Chapter 29 - Luna
I can’t believe it only takes two more hours for Gage to finish up the pillars and the roof of the new livestock shelter.
The cattle are already inside and happily eating away at the grass.
Stu brought his welder up and he and one of the carpenters from Delford managed to put together a pretty decent gate from a small pile of old fencing material that was behind one of the service sheds by the time Gage was finished up.
Someone had even brought up a trough and Jules had used his magic to fill it with water, which had returned. Mars said his did too.
What we don't have yet is material to cover the space above the gate or the other open section on the opposite end.
The cattle experts had decided that needed to be left open to let light in.
It was Milton that came up with the idea of getting reinforced plastic sheeting to cover that side, so we added that to the list of supplies to get from town.
By five the trucks and trailers are empty.
Gigi and Kara got a bunch of the rest of the group to work unloading and stacking everything along the west wall of the bay in a long row that looks impressive until you remember it has to feed forty people and the livestock.
The food and dry goods sit in one block, with feed and seed in another.
Tools and parts fill the end of the row.
The cargo trailers are bare metal boxes now, perfect to take to town and fill right back up with supplies to bring back.
The motorhome is finally clear enough that four or five people can sleep in it tonight if needed.
Supper happens in two halves, which I notice and decide not to say anything about for now. It’s a rush job because we all know there’s a lot left to do tonight.
Milton had opened up the dry stores and the walk-in freezers for the Delford group.
Some of the bus people take over the commercial kitchen and put some food together to get their people fed.
Our side eats the chili that Gigi had made in the motorhome.
The smell of that chili wafting is a little piece of familiar comfort against all this new.
From where I’m sitting on the edge of a table with my bowl in both hands I watch the badlands go gold through two storeys of glass.
The clock over the buffet says six but it feels like midnight.
"Alright." Anders sets his spoon down and lifts his voice over the room. "Anybody coming to town, we're rolling in twenty minutes. We've got three hours of decent light and I for one want to be back here behind closed doors before dark."
Chairs scrape all over the room. Torrin pulls a napkin toward him and starts writing, and half the table leans in over his arm.
"Dry goods, canned goods – those need to be a priority," Gage says. "Before the stores get cleaned out. Probably perishable groceries too that we can use up in the short term. Pillows, blankets, towels, cleaning supplies. We’re going to need lots of that stuff. The people from Delford didn’t have a chance to get any of that stuff from their homes when their town disappeared so they’ll need clothes and personal supplies. "
"The reinforced greenhouse poly from the ag store that Milton mentioned," Mars taps the napkin twice.
"Can someone come with me to help at the pharmacy?" Andrea pipes up. "I want to hit it up for medical supplies, vitamins, that sort of thing, but I’ll need help, at least one person."
"Good call, Andrea," Gigi says from the end of the table without looking up from her bowl. "Put furnace filters on the list too. Every size they carry, and every roll of cheesecloth in that store. You will thank me in a few days."
Nobody argues with her, which tells me that everyone has learned not too.
"Campers," Reid says.
He says it quietly, but Jules picks it up and runs with it. "Campers. There were four dealerships. I remember one of them had a row of fifth wheels sitting right along the road."
"How are we moving them?" Torrin asks.
"They move their own inventory so there should be vehicles there.
" Tanner has come up behind our table with a coffee in his hand, and every head at it turns.
He nods down at the napkin. "Lot trucks, delivery rigs, something.
There'll be keys in an office or a lockbox.
If there aren't, we'll get them running anyway.
" He takes a drink. "I've got four guys who can drive whatever's sitting on that lot.
You want campers, we'll bring you campers. "
There's a pause that runs a half second longer than it should before Anders says, "That's a real help. Thank you."
Tanner tips his chin and walks back toward his own table. I look into my bowl and try to work out why that man makes me nervous but come up empty.
The list gets long, quickly. Milton leans over it and starts naming sizes and brands nobody else at this table would have known to ask for. Then the twenty minutes are gone, everyone has been given assignments and is standing up.
This is the part I've been thinking on since we started eating.
They're all going. Gage, Torrin, Mars, Jules and Reid plus every person here who can lift and drive is going to be out on that road. I’ve spent the last ten minutes quietly trying to reason out why I should be in one of those trucks.
There's no reason for me to be in one. I can't drive a rig with a trailer behind it, and I wouldn’t be much use carrying mattresses. What I can do is stay here and organize.
That’s what I tell myself, but the truth is I want to go because I don’t want them to leave me again.
My body already knows how this goes. It happened in my own kitchen last night, when they said the word leaving and I came apart in front of everyone.
My therapist has a name for it, fear of abandonment.
Knowing the name of it hasn’t stopped the spiral of panic that runs through me when somebody picks up a set of keys.
They're going twenty minutes down a road we drove this afternoon. To a town with people still living in it. They’ll be back before dark. I can do this.
I set my bowl down and stand up.
"I'm staying."
Five heads turn at once.
"I'm staying here," I say again, because the first one came out too weak to count. "There's no sense in me riding along to stand in a parking lot. A few of us need to start getting to work on organizing this space anyway so when loads of supplies start coming in there’s somewhere for them to go."
