Chapter 14
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
nyx
PRESENT DAY
My knees instantly buckle from underneath me as the memory flashes through my mind, and he reaches out to me but instinct brought on by his betrayal has me shoving him with force against the wall.
“You get the fuck away from me.” My teeth are clenched so hard I might crack my molars - I’m fucking seething at him.
Every wall inside me starts to crumble to the ground, the foundations never strong to begin with, but at least I could rebuild them when I felt them weakening.
One look at him, and I literally can't find the strength to do it. “That’s no way to thank someone who just saved your life.” His voice is laced with amusement. Bastard.
“Save my life?” I scoff, fists tightening at my sides.
“You ruined it, and you lied to me - about everything!
You let me think you were fucking dead. But you've been here all along? Shackled up with the very threat you and I fought against.” I yell, my anger not even needing time to get kick started, as it soars over the shock and the temporary bliss the memory gave when I heard his voice, knocking it clean out of my system.
His laugh is dark, reverberating off the walls like a slow-moving thunder.
But I don’t miss the flex of his jaw, like fleeting tension as he glances to the ground.
He leans back effortlessly, settling against the wall with arms folded, legs crossed at the ankle.
He’s projecting an image of utter nonchalance.
Like this conversation barely registers as a concern to him, like seeing me after four years is nothing.
And yet, in this moment, I finally see him, the real Nocturne.
The one I wanted so hard not to believe in.
The one I’ve dreaded acknowledging. The realization fractures something deep inside me.
“A necessary evil, Brodie. You're looking fucking great by the way. Better than I remember.” I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut, I falter and take another step to the side.
Who the hell is this man? I steel myself as I truly let myself take him in; he's so vastly different to what I came to know and love. I fear that maybe that guy did get to me, and I’m bleeding out on the floor right now - hallucinating.
My desperate eyes roll over him, dressed in black dress trousers, a white button up shirt and matching black waist coat – nothing how I remembered him.
His inked hands I know so well - that I had let roam on every inch of my skin - stand stark against the pureness of his shirt.
He looks to have had some new additions as I spy the swirl of ink poking out from the collar at his neck.
His hair is trimmed sharp at the sides, leaving a messy tousled look on the top, his fringe just brushing the top of his forehead in styled curls.
He looks like a true Russian crime prince. The kind you swoon over in books but know that, in reality, they'll break your heart. Lucky for me, I already played this game four years ago.
“I don’t believe this, this isn't you. What the hell happened to you Lev? I feel like I don't even know you.” My voice strains as I bite back the tears, I can't allow another one to fall for him, not after the knowledge I’ve gained. Something inside him stirs at me saying his name - it was a slip of the tongue. His demeanor softens just a touch, a fleeting moment from the past that we both shared. When he was Lev, not Nocturne, and I was Brodie. He doesn’t allow it to remain for long.
I see the exact moment the darkness mists back over.
“There's a whole lotta things you don't know about, Brodie.
If you're still as smart as I remember, you'll stay the fuck away.” And there it is, the moment that fully cracks my heart into something irreparable. I slap him across the face, and he allows it. He has the audacity to smirk at me as I go for another when he catches my wrist and throws me into the wall, grabbing my other hand and pinning them above my head. This is the worst position for me to be in, I’m so close to him I can smell that familiar scent of him: woody and smoky, mixed with spice.
My body trembles. I used to bathe in his scent every morning after our nights spent together.
I force myself to shove him away, but all the fight in me is gone, intoxicated by his proximity.
His grip tightens around my wrists, his breathing deep and almost erratic, like he's trying to calm himself.
“Let me go,” I say, my voice deceiving me with a slight tremble in the bass.
He stares at me, like a beast about to play with its meal.
His thumb brushes over the jagged skin on the end of my wrist and he tenses; he doesn't even move an inch as his eyes drag from mine to my scar.
“Let me fucking go.” My words have his eyes snapping back to mine, reeling him back from whatever trance he was locked into, the storm inside them brewing wildly around the iris.
