Chapter 27 #2
We're letting her rest whilst we stock up the convoys and head back to the safe house to plot our next move.
She hasn't fully woken up once, and I've given Rodion an extra ten on top of the twenty grand already promised to stay close by should I need him.
She lays in the cot in her room, her breathing less of a crackle since he managed to remove some of the fluid and give her a sedative without fully having to go under because of the concussion.
I sit by her side, simply staring at her.
She rests so peacefully, and I wish she'd remain like that forever, because she'll wake up to the world on its axis, and peace will seem like a distant memory.
I don't know how I managed these years without her.
She's my obsession. Enraptured by her from the moment I spotted her at base five years ago, those blazing green eyes staring straight into my fucking soul.
There wasn't a second I didn't want to run to her.
Steal her away into the darkness and hide her from the world.
But it just wasn't feasible, and that's not Brodie.
I'll never forget when Volokov threw me off that cliff edge into the murky depths below.
Firing bullets past me in a final warning, as if taking a knife to her wrist wasn't enough. My name ripping free from her throat, and the look on her face is forever seared into my memory. I’ve seen it every night when I close my eyes since that day.
His men collected me further down the river, and I emerged as if I'd been baptized by Lucifer himself.
Determined to do whatever it took to protect her from Volokov and Graves.
I wouldn't stop until they no longer walked this earth, no matter how long it took. Every task he gave, I did it. The blood money I obtained over the years was just another step towards ensuring her safety, and planting the seed in Volokov that I’d fully ceded my loyalty to him.
Then, there was Natalia. Thinking about her feels the same way I imagine being buried alive does.
She came on to me like a bitch in heat, but she answered to her brother - I used that to my advantage.
If it meant that anytime I fucked her, she'd give me a little bit of information on what Volokov was up to, then it was a unwelcome means to an end.
Every time she touched me, I closed my eyes and imagined it was Brodie; it was the only way to get through it without retching.
She wanted more, wanted to sink her claws into me, and I let her think that she did.
I got more intel the more I strung her along, my only salvation being the fact her brother wouldn't let her mess with anyone in his inner circle.
Because he'd have been able to read from my face that her touch repulsed me.
Brodie stirs, causing my head to snap up. I lean in to push her matted hair from her face. Her unearthly eyes flutter open, those haunting emeralds pinning me in place, unsettling in their depths, like something ancient casting a spell on me that I never want broken.
“Hi,” her voice sounds small, breaking the hours of silence the walls have borne me in.
“Hey, beautiful,” I say, giving her a smile, my heart lurching that she seems more with us. “How are you feeling?” I ask.
She slowly pushes herself up, I shove all the pillows I threw behind her up higher so she can settle, but she still lets out a groan.
“Better than Volokov anyway.” There’s my girl.
“He got what he deserved anyways, well... a fraction of it.” She says, her wicked smile meets mine, the unease evaporating into the air with the way she looks at me.
Her brows knit together. “Are we at base? Where's Blitz?”
Shit. I don’t know how to tread around this with her.
Part of me wants to rip the plaster off and tell her, but she's only just woken up - that’s not going to work.
The silence bleeds between us, like a dark, thick ink poisoning the air.
Her features soften, and I selfishly hope that my non-existent response leads the way, because I don't want to bear this news to her, knowing what it will do. “Noc? Where is she?” Her voice is firm in its demand, but I can’t, can't bring myself to say it to her. It’s the one and only time I'll be a coward for her.
She throws the blanket off and tries to get up. Fuck she's fast. She wobbles as soon as she puts her weight on her feet, my hands grip her under her arms, “Brodie, you need to rest.” But she fights my hold, didn't Rodion give her sedatives?
“No, I’m going to see Blitz.” She gets up again, and I hold my hands on her shoulders, applying a little bit of pressure to keep her seated.
“Brodie …” my voice trails off as I stare into her eyes, and I can see the tears welling in them. Goddammit. “Blitz was shot.” My voice feels steadier than the words coming out of them.
She narrows a sharp glare at me. “I know, but you said she was being taken care of?” And there it is, the reason I don’t want to tell her: my white lie. I pull all the available oxygen in the room as I inhale, “We tried, Adam tried but- She just… we couldn't save her.”