Chapter 6 - Luna
Gage's hand is wrapped around mine on one side, and Torrin's fingers are laced through mine on the other.
I honestly couldn't tell you which one I'm gripping harder.
My thumb keeps moving over Torrin's knuckles, tracing the small scar near the base of his first finger that he earned the first summer I knew him while showing off on Atlas's skateboard.
Every time my fingers pass over it, I get the same reassurance.
He's real. He's here. He's not somewhere a thousand kilometers away while I sit at home imagining every terrible thing that might have happened to him.
A week of that panic and uncertainty has left me exhausted in ways sleep isn't going to fix.
I spent days staring at a dead phone, walking past their mugs in the drying rack, and lying awake at night with Gigi's breathing coming from down the hall while the rest of the house stayed too quiet.
Now that I have Gage and Torrin within reach, I can't seem to stop touching them.
My fingers move from Torrin's hand to his wrist, then back again, checking warm skin and a steady pulse even though I know damn well he's sitting beside me.
Gage caught me doing the same thing to him ten minutes ago and simply lifted his arm so I could tuck closer against his side.
He didn't tease or ask what I was doing.
He just made room for me, which is such a Gage thing to do that my eyes burned and I had to stare through the slats of the truck until I got myself under control.
There hasn't been enough time with either of them since they came home.
It's been soldiers, a dead body, plans, trucks and people needing decisions from us.
I haven't had a chance to ask what happened to them during those seven days or what they had to do to get back.
I can see the exhaustion on both their faces, and I know they can see mine too.
There's also a dead man in my basement whose burned-out eyes keep appearing every time I stop moving long enough to think about him.
When the ground shook while Torrin and Mars were outside dealing with the patrol, Gage pulled me into the doorway and wrapped both arms around me until it stopped.
For those few seconds, I wasn't thinking about earthquakes or soldiers or anything else.
I was pressed against Gage's chest, listening to his heartbeat, and I felt safe.
I want everyone back so badly it hurts. Reid is somewhere behind the warehouse fence, and if Reid is there, Jules almost certainly is too.
Gigi may be there as well, although after a full day in military custody I'm starting to wonder if the soldiers will need rescuing from her.
She's probably already decided which one belongs as the villain in her next book and which one is killed off in a vicious accident.
Once they're all home, maybe we'll finally have five minutes to talk about what the hell happened this week.
Someone can explain Mars's shadows, Gage moving earth, Torrin controlling people with his voice, and the silver light that keeps coming off of my skin whenever I'm scared or pissed off.
Until then, none of it matters as much as getting the rest of my family back.
Movement across the truck bed catches my attention, and I make the mistake of looking at Mars. He's not looking at my face though, he's staring at my hands, one held by Gage and the other by Torrin. The muscle in his jaw moves, and I know exactly what he's thinking.
Anger comes first because he doesn't get to be jealous.
He doesn't get to disappear for two years, miss everything that happened after my family died, and then come back expecting me to be exactly where he left me.
The anger doesn't stop the ache underneath it, though, and that pisses me off even more.
I thought I'd gotten past the part where one look from Mars could make me want.
His gaze finally lifts to mine. Whatever he sees on my face makes him look down at the floor of the truck in what looks like despair.
For one stupid second, I want to apologize.
No. Absolutely not.
I have nothing to apologize for. Gage, Torrin, Reid and Jules were there when I had to figure out how to live without my family. They picked me up every time I fell apart, and I did the same for them. Whatever my feelings for them have become belongs to me. I don’t owe Mars anything.
A fist pounds twice against the back wall of the cab, and Charlie's voice carries through the slats. "Gate's ahead, two minutes out. Everybody get ready and remember, you're all miserable prisoners, so look the part."
Bernie lifts his spatula in a grim salute, and I have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing.
The people around us don't need much encouragement to look frightened.
Foster checks the gag around Thenton's mouth while the corporal glares at everyone from where he's restrained on the floor.
I turn toward Torrin and immediately stop thinking about anything but him.
