Chapter 22 - Jules #2
"Listen to me. We will keep you safe. We will feed you.
We'll make sure you have somewhere safe to sleep, and nobody is leaving you behind.
If that's all you want from this life now, fine.
You can spend every day taking from the people around you while judging them for not meeting whatever ridiculous standard Mother programmed into your head. "
Her chin lifts again, but there's wetness gathering along her lower lashes now.
"That's going to be a pretty fucking bleak existence."
I step closer and lower my head until she has no choice but to meet my eyes.
"But if you want more, if you want a real family, happiness, people who will go to the wall for you and show you what actual love looks like, then leave the petty princess shit right here on this farm.
Get to know them. See the people I see instead of their clothes, their jobs, or the balance in their accounts.
Learn how to give back what they're going to give you. "
Her throat moves when she swallows.
"You don't have to become somebody else overnight. God knows I didn't. But you do have to start figuring out who you want to be when nobody gives a fuck that you're Briar Stillwell."
She stares at me for a long time, hurt and anger battling across her face. Remembering that she’s just a young girl who is scared keeps me from adding anything else. This won't fix her. One conversation sure as hell didn't fix me.
Briar spent fifteen years learning that people have rankings and love comes with conditions. It's going to take more than ten minutes beside a farm shed to tear that out by the roots. I step back and give her room.
"Think about it."
I leave her there before either of us can make things worse. Halfway across the yard I glance back and find her standing exactly where I left her. Her attention isn't on her dirty shoes or the people she's been judging anymore.
She's staring up at the moon. The enormous, cracked thing fills half the sky, and from this distance my sister looks very fucking small beneath it.
Elenor and Luna are kneeling beside an open plastic bin near the motorhome, pulling sealed packages from inside and stacking them into smaller piles. I walk over, needing something practical to occupy my head before guilt sends me back to Briar too soon.
Elenor takes one look at my face. "How's it going with little sister?"
I rub a hand down my jaw. "Fan-fucking-tastic. I gave a motivational speech, she rolled her eyes at me, and I resisted the urge to sell her to a neighboring farmer as slave labor."
"She'll come around." Elenor pats the ground beside the bin twice and waits for me to kneel down. "She needs to be shown more than told. Don't forget your own long journey to enlightenment, darling."
She gives me an exaggerated wink.
"What journey?"
"The one where it took years for you to understand you didn't have to hide behind that pretty little rich boy mask of yours."
I send her a sharp look, but she just looks right back with a soft challenge in her eyes.
Luna keeps her head down, but her shoulders shake suspiciously as she sorts packages.
"I never hid behind anything."
"Of course not." Elenor reaches into the tote and hands Luna another stack. "You emerged from the womb perfectly self-actualized with a trust fund in one hand and a sarcastic remark in the other."
"That sounds accurate."
Luna snorts into the open bin while Elenor smiles at me. "You had years to figure yourself out, Jules. That girl has been dropped into the deep end with sixteen other crises stacked on top of her. Give her time."
My gaze goes back to Briar. She hasn't moved from beside the shed, but her arms aren't locked across her chest anymore. Elenor’s right, and some of the frustration lifts so I nod once and turn back to the open tote. "What's all this?"
Luna holds up one of the sealed packages. "Masks. We all need to keep some on us just in case the ash cloud gets here before we're inside the mine. Gigi says once it starts falling heavily, we don't want to be breathing any of it."
I take one and turn the package over in my hands. "I can’t believe it. This is it. Civilization collapses and fashion standards finally go with it."
"Oh, darling." Elenor presses a hand to her chest. "If anyone can make industrial respiratory protection look stylish, it will be you."
"Thank you! Finally, someone recognizes the true challenges I face."
Luna shakes her head and keeps sorting as Gage walks over carrying a coil of rope. He drops it beside the rest of the supplies and looks into the tote.
"What are those?"
Luna holds one out. "Ash masks. One for everybody to carry."
He takes it and studies the package.
Elenor makes a sympathetic noise. "Sorry to tell you this, gorgeous, but that beard is going to have to go."
Gage's head snaps up. "What?"
"These need a proper seal around your face to keep the ash out. All that magnificent lumberjack growth is going to make them useless." Elenor reaches up and brushes her fingers through the edge of his beard with a mournful sigh. "A terrible loss, but sacrifices must be made."
Gage looks genuinely offended as he rubs one hand over his beard. Now that is interesting. What interests me more is the tiny pout forming on Luna's mouth.
I look from her to Gage and back again. Oh, baby, you are not subtle at all.
I nudge her lightly with my elbow. "Sorry, Cin. No magic carpet ride from him now, but I'm sure he'll make it up to you in other ways."
Silence drops around the four of us. Luna's head turns very slowly toward me, and Gage goes completely still beside her. Elenor stares at my face for one beat before she howls with laughter.
"What?" Luna's cheeks go bright red. "What does that even mean?"
Color climbs up Gage's neck and he snaps, "Julian."
I smile pleasantly at him. He knows exactly what I'm doing, and that suits me perfectly. Luna's eyes get impossibly wide as understanding catches up with her, and both hands fly up.
"Oh my God! Jules!"
I should stop but it’s time to get this train moving on the tracks so I keep going.
"And if he doesn't make it up to you, don't worry." I give Gage a slow smirk. "The rest of us will pick up his slack."
His blue eyes lock onto mine and go hard, possessive irritation rolling through them so clearly that he might as well announce it out loud. Gage turns on one heel and stalks toward the barn without another word.
Luna watches him go, then whips back toward me with her mouth hanging open.
"You... I..."
I lift my eyebrows as she points at me with several threats fighting for first place behind her teeth, gives up on all of them, and spins away.
Her frilly socks flash above her work boots as she marches in the exact opposite direction Gage went, moving fast enough that her babydoll dress bounces around her thighs.
They go in two different directions, which is exactly what I expected. Both of them are still firmly in the avoidance phase of what I’ve decided is going to be our reality.
Elenor is still chuckling beside me. She pats my arm as we watch Luna retreat.
"Keep it up, darling, and your sister won't be the only girl to come around to your way of thinking."
I watch Gage disappear into the barn, then Luna vanishes around the side of the motorhome and a slow smile spreads across my face.
"That's what I'm counting on."