Gage's eyes narrow, running over me the way he does when he's checking for damage. "Luna?"
"I'm fine." I press my palms flat against my thighs so nobody can see them shake. "I'm not fine but I’m being fine anyway. Those are two different things, and I want credit for the second one."
Nobody laughs at that. Torrin gives me a look of understanding.
"That's my girl," he says quietly.
Then they're all moving, jackets and keys and somebody hollering about a missing pair of work gloves. Gigi catches my eye from across the room and gives me the smallest nod with an expression of pride in it for me.
I walk with them down through the bay because I to stay with them as long as possible.
The big doors are rolled halfway up and the light coming under them is orange and going fast, throwing long shadows across the grey floor.
Trucks idle out on the apron. Mars and Torrin are arguing about which way to come back in.
Anders is counting cash out of his wallet that I doubt he’ll be needing to spend in this new economy.
"Cin."
Reid has my elbow with Jules is a step behind him.
"Come here a minute?" Reid asks me.
He steers me around the back corner of the motorhome, out of everybody's sightline. Jules comes with us and stops just behind his shoulder. There's barely room for the three of us between the bumper and the rock wall.
My pulse takes off at a fast beat at the seriousness on their faces. "What's wrong? Did something happen?"
"No." Reid's throat moves. His hands are clenched into fists at his sides and his breathing has gone short and fast. "Nothing's wrong except I've been telling myself I'd do this for years and I can’t wait another minute."
"Reid, I don't know what you're..."
He kisses me.
He steps in, takes my face in both hands, and kisses me.
This is not the boy who kissed me in the dark during a game of capture the flag.
His mouth is soft and completely certain this time.
One thumb strokes along my jaw, and I hear the small sound I make against his lips from somewhere outside my own body.
For a moment, my world becomes the feel of his lips against me and deep inside of me, my light wakes up and starts to hum.
It isn't the flare it does when I'm frightened or upset.
This one is gentle. A soft buzzing spreads through my ribs and down my arms before it settles into a gentle warmth under the skin of my palms where they're pressed to the front of his jacket.
I've never felt it do this. I don't have one second to wonder about it, because Reid tilts his head and kisses me deeper and I stop being able to think at all.
When he pulls back it's only far enough to rest his forehead against mine. Both of us are breathing hard enough to hear.
"Cherry," he whispers, shaky and delighted. "You still taste like cherry."
I have nothing. There isn't one word in my whole head.
Reid smooths his thumb over my cheekbone, presses another soft kiss to the corner of my lips, and steps back.
Then there's a hand at my waist, turning me.
Jules doesn't hurry. That's always been the thing about him. He walks me back into the cold metal of the motorhome and takes his time. One hand slides up to curve around the side of my neck, his thumb resting under my jaw to tip it up. He looks at my mouth long enough that I feel it in my knees.
"Do you remember what I asked you on the deck when you gave us our birthday presents?" His voice has dropped into something low and rough. "I asked you to come with us...to BE with us. You said not yet."
The scene comes back to me all at once. I see his hand on my cheek, Reid sitting up to take my fingers with his whole heart showing in his face, and me stepping back with my eyes burning.
"I remember," I whisper.
"I've been waiting a long time on your answer."
Then his mouth comes down on mine, and the floor drops out of the world.
Jules kisses the way he does everything else, with absolute certainty.
His hand tightens at the back of my neck.
My fingers find the front of his shirt without any instruction from me.
When his tongue slides against mine I make a noise that I'll be thinking about for the rest of my life, and I feel him smile into it.
The buzzing comes up again, stronger this time, rolling out under my skin everywhere he's touching me.
When he lets go I have to put a hand back on the motorhome to stay standing.
Jules brushes his knuckles down my burning cheek, and there's something almost tender hiding under all that satisfaction.
"We'll be back soon," he says.
Reid squeezes my fingers once, that quick nervous press of his. Then the two of them walk away around the front of the motorhome, and their voices fold into the noise out on the apron.
I stay exactly where I am.
Cold metal against my back, lips buzzing and my legs feeling like they’re noodles. Two of them kissed me inside of two minutes. I press the tips of my fingers against my lips and try to get my breathing to steady. A laugh comes out of me, high and a little unhinged.
I'm still standing there with a stupid grin on my face when I turn my head and see Gage is at the other end of the motorhome.
He isn't moving. One hand rests on the corner panel and he's just standing there, highlighted against the orange light coming in through the big doors. His stillness tells me he has been there long enough, and my grin dies at the stony look on his face.
"Gage."
He doesn't say anything. He doesn’t have to.
I can see the thoughts on his face plain as day.
First comes something raw that I can only read as betrayal, and it knocks the air straight out of me.
That slides into a sadness heavy enough that I nearly cross the ten feet between us to put my hands on him.
What comes last is worse than the first two because there's no heat in it at all.
I see a man finally setting something down because he's worked out exactly what it weighs.
He gives me one short nod. Then he's gone around the corner, and the engines start up out on the apron, and I'm left standing alone behind a motorhome with my heart slamming in my throat.