Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
Brynn
My heart is in my throat. I want to vomit and cry and…I don’t know what else. It’s like I’m walking around in a bad dream.
Arson? Jack almost died because someone wanted to start a fire in the barn.
I focus on holding Jack’s hand until they get him loaded into the ambulance.
I can barely breathe. The paramedics move quickly, their faces tight with focus, but it feels like everything is happening in slow motion.
My heart pounds in my chest, and my hands shake as I stand frozen, watching them close the doors.
I tell myself it’s because he works for us, because we’re liable for anything that happens on the ranch, but deep down, I know that’s a lie.
How in the hell did I develop feelings for this man?
I mean, maybe I really don’t have feelings for him, but I don’t want him to die less than an hour after we had mind-blowing sex.
I watch as the ambulance drives away. I stand there, wrapping my arms around myself and staring off into space.
Who could have done this?
Clay. It has to be Clay.
Did he know that Jack and I slept together? He’s so crazy that…
I clear my throat and shake my head.
I’m thinking crazy thoughts. Whereas Clay is my normal go-to when shit hits the fan, I don’t think he’s capable of this.
My mind races, rapid-firing through possibilities. It’s not Clay, the circuit is in Oklahoma, and it’s not possible that he made it to Hicks Creek since the last time I talked to him. He wouldn’t ditch a ride for anything.
He might send his asshole brother or one of his friends, though.
Shit. Maybe it’s Lane.
Lane is just as unhinged as his brother. He’s got a temper, and I’m certain he’s not thrilled about being fired. Whereas I don’t think he’d commit arson, there’s something to be said that he was the second face that popped into my head.
No, if it were Lane doing this as payback for getting fired, he would have gone for one of the other barns. The one he hit wasn’t as big of a loss as the other ones would have been.
Unless he was caught before he could set the other ones on fire.
I can’t stop the thoughts, can’t shut down the fear clawing at my chest. My stomach churns as I try to piece together who might have done this and why. But I have no proof, just a gut feeling that’s screaming at me.
“Brynn, we need to go,” Dad’s voice cuts through my haze, pulling me back to the present. I nod numbly and head to my truck.
“I’ll stay behind,” Nick calls out as he jogs over to my truck. “I’ll take care of everything here with the investigator and the sheriff. You guys get to the hospital. Keep me posted. I’ll get there as soon as I can.”
Dad, Paulo, Trevor, and Stan, our other ranch hands, and Olivia climb into my truck.
The drive is a blur. My fingers grip the steering wheel so tightly my knuckles turn white.
The silence in the truck is suffocating, filled with all the things I can’t say.
I’m sure everyone thinks I’m just upset because Jack works for us, because he’s part of the ranch.
They don’t see it. They don’t know. And I can’t let them.
“I don’t know how we didn’t see him,” Trevor mutters.
“The smoke was so thick,” Stan says.
“He ran in there before any of us did. I wondered how the Brama bull got out, then thought what a wild thought to have in the middle of the chaos,” Paulo says.
I smile to myself.
Good to know we all have those wild, intrusive thoughts.
The Brama is our most expensive bull. He’s our biggest breeder and rules the roost. He has his own section of that barn specifically because he’s cantankerous in his old age. When Dad takes cattle to auction, we can set a higher price because of his lineage.
Shit. Lane would know that, and it could absolutely be why that barn was attacked.
I sigh inwardly and try to push those thoughts away. My focus should be on driving, getting us to the hospital safely, and making sure that Jack is okay. Not playing Scooby Doo and trying to figure out who did this. That can come later.
We pull into the parking lot and walk into the waiting room.
“Should I call his mom or Joanne?” I ask out loud.
“Rick said he called Joanne,” Dad answers.
Dad goes up to the front desk to let the nurse there know that we’re here for Jack. The waiting room feels like a cage. The air is thick with worry, and every tick of the clock grates against my nerves.
Mrs. Renfrew, Joanne, Ava, and Bret scurry into the hospital. The kids are still in their pajamas and plop down on the chairs around Olivia.
“Have you heard anything?” Mrs. Renfrew asks.
Dad shakes his head. She walks over to the nurse with Joanne in tow. A few minutes later, a doctor walks out.
