Chapter 21 #3
If I’d read your letter, I would have been at that pub to meet you - I would have got there early so I was the first thing you saw when you stepped inside.
It kills me to think of you standing there, waiting, thinking I didn’t like you.
Because I did. I didn’t just fancy you, Holly, I was utterly in love with you.
And for total disclosure; I’m still in love with you.
When Sloane told me you thought of me like a brother, I started seeing all our interactions differently.
I couldn’t understand how I had got things so wrong.
And I stayed away because of that. I figured it would help.
But it didn’t. My mum kept me updated on what you were up to, and I hated I couldn’t be the one doing those things with you.
Then, at the funeral, seeing you again after all those years, it destroyed me. You took my breath away - it was like we hadn’t spent years apart. Meeting Natalie broke my heart all over again though - not because I didn’t want you to have had her - not at all. I wanted her to be ours.
After the funeral, when Luke mentioned you’d need help at the brewery, I started watching YouTube tutorials on micro brews so I could be there for you.
And it worked. I got to be in your life again and I told myself that would be better than nothing.
And for a while, it was enough. You called on me more, spoke to me more, and it helped to fill a void.
But there was still a distance between us I couldn’t bridge.
And then Owen came back. If he hadn’t left for that job, I would have resorted to running him out of the Bay myself.
But him leaving didn’t help. When you asked me to stay away, I felt those words like a stab to the gut.
I thought I’d lost you forever. Those months away from you felt harder than the years I stayed away.
Because you’d told me to stay away. You didn’t want me around you.
When you asked me to come back I made a promise to myself I’d try one more time to have the life with you I’d dreamt of. I’ll always be grateful for that traffic jam and for Natalie finding your letter.
In answer to the question you asked me 12 years ago -
Do you fancy me?
Yes ?? Yes I fancy you. I love you, Holly.
No ?
I’ll meet you anywhere, any time, any pub. Just please don’t tell me I’m too late.
Seb
When she finished reading, she looked up with unshed tears in her eyes.
Seb stepped forward, took the letter from her hands and reached around her to slip it into the back pocket of her jeans.
The action brought his broad chest in direct contact with hers, and her breath hitched.
Instead of stepping away he tugged her in close with one hand, the other gently grasping her chin, tilting her face so she was looking at him.
‘I really want to kiss you right now, Holly Loxley.’
She thought back to how she’d felt when Owen had called her Hols. That had nothing on Seb saying her full name. With their chests touching, she could feel the resonance in his voice to her bones. She loved it.
Despite all her worries that their time was best left in the past, Holly felt herself leaning in to his touch. And there, on the beach, with the sea crashing against the rocks, Holly couldn’t remember why she thought they shouldn’t be doing exactly that.
‘No one is stopping you, Sebastian Walker.’
He didn’t let her change her mind, or second guess, or let any other interruption get in the way.
He leant down and caught her lips in his.
When his tongue gently pushed against her lip, she let him in.
With their bodies finally connecting in this way, Holly realised how natural this felt, how this was something they should have been doing for years.
Seb broke away first, stroking her face before discreetly adjusting his jeans, making Holly laugh.
‘Totally worth the wait,’ he declared as he turned them both to look out at the waves, pulling Holly in front of him. ‘I just need a minute before we bump into anyone.’
‘I can give you a minute.’
‘I am hoping you’ll give me a lot longer than a minute.’
‘I can’t believe you wrote me a letter.’
‘I’ll write you letters every day if it means I get to kiss you like that every day,’ he pulled her in tighter, leaning in to whisper, ‘I wish I’d got your letter twelve years ago.
I would have been at The Dolphin, Holly.
I’d never have left you waiting. It kills me to imagine you there, all alone. ’
Holly turned a little so she could look at him. ‘I hate what Sloane did, but if she hadn’t then maybe Natalie wouldn’t be here.’
‘She’d still be here. She’s too much of a force of nature to let something as little as genetics get in the way,’ Seb scoffed.
‘I guess we could have been on a break?’
Seb laughed and she felt it through his chest, ‘Let’s not start things by working out ways we would have broken up.’
They stood together like that for a while, until Seb released her - but just so he could turn her to face him again.
‘OK, I’ve got things to do. But I want you to meet me at your pub at 8pm tonight. And if you don’t make it, I’m coming to find you - got it?’
‘Got it.’
He started to walk away, but only took a step before he turned back and pulled her into his arms again. Her laughter was cut off when his lips trailed kisses up her neck until he reached her mouth again.