell out of there, hoping Cal had the good sense to shut the cameras off before he saw things he couldn’t unsee.
For clarity, I’m talking about family sex.
Not the murders. Those I hope he saw, because the pain and suffering of his parents was an essential part of his healing process.
Now everyone who’d ever hurt him was gone, well, except me, but I’m not going anywhere.
He wasn’t in the office, but the screens were off, thank god, so I went in search of him, sure I’d find him chilling in the lounge, nope, or in the kitchen getting coffee or a snack, still nope.
Ren was there, tucking into a sandwich nearly as big as his head, so I guess Cal fed him before he disappeared.
I found him, not even in the bedroom, but in the shower.
He was curled up, fully clothed, without the water running, at least not from the showerhead.
His eyes, however, were wet, and he was more anguished than I’d imagined.
That’s on me. I know I’m not the smart Cross kid, but I thought he’d see this for what it was. Closure. Freedom. A future.
“Cal?”
He lifted his head, his features desolate, and I felt my stomach clench at the pain I saw in him. He was hurting because of them? They were still managing to hurt him?
“Baby,” I murmured, dropping down beside him, wrapping my arm around him, so I could hug him to me. It wasn’t usually my words that helped him, but the physical comfort I could always easily supply. See, learning. I don’t have to speak, I can just hold him.
“I… I’m being… stu… stupid…” he gasped raggedly, his breath hitching so frequently he was almost incoherent.
“Nope. Actually, maybe, but that’s okay,” I said lamely, because what the hell was the right response here?
He watched his parents get murdered, was complicit in it, wanted it.
Did that mean it was guilt he was feeling?
Remorse? I’ve heard some people feel those things, but it’s not really a Cross family trait for the most part.
“I… I loved… even though… I… I’m s-sorry.”
“Why the hell are you apologising? You feel bad for having feelings? You feel bad for caring that they died? I don’t think they deserve your sorrow, Cal, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t feel something.
It’s okay if you don’t too, but it’s probably normal that you do.
” I grimaced. “Maybe you’re still a normie, and maybe I’ll never live that down, but it’s okay.
Feel what you’re feeling. You’ve spent your life being suppressed from the things you should have been able to say, and do, and feel.
I’m not about to be your next oppressor. ”
Cal snorted, then hiccupped, pressing so close I think we literally melded into one person, and that’s without my cock up him. I think that’s still my preferred way, but this is nice too.
“You make… sense sometimes… Ash,” he whispered, the hiccups easing a little, as he calmed so slowly that I’d barely noticed it until now.
“Yeah, I’m wicked smart. Whatever. You wanna go fuck now?”
He gasped out a ragged laugh, slapping my chest feebly. “And you’re back. I don’t think I want… you any other way though. You’re who I need.”
I kissed the top of his head, lifting my eyes to the shower on the opposite wall. I wished I could somehow switch it on, and soak us both, so we’d have to get naked. Why weren’t psychically powered showers a thing yet? And they call me dumb. At least I thought of it.
“Ash, what are you plotting? I can literally hear your brain working on something wicked.”
I grinned at him. “Wanna suck my cock in the shower? I’ll get it all clean for you first. See how nice I am to you?”
Cal groaned, rolling away to rest against my arm and the wall.
“We need to talk first. I’m worried about other stuff than what just happened down there.”
“Something’s happening down here, babe. Don’t you wanna touch it?”
“I’m being serious!” So was I, but whatever.
I stretched my legs out in front of me, because apparently whatever this important talk was, it was happening on the shower floor in our ensuite bathroom, instead of somewhere comfortable.
“What? Don’t go thinking you’re dumping me, Cal. You’re mine, and I’ll never let you go. Remember what’ll happen if you kill me. I’ll still be right fucking here.”
He just sighed. “That’s definitely not what I’m saying. I literally just admitted I need you, Ash. And… I mean, your family… they’re terrifying, but they love so strongly. I’m starting to appreciate how important and special that is.”
“I’ll make a real person out of you yet, normie.”
“I’m talking about Ren.”
My smile disappeared in an instant, because I suddenly had this awful feeling that we were about to lose something we’d only just gained.
