Chapter 9
The Answer is Unclear
Rose:
Holly:
Yep
Rose:
Will you actually be doing any swimming this time?
Or will it be more kissing?
Holly:
You can go off people
Rose:
Didn’t answer my question…
As Holly was thinking up a suitable response, a message from her brother popped up.
Luke:
What’s this about you and Owen kissing?
Holly groaned, and immediately flicked back to Rose’s message thread.
Holly:
You told Luke?
What’s wrong with you?
Rose:
Sorry!
He overheard us - I had to come clean
Holly:
There is this little thing called lying
Luke interrupted their text conversation again, annoying Holly further.
Luke:
Stop trying to corrupt my girlfriend
Holly didn’t bother replying to that message from her brother either. He and Rose were clearly right next to each other - so she messaged Rose instead.
Holly:
He’s reading your messages now?
We need to talk about boundaries, Rose.
Rose:
Have fun not swimming…
Holly slipped her phone into her bag, and shut her locker door with a satisfying click.
It was like her own little Faraday cage.
Blocking out any more interference from Rose and Luke was a necessity right now.
Rose had been studiously monitoring Holly and Owen’s interactions when she grilled her after each lesson.
She’d justified her incessant questioning by citing the challenge for her to find Holly a boyfriend before Natalie’s 4th birthday.
Most of the time, Holly didn’t mind though; she’d willingly give Rose a detailed account regardless of the challenge.
It had been so long since she’d had a friend she could confide in like this, and Holly was making the most of having Rose around.
She knew how easily the threads of life could shear apart.
Friends and loved ones could be here one moment and ripped from you in a heartbeat.
So secretly, instead of finding Rose’s probing questions annoying, Holly usually reveled in being able to chat with her friend.
Today though, she needed a minute to quiet her mind.
Things with Owen had started to stall since their kiss a couple of weeks ago, and not much more progress had been made, which had prompted Rose’s flurry of messages this morning.
But Natalie coming down with a stomach bug had squashed any hope of catching up with Owen between lessons, and after the heckling and an embarrassing reprimand from the manager of the leisure centre, who looked about eighteen, Holly had sworn off anything remotely amorous in the water.
But it didn’t stop her from daydreaming about it.
As she stepped into the, now welcoming, warmth of the water in the training pool, Owen waded over; her daydream come to life.
‘Ready to try a few strokes today?’ he asked.
Last week, she’d practised pushing away from the edge - into Owen’s arms. She wasn’t sure whether it actually was his teaching technique, or the feel of being enveloped in his embrace, but either way she excelled in that lesson.
‘I guess so?’ she offered, stumbling over the words a little. Pushing away from the edge was one thing. Actually swimming strokes felt akin to her competing in the Olympics.
‘You’ve got this, Hols. I’ve got you.’ Those three little words meant as much as the other three little words people usually wanted to hear.
And as the lesson progressed, Owen proved he was true to his words; he did have her.
By the end of the lesson she managed to move herself across the pool using a couple of strokes that, if you squinted, could be called breast stroke.
She didn’t acknowledge the fact she was only able to do that if she had Owen’s hands hovering just out of touch in the water beneath her.
But it was still something she’d never dreamed of achieving a few months ago.
*
All too soon their lesson was over. Stepping out of the locker room, twenty minutes later, Holly had to stifle a scream when strong arms pulled her away from the reception area and into a small office.
‘Owen!’ she managed, when her pulse had calmed down enough to speak.
‘Sorry, Hols. I just didn’t want you to sneak off and then not see you for another week,’ he stroked her damp hair away from her face, ‘I miss being able to touch you like I can in the water. And I know Natalie has been unwell, but is it OK to admit I’ve missed you and want more time with you?’
‘I think it’s actually pretty unfair,’ she responded, smiling at his confusion, ‘you get to touch me all you want in the water, but I hardly get to touch you.’ The confined space she found herself in, seemed to be making Holly’s tongue loose.
Whatever Owen had been about to say, or do, was interrupted by the pubescent looking manager, barging her way into the office.
‘Owen,’ the woman barked out, ‘there are three irritated parents waiting for the 11:00 swim lesson to start.’ Glaring at them both for what felt like a full minute, but was more likely a handful of seconds, she stormed out of the office, slamming the prefab door behind her.
‘Coming,’ he called morosely to the door that greeted him as he started to move away from Holly. When she laughed, Owen turned back to her and pulled her in tight to his warm chest, ‘I’m struggling to find the humour here, Hols.’
And because he looked so sad, she pulled him towards her and kissed him.
The rush of butterflies she’d felt during their first kiss in the pool was missing this time, confusing Holly as she started to pull back.
But as his lips moved against hers, she relaxed.
It felt nice. Comforting. She liked kissing him.
She just hoped she’d be able to convince him to hang around for a bit longer.
*
‘And then Uncle Luke let me drive the car–’
‘I did not let her drive the car, Holly,’ Luke interrupted Natalie, and she loved hearing the hint of panic in his voice.
‘You did. I moved the wheel.’ Natalie stared at him, the confusion written all over her little face.
‘It was stationary, Holly,’ Luke added, looking a little exasperated now.
‘It’s OK, Luke. I know you wouldn’t actually let her drive.’ She patted her brother on the shoulder and then held out a hand to Natalie. ‘Come on, we’ve scared Uncle Luke enough for today, time to head home.’
