Chapter 33 Ashton
ASHTON
I’m not sure when I fell in love with Allie Montgomery.
It was somewhere between fighting with her about her best friend at the bar and holding her against my chest on the sand as she asked me to take her pain away.
I wish I could remember the exact moment it happened.
If I knew, I would repeat it in my head over and over so I could never forget it.
I would make sure that even when I’m at the end of my life, and all the other memories have faded, I could hold onto that one because it would be burned in my subconscious and that doesn’t age.
The truth is there were too many moments that shaped my love for her, even in those early days.
There shouldn’t have been. We weren’t dating, and she hated me.
What I do know is that by the time I walked into that conference room and saw her hiding behind someone’s hair so I wouldn’t see her, I was already in love with her.
Nothing she said that day or any other could have changed that.
I was so close to telling her, and it almost felt like she was going to say it back, but then her phone rang, and when she answered it, her eyes went wide.
She’s been in a state of shock ever since.
I tried to ask her what happened, but she wouldn’t answer me.
She just keeps shaking her head and looking at something on her phone.
We finally pull into my driveway and put the car in park.
“Allie,” I turn to her. “Please, tell me what’s going on.”
She shakes her head again. I’m not sure she even realizes we’re back at my house.
“Allie,” I try again, taking her hand in mine. “Is it your mom?” Another shake. “Then what?”
“He found…” She looks up at me through her dark lashes, eyes glittering with unshed tears. “Him,” she chokes out.
My brows furrow. “Him? Was that my dad?” How would my dad even have her number? I didn’t give him all the details. I told him it was for a friend, and we made a deal. Why would he call Allie?”
“No,” she sniffles.
“Then what?” I gently graze her chin with my thumb. “Talk to me.”
“It was Nate.” She looks at me again, a mix of sadness and uncertainty on her face. “He found my dad.”
No.
Dread coils low in my belly. This can’t be happening.
She never told me she asked Nate to look for him.
Did he do it on his own without her knowing?
I don’t even care that I’m a raging hypocrite.
How could he do that? A sob breaks free from her, and she slumps down on top of me.
Her seatbelt is pressing against her chest, but she doesn’t seem to care.
I reach around to unclick it and hold her against me, running my fingers through her hair.
Suddenly, she sits up. Her glasses have fallen off, and bright crimson blotches start to form around her eyes. “I have to see him,” she whimpers. “I have to go now. Can you keep an eye on my mom?”
“Allie, wait.”
“No, Ash. I’ve been waiting. I’ve waited my whole fucking life. I have to know. I have to ask him.”
“Okay, okay. Just breathe.”
“You’re not fucking listening to me, Ashton. I want to see my father.” She rears back to open the car door, but I stop her with a hand on her arm.
“I know, baby. I know you do, but do you think it’s the best time to fly to Nashville? Everything with your mom—”
I feel it before I even look at her. The world crashing down around us. The earth swallowing us up from the ground. Allie moves back to face me, the car door still wide open. Her eyes flick to the phone in her lap before slowly moving back to land on my fingers wrapped around her arm.
“Allie.” She twists her shoulder, knocking my hand off in the process.
“How did you—”
“Baby.”
“Ashton, tell me you didn’t—” Her voice is shaking so much that it splits my heart in two.
She still can’t get the words out. Her eyes grow wide, understanding slowly taking its place. When she finally speaks, it’s a different question that she asks.
“How long?” Her voice is quiet now, but with an edge to it I’ve never heard.
When I don’t answer, she slams her hand against the dashboard. “How long have you fucking known, Ashton?”
“Almost a year.” My heart thumps, panic climbing up my torso, but I fight it back. “I found him about a week after the bonfire.”
She shakes her head, as if doing so will change anything. “Why?” she whispers, fresh tears falling down her face, staining the shirt she’s wearing.
My shirt.
“Allie, listen.”
“I don’t understand. Was it to get back at me for leaving you on the beach? Were you going to hold it over my head or something?”
“God, no. Allie, I would never—I tried to call you.”
“So it’s because I ghosted you? I spilled my guts out to you, Ashton. I was fucking ashamed, so I ignored your calls. It wasn’t fucking about you.”
“No, I—”
“Is that what you thought of me? Some poor, trashy girl with daddy issues?” she spits out.
“You found my dad so you could dangle it in front of me?” Long gone is the shock and confusion of moments ago.
In its place is white-hot anger, raging harder with each question.
“Did you laugh about it with your friends at the country club?”
“Allie, please.”
She won’t listen, or she can’t hear me. I’m not sure which. Suddenly, her face pales as her eyes go wide.
“Oh my God. Was the job a setup? Did you tell Emory about it knowing you were going to take over? So you could harass me?”
“No,” I answer honestly. “I told Em about the job, but I didn’t know Theo was going to get sick.”
She scoffs. “If he’s even sick.”
I look her straight in the eye. “I would never lie about that.”
“I didn’t think you would lie about anything.
Just a few hours ago, I was thinking about what a bad liar you would be.
” A bitter laugh escapes her lips. “God, I’m such an idiot.
How could I not have seen it? You lied about who Theo was to you.
You kept the fact that you saw my pills from me.
” She swings her legs around, snatching her glasses from the floor, and gets out of the car, slamming the door behind her. I follow, calling out to her.
She spins around. “When were you going to tell me?” I open my mouth, but she doesn’t give me a chance to answer.
“You wanted to fuck me first, right? Her eyes are wild, bluer than I’ve ever seen them—so blue the color reflects on the tears splashing off her lashes.
“You got a little taste and wanted more?”
She stalks closer to me, jabbing a finger into my chest so hard I need to take a step back to keep my balance. “I bet you didn’t plan on me falling for you either, but you lucked out. It must make the revenge taste even sweeter.”
“I’m so sorry, Allie.”
“Fuck you, Ashton. I don’t want an apology. I want you to stay out of my life.” Her voice cracks on the last word. “My letter of resignation will be on your desk on Monday morning.”
She turns around, stomping up the walkway, and I let her go. There’s nothing else I can do. If she knew the truth, it would only do more damage than what has already been done. She can hate me if it means he doesn’t get to break her heart all over again.