Cal
He looked like I’d just dumped him or something, and for that to be his reaction to worry about Ren was actually pretty surprising, and kind of a relief. But it didn’t change the issue at hand.
“I’m worried about him.”
Ash frowned, dragging a hand through his hair as he slumped against the wall.
“Is he leaving us?”
“What? No. That’s not the issue. It’s kinda the opposite.”
Ash looked even more confused. “He’s… taking us? Marrying us? What? I don’t get it.”
He was pulling at his hair again, like he couldn’t stop making agitated motions while he worried about what was happening.
“Ash. Ash, take a breath. He’s not leaving, but I’m worried we’re doing him harm.”
Ash was up like a shot, pacing in the shower cubicle, which, by the way, was a really stupid fucking place for us to hang out.
I got up too, and headed for the bedroom, because my back was killing me, and my ass was kind of numb.
I wasn’t about to mention that to my lovely boyfriend though, because he’d take it as a come on. He took most things that way.
He followed me into the bedroom, standing by the wall with his hands tucked in his jeans pockets.
“You’re freaking me out, babe. How are we harming him? Is he okay?”
I sighed. “He wants us to kill his parents too.”
Ash’s dark eyes widened, and a laugh burst out of him.
“Oh. Is that all? I’m sure Etha-”
“No! That’s the point I’m making! This shouldn’t be so easy to just agree to! He shouldn’t be deciding his parents need to die, I shouldn’t have done that either, and you should be disagreeing with the possibility of us murdering people just because they don’t, or won’t, like us!”
Ash had grinned as I hopped up from the bed to argue with him, like it was some kind of foreplay, which for him, it probably was.
“Ash, I’m serious.”
He sighed, moving over to close the bedroom door, like this conversation is the one that shouldn’t be heard, out of everything that’s been said and done so far.
Meanwhile downstairs two people were probably fucking in the blood of my dead kin, while the boy I was hoping we wouldn’t screw up, was hopefully still eating his lunch nowhere near any of this.
“Babe, they’re intolerant assholes who neglected their son.”
I threw my hands up with frustration.
“This is what I’m talking about! That’s not a reason to kill people, Ash! Where does it stop? Someone cuts us off in traffic, do we kill them? The barista makes your coffee too hot? Kill them? Where’s the fucking line?!”
Anger tightened his face, as he clenched his fists and approached me like a threat he literally was, but I was no longer afraid of him.
“Listen, Cal-”
“You know, nobody ever got away with calling me that until you, and now I’m just merrily accepting it like it’s my fucking name!”
Despite his anger, a small grin appeared and disappeared, like a mirage I could have blinked and missed.
“It’s a Cross family trait, babe. We’re good at naming people.
But look, I get your point, and no, I’m not likely to kill a fucking prick from a kneejerk reaction like that.
Did we rush in without planning either of these kills?
No. We considered what needed to happen.
We put plans in action, and we fucking executed them. Oooh, I punned.”
Jesus. I opened my mouth, but he wasn’t done, so who knew what’d come out of his mouth next. With him, literally anything was possible.
“Here’s the thing, Cal. There’s a huge difference between a dicksplash who can’t read a road sign, and a bigot who abuses their child. Or forces rape on guys to try and turn them straight. I’m not about to apologise for removing those fucking polyps from this asshole planet. Got it?”
Polyps? Nope, not going there.
“Ash, it seems at times that you guys will just merrily kill someone just to feel their fucking blood on your skin!”
That grin was back. That fucking grin!
“I mean, sure, that part’s fun, but I’m not really the killing kind, babe.
You might have noticed that I let Em and Ethan have that honour.
I’m all about justice for assholes like them, but I’m a bit of a pussy, like you.
I want them gone, but I’m happy letting my family take the lives.
I just want to spend mine wrapped around you.
Is that so bad? Am I such an awful person? ”
“Yes,” I murmured, as I pulled his pouty face closer and rested my forehead against it, “we both are. We have to do better with Ren, okay? Promise me we won’t just let him run wild, and become a psycho, without at least trying to prevent that?”
Ash chuckled, wrapping his hands around my cheeks and holding me close.
“I can try, babe. Do I get points for that?”