He slowly releases the grip on my hands, and just as he lowers his own I take a swipe at his feet, pushing him down - but he takes me with him.
I land on top of him, the force of the fall expelling the air in my lungs, or maybe it’s just the position I’m in with him.
My knee readies to target his balls to get an advantage whilst my lungs refill, but he overpowers me, and I'm flipped and pinned underneath his enormous form.
Wetness coats my back, and my wig sticks to the ground as I remember the dead guy right next to us - his blood that’s spread out underneath us.
I buck and push, sliding in the red liquid now coating my skin, trying anything to get him off but he's just so strong I can't get him to move - it’s like a concrete beam is trapped on top of me. “Brodie! Fucking stop.” I deflate against the ground as my name leaves his lips, like it was delivered wrapped in silk. My chest heaves as I’m pulled to stare into his eyes again. I really need to stop doing that.
He can completely disarm me with one look.
Even after all this time, I’m weak for him.
“You left me.” My throat is raw with emotion.
I let the pain release from me, almost sounding like a caterwaul, turning my head to the wall, hoping if I don't look at him, he'll disappear, and this swell of familiar feeling and grief I’m biting back vanishes with him.
If I can't see him, he won't see the tears forming in my eyes.
“You have no idea what I’ve done Brodie, if you did-”
My manic laugh stops whatever poison was about to spill from him.
“I know enough, Noc.” He goes to argue back, but his lips close, eyes darting between mine instead - sealing in whatever lie he was looking to pour over me.
“Exactly. You left me. There's no excuse good enough that I’d ever accept it from you. You fucking ruined me. I grieved for you.” I manage to break away from the curse his eyes threaten to hold me under.
My voice is below a whisper, “I’ll never forgive you. ”
He gently wraps his fingers around my chin, turning my head to him, eyes roaming my face for what feels like an eternity, conflicted with himself before he whispers, “Fuck it.” He crashes his lips to mine, and my traitorous body allows him right back in.
We're a clash of tongues and teeth, my hands going into his hair as I tug on it, making a feral noise thunder inside him.
I spread my legs out, letting him sink deeper towards me and he grinds himself against me.
His hand roams from where he had my biceps pinned to the ground and glides over my breast, yanking my dress down to expose them.
He leans back to admire them, his gaze dripping in hunger whilst I squirm under the heat.
His mouth comes down, forcing me to moan as his lips wrap around the sensitive peak, sucking and licking before he gives it a quick nip, soothing over the sting with his wet tongue.
He leans back, tugging me by my ankles as I slide to him, my dress gliding through the blood as I pull myself to get to him.
He yanks me against his chest as I straddle his muscular legs, our lips missing the lack of connection as we crash together once more.
My subconscious screams at me that I’m out of my damn mind - and I am.
I feel like I’m in heaven, when I should be in hell.
My hands roam every inch of him, like they can't believe they've finally reclaimed their favorite entity to touch, the recognizable warmth radiating beneath them and bringing me to life.
His fingers spread as they trace the backs of my thighs, slowly teasing my dress up over the curve of my ass, his other hand sliding between my legs just as my mine rakes to the back of his waistband, my hand brushes the carbon - the reality forcing me from the spell he's captured me under.
The fog clears, and the switch flips to the cold-blooded killer I am.
Our kiss breaks apart and I drive my fist into his cheek with every ounce of force I have, the impact sending him crashing onto his side, I slide back on my knees and stand - adjusting my dress.
“Fucking hell, I should have expected that.” He looks up at me with a smile even the devil would be pleased with.
“Glad to see you're still a mischievous little thing.” A smoky, more controlled laugh comes from me when I take a step towards him, slowly lowering myself and letting one of my forearm’s dangle between my knees.
My legs are spread, exposing the fact I don't have any underwear on and his hungry eyes zone in, letting out what sounds like an involuntary growl when he realizes the easy access he just had.
His eyes snap to mine when he feels the barrel of his gun that I have in my hand pressed into the middle of his forehead.
“A lot has changed since you left me, Noc.
Take your own advice. It'd be wise for you not to try and fuck with me. I run in the darkness now too.”