He looks terrible. His skin has gone pale, and the fingers holding mine are trembling slightly.
He’s about to walk into a compound filled with armed men and use his new ability again, and none of us has really stopped to ask what using it is doing to him.
I squeeze his hand. "Hey, look at me. How bad is it?"
"It's just a headache, love." His mouth moves into a smile, but his eyes still look exhausted. "Bit of a loud day for the old brain, that's all."
"Torrin Ashford, I have known you for five years, and your accent gets thicker every time you lie to me. How bad?"
That gets a real smile out of him. He rests his head against the slats and exhales.
"It takes effort every time. Telling someone to stop or stay still doesn't seem too bad, but breaking whatever my father put in their heads is different.
The first few were easy. The last group wasn't. My hands haven't stopped shaking since. "
His thumb moves over mine once.
"And if there is a limit?" I ask. "What happens if you hit it halfway through that warehouse? We don't know if this is just tiring you out or actually hurting you."
Gage shifts closer on my other side. "Then we stop treating this like Tor has unlimited power. None of us knows what the limit is on this magic stuff or what the cost is."
Torrin frowns at him but Gage keeps going.
"You handle the two guards at the gate and get them to bring your father outside, then you shut him down.
After that, we stop and see what condition you're in.
If breaking Ashford's orders is the part taking the most out of you, you don't do it to another twenty soldiers.
You make your father remove the orders himself. "
Torrin gives him an amused but tired look. "So you've already decided how much magic I'm allowed to use?"
"Yep."
"Good to know."
"Somebody has to, because your current plan appears to be keep going until you fall over."
Torrin shakes his head with a tired sigh.
Gage squeezes my hand before looking back at him. "We don't know enough about any of this yet. If you start slurring, swaying, bleeding, or anything else that tells us you're done, then you're done. We figure out another way."
Torrin nods reluctantly. "Fine."
"That sounded sincere."
"It wasn't."
"Didn't think so."
A smile pulls at my mouth despite everything.
This is what I missed when they were gone.
They don't just show up when something goes wrong.
They watch out for each other. Gage sees Torrin pushing too hard and immediately starts planning around it.
Torrin listens even while complaining. Being between them with both their hands holding mine makes my body finally stop bracing for the next bad thing for a few seconds.
The truck slows, and gravel pops beneath the tires. Every conversation in the back dies as we turn toward the warehouse.
Through the slats, I get my first close look at the fence.
Chain link runs in both directions with coils of razor wire along the top.
Floodlights rise above the yard, ready for the dark.
Two soldiers stand near the rolling gate with rifles slung across their chests and one begins pulling the gate open as the trucks approach while the other starts walking toward our tailgate.
Radio static comes through from the cab before Charlie's bored voice follows. "Sweep team four coming in, two trucks, thirty-one collected, over."
"Copy that, four. Hold for a count. Simmons is walking back to you."
The people sitting around us go very still. Nobody has to fake being afraid anymore.
I lean closer to Gage and lower my face against his shoulder. It looks right for the part we're playing, but it also gives me something solid to concentrate on when the now-familiar buzzing sensation starts beneath my skin. Silver light appears across my palms.
Not now.
I curl my fingers inward and breathe slowly. Gage glances down, sees the glow and shifts his body enough to block anyone outside the truck from noticing it.
"Easy, sweetheart," he murmurs.
"I am being easy."
"Your hands disagree."
"Rude."
I focus on breathing until the light dims. I have no idea why it reacts when I'm frightened or how I'm supposed to stop it when I actually need to. Learning control is going to require the one thing I haven’t been able to get since the moon cracked, which is five uninterrupted minutes of peace to try.
Boots crunch closer over the gravel, and the young soldier comes into view at the tailgate. He can't be much older than me. His expression has the same blank quality I've seen on the other men still under Colonel Ashford's control.
His eyes move across everyone in the truck while he counts.
Thenton suddenly fights against his restraints and screams into the gag.
The noise is muffled but loud enough to snap the young soldier's attention toward him. His hand starts for the radio clipped to his vest.