“Jack has internal bleeding from blunt force trauma to the abdomen. We’re going to perform surgery to fix it. I’ll be back out to let you know how everything goes.”
My legs feel like they’re going to give out, but I force myself to stay standing. Mrs. Renfrew clutches at her chest, and Joanne puts her arm around her, then helps her to sit down.
“He’s tough,” Joanne whispers. “He’ll pull through.”
I nod as if she’s talking to me, swallowing the lump in my throat. I can’t fall apart. Not here. Not now. I sit down across from them, trying to blend into the background. Dad is pacing and talking to the other hands about what needs to be done tomorrow.
“Remember when he saved that dog from the sewer?” Joanne asks with a giggle.
“It smelled so bad, but he didn’t care. He watched that horrible human being drop that puppy in there, and he went after it.” Mrs. Renfrew says as she shakes her head. Her eyes meet mine. “He’s always had such a big heart. He can’t stand to see anyone else hurting.”
“Always the first to help out. He and Jason changed their treehouse into a doll hous of sorts for me, saying they were too old for the treehouse. Jack was helping me into it, and I slid. He tried to save me and ended up breaking his arm,” Joanne adds.
“He’s always been like that,” his mom says, her voice soft but steady. “He cares so much, but he’s always tried to hide it. Keeps himself closed off, like he’s afraid of getting hurt. He’s always been the one to shoulder everything for the rest of us.”
Joanne nods. “That’s just Jack. He’s got the biggest heart, but he doesn’t want anyone to see it. That’s why he went to help Jason, then sacrificed so much to stay there and help raise Tate.”
I sit there, listening, my heart aching with every word.
They’re showing me sides of him I’ve never seen, pieces of a puzzle I’ve been trying to put together for so long.
And yet, I can’t let myself show how much it matters.
To them, I’m just part owner, the boss. I’m upset because he’s part of the team, because it’s my responsibility. That’s all they see.
“He really closed off after he learned Savannah…cheated on him,” Mrs. Renfrew says. “I don’t know…I don’t know if he’ll ever come back from that. He’s so sad.”
Inside, I’m unraveling. Every story they tell, every memory they share, it’s like a knife twisting in my chest. I want to scream, to cry, to tell them that Jack is more to me than they could ever imagine.
Do I only feel this way because he almost died? Am I in shock and this is some weird syndrome I’ve never heard of? Like Stockholm syndrome, but different?
That’s got to be it.
I’ve known this man for only a week, really. I can’t be having any sort of feelings for him at all.
I mean, I can feel some sort of way about how he devoured me, but…focus, Brynn.
The waiting drags on, every minute stretching into an eternity.
I keep glancing at the doors, waiting for someone to come out and tell us he’s okay.
I stand up and start pacing. After about ten minutes, I sit down next to Joanne.
I reach down and squeeze her hand, offering silent comfort, but it only makes the ache worse.
I’m supposed to be the strong one, the one who keeps it together.
But right now, I feel like I’m falling apart.
And I cannot allow anyone to see that.
Finally, a doctor comes out, his expression serious but not grim. “Jack is out of surgery,” he says, and the room lets out a collective breath. “We were able to stop the bleeding, but he’s not out of the woods yet. He’ll need to be monitored closely for the next twenty-four hours.”
Relief floods through me, but it’s tempered by the weight of his words.
Not out of the woods yet. I cling to the hope that Jack will fight, that he’ll pull through, but the fear doesn’t go away.
I glance around the room at Joanne, his mom, and the kids, all of them holding onto each other, drawing strength from one another.
And I’m here, on the outside, trying to keep my emotions in check, trying not to let anyone see how much this is tearing me apart.
“Can we see him?” Mrs. Renfrew asks.
“You can, but only two at a time. And just immediate family.”
“I’ll stay with the kids until you get back, and then we’ll head home,” I say to Joanne.
She reaches out and squeezes my hand. “Thank you.”
She pulls back and helps her mother out of the chair. They follow the doctor behind the doors, and I go sit down next to the kids.
I’m in a daze but putting on a brave face for the kids and everyone around.
The thought of losing Jack—of never getting the chance to explore how I feel, or how he feels after…what we just did—is more than I can bear.