As Natalie scrabbled around to collect her dolls and ponies, Holly sidled up to Rose, who had also been reveling in Luke’s distress - it was another reason Holly loved her - she finally had someone else to tease her brother with.
‘I swam two strokes today.’ Holly raised her eyebrows to push the point home.
‘Amazing. Anything else of note happen?’
‘Rose, please. Can this conversation not be within my earshot?’ Luke grimaced.
‘That’s rich, seeing as I had to witness you shirtless, with my best friend–’
‘I’m your best friend?’ Rose interrupted, her hand flying up to her heart.
‘Of course.’ Holly shrugged. Although she hadn’t told Rose, she assumed that was obvious.
‘Well… you’re my best friend too,’ Rose said, with an affection Holly had definitely missed hearing until Rose moved to the Bay earlier that year.
‘Well, obviously.’
‘You two are so annoying,’ Luke groaned, but he pulled Rose in for a kiss.
‘But you love us anyway,’ Holly teased.
‘I love her,’ he pointed to Rose, ‘You - that’s still under advisement.’
‘Whatever, loser,’ Holly said, using her fingers to make a W and then a L.
‘How old are you, twelve?’
‘Loser says what?’ Holly spoke quickly to try and get Luke to fall for her trap.
‘You know, I don’t think you’ve ever been as attractive as you are right now,’ Rose said to Luke as he started to stick his tongue out at Holly. ‘Text me later?’ she added to Holly as she tugged Luke away.
Holly nodded, and gently moved her daughter out of the bookshop.
Natalie raced ahead, and was inside the pub before Holly had even made it across the street.
By the time she stepped inside as well, Natalie was nowhere to be seen.
But she could be heard. Holly followed the sound to find her daughter in the kitchen, chatting away to Seb whilst setting up her ponies on the floor at his feet.
‘And then Mummy and Ow-en–’
‘Natalie Sandra Loxley, what did we say about tattling?’ Holly cut her off, dreading what she was about to say. The possibilities were endless, and nearly all would be embarrassing.
‘Sorry, Mummy,’ but instead of stopping, she’d tugged Seb down to whisper something to him.
Whatever she said made him look at Holly with a disappointment that made her breath catch.
But she had nothing to feel guilty about or ashamed of, so she shook off the sinking feeling that was trying to settle in the pit of her stomach.
‘Natalie, can you take those toys up to your room please?’
‘I want to stay with Seb,’ she replied without looking up.
‘Tally, go and do what your Mum wants.’
And to Holly’s infernal annoyance, her wilful three year old picked up her ponies and made her way upstairs without argument.
‘Holly,’ he said at the same time she said, ‘Seb’.
Holly cut in first in the momentarily silence that followed.
‘Seb, whatever Natalie has been saying to you, well, frankly, it’s none of your business.’
Seb looked away for a couple of seconds, before turning to face her again.
‘She said you kissed Owen.’ His words came out harsh and strained.
‘Yes, Seb. I’m a big girl who can kiss a nice, single man if she wants to.’
She refused to be embarrassed by her actions with Owen. She was a grown woman, who could decide who she kissed.
‘Is he a nice guy if he’s stringing you along and leaving the Bay next week?’
Seb’s words hit their mark hard. But Holly refused to let them take hold. He was wrong. Owen was leaving in a couple of months for the summer and then he’d likely be back. She’d come to terms with that prospect. There was no way he would be leaving in a few days and not have said anything to her.
‘I’ve got two more lessons, so he’s not leaving next week,’ she parried back. It sounded petty, she knew that, but she didn’t care.
‘Is that what he’s told you?’
‘God, Seb. It’s got nothing to do with you. I don’t get why you even care. You made your views on me pretty damn clear twelve years ago.’
‘Holly–’
Lucy’s cheerful tone reached them before she stepped into the kitchen.
‘Oh - sorry. Am I interrupting?’ she asked, taking in the obvious tension in the room.
‘No,’ Holly said firmly at the same time that Seb said, ‘Yes.’
Lucy looked between them, then focussed on Holly.
‘I was just going to let you know that when the delivery arrived this morning, I noticed a couple of barrels were missing.’
‘Thanks, Lucy.’ Holly was about to ask her which barrels, but Lucy had left the room as if it were on fire. Holly didn’t blame her, she wanted to do the same.
‘Holly–’ Seb started as soon as the kitchen door swung shut.
‘Save it, Seb,’ and because she couldn’t bear to see that hurt look in his eyes at her outburst, she doubled down, ‘I think you should take that time in lieu you’re due. Now I’ve got Lucy here, I can cover the kitchen. Spend some more quality time with Danny.’
‘Holly, that’s not what I–’
‘Please, Seb. Take some time. Leave me alone,’ she breathed out the last words like a prayer.
And so he did.
*
Later that night, Holly sat at the window of her bedroom looking down at the cobbled street below as she tossed the Fortune Cube between her hands.
It was as though it were calling the question from her when she finally asked it, ‘Was I out of order with Seb earlier?’ She pressed the button, and closed her eyes not sure whether she wanted to know the answer.
When she was brave enough to look, she found she was disappointed to see the words The Answer is Unclear staring back at her.
It would seem even the fortunes couldn’t work out her and Seb.