Chapter 23 #3
He chuckled softly before dropping his head again. “You know, when he wouldn’t move you, I asked the Ember Warden to swap me with another Unit Leader for this team?”
“What?” she sputtered, any trace of levity vanishing. “Why? You’re the wolf in Fang Unit. You’re our Unit Leader.” She gestured toward the ground below. “You’re their Unit Leader. We need you. Not some other Vessel or Guide.”
When he looked up, his expression was tight with pain, his brows drawn together.
“The Ember Warden refused, anyway, but...how can I lead you? How can I be responsible for all of you if… if…” He turned his back to her, both hands raking through his hair before he faced her again.
“If you’re the only thing on my mind from the moment I wake up until I fall asleep. ”
“Fenn,” she whispered, reaching for his hand, but he pulled away before she could touch him.
“It’s wrong, Rynna. Even with whatever strange past life experience you’ve had…
you’re still a student. And I’m still your Unit Leader.
I’m supposed to be teaching you, all of you.
But most days, all I do is watch you. The way you move, the way you laugh, the way you do more for the team than I ever have.
It’s not some great opportunity I’m offering, letting you teach them.
” He clenched his fists, his voice breaking.
“It’s because I’m not capable of anything else. ”
“Hey.” She lifted his chin. “Look at me, Fenn.”
His gaze met hers, but it was clouded, like a man lost at sea, adrift with no sense of direction.
“I’m sorry,” she continued, her voice steady.
He snorted and tried to turn away, but she caught his face between her hands, holding him in place.
“I’m sorry you’ve felt this conflict for the last six months.” She paused, her thumb brushing his cheek. “I understand. Seeing you, being so close, and not…” She sighed, biting her lip. “It’s been hard.” Her voice softened. “But do you think, maybe, we’re making it harder than it needs to be?”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you think the reason it’s been so difficult is because we’re trying so hard to play these roles we were never meant to play? At least with each other?”
“It’s wrong,” he muttered.
“You know what?” She traced the rough stubble on his cheek, mirroring the way he’d touched her in the barn. “I don’t think I believe that. Do you?”
He exhaled.
“We’re stuck together here on Fang Unit. Neither of us chose it. But here we are, each with our own missions and duties,” she said quietly.
Rynna wasn’t sure if she’d ever done anything so selfish, but she wanted this man more than she’d ever wanted anything that she could remember. Would taking him for herself endanger her Mission? Possibly endanger the whole world? She didn’t know, and right then, she didn’t care.
“Can we have both Fang Unit and each other?” she asked. “Or at least see if it’s something we actually want?”
“You’re serious? You’d actually want me…like that? More than just a stolen night to relieve your…anxiety?” he asked with a faint snort, one hand lifting, traces edges of one metal canine.
“You can’t be that stupid.” She rolled her eyes as her hands slid down his front, savoring the hard lines of his body beneath her fingertips before she let her hands fall to her sides. “Or blind.”
She wanted to murder the Elders in that moment. For hurting him. For making him doubt that even one such as her would not want him for more than just a night.
“What if it doesn’t work out?” His voice was hesitant. “What if you change your mind?”
“What if you die tomorrow?” Rynna countered. “Nobody wins the ‘what if’ game. And do I seem like the kind of person who changes her mind?”
He looked away, doubt clouding his eyes. “But what if I make a mistake because I’m worried about you, and one of them dies?”
Ah, she thought. This is his real worry, beneath whatever made him reach for those strange, gleaming teeth.
“I won’t let you.” She pushed all the TRUTH of the universe into her voice, becoming more than just a woman. “You have my word.”
“Void rot, Rynna.” He reached for her hand. “I feel like I have no other choice but to believe you.”
You don’t, she thought. It is TRUTH.
“Are you sure?” he asked again, pulling her closer, hand shifting to the band of her pants. “Anything between us would need to remain a secret while you’re in my unit. At least for now.”
She shrugged, pressing her hips into him, her heart pounding as she reached around his waist. “Fenn, I’ll take you any way I can get you.”
“Gods, Rynna.” His hands gripped her ass, and in one swift motion, he lifted her onto his hips and spun to pin her against the rough bark of the tree. “I…”
“Guide Fenn!” Bran’s voice pierced the air from below the canopy. “Guide? Are you up there?! I think I’ve got it!”
“You’re not even close!” Elara’s voice followed, sounding exasperated. “He’s not even close, Guide Fenn! But I have a couple of questions! Where are you?!”
A deep laugh reverberated in his chest, vibrating through her body as his head fell beside hers, resting against the tree.
“Of all the times to start training you all in Source power.” He pulled back just enough to meet her gaze, though his body remained pressed firmly against hers.
“I’m sorry, Rynna, but I think I’m going to have to leave you ‘hot and bothered’ up in this tree.
” He grinned mischievously, grinding into her just a little harder.
“But if it’s any consolation, I’m equally hot. ..and very, very bothered.”
“Fenn!” She groaned.
“We will pick this up later,” he growled, carefully lowering her to her feet before disappearing from view.
“Fuck, yes,” she whispered, sinking to her knees, slick between her thighs, and shaking with need. “Fuck, yes.”