7. Logan
Logan
I’m watching for Chase’s headlights from the living room window of my condo when he pulls up outside my building. It’s cold as fuck tonight, but he’s got the heater on blast as I hop inside his Jeep before traffic pulls up behind him.
A shiver wracks my shoulders as I go from the freezing air to the warmth of the cabin.
“Aww, do I make you nervous, Buttercup?” Chase asks with a grin as he eases away from the curb.
“Yeah, Matthews,” I deadpan, ignoring the nickname. “Giant, redheaded green flags are the shit of my nightmares.”
“Who’re you calling a green flag?” he asks, feigning offense, just before messing with a dial on my side of the dashboard’s control panel. “Shit. I meant to turn your seat warmer on when I left my place. It should only take a second to heat up.”
I chuckle to myself at his obvious display of green-flagness, but don’t say a word.
Conversation flows easily as we head toward the climbing gym. The fifteen-minute ride is mostly us discussing the Bruins’ most recent game and our work schedules.
I don’t envy his at all.
While I may switch back and forth from day shift to night shift every three months and have twelve-hour workdays, at least I can plan around it.
I know what’s coming. I know what my whole year will look like.
Chase’s schedule changes every week. It includes weekends, holidays, all-nighters followed by early start times in the operating room.
“Jesus, it sounds like BUDS training for the SEALS,” I point out.
“Yeah, some days feel like it for sure.”
“How do you have the energy for shit like climbing after days like that?” I ask, genuinely curious how he isn’t asleep this second.
In the glow of the dashboard lights, I see his cheeks darken ever so slightly.
“I really haven’t had much energy recently, to be honest. It’s just been about surviving, you know? But I mean, I’m excited to hang out with you because it’s new and shit,” he says.
I turn my head slowly to look at him, but stay quiet until his eyes are on me.
“What?” he finally asks.
“So, you’re saying once I’m not new and exciting anymore, you’re dumping me?” I ask in a serious tone.
Chase lets out a genuine laugh, the kind that forces the corners of his eyes to crinkle, and something pinches in my chest.
“No, that’s not what I meant, dickhead.”
Turning back to face forward again, I hum.
“I think I like Buttercup better,” I tease.
Without missing a beat, Chase says, “My term of endearment will be a direct reflection of your treatment of me.”
I bark out a laugh.
“Is that so?”
“Yup.”
“Well then, your Highness, do enlighten me on how best to treat thee.”
“I’m a simple man, really,” Chase says stoically. “Food and cuddling are the fastest ways to get on my good side.”
I snort.
“Cuddling?” I repeat.
“Yeah. You got a problem with bro-cuddling?”
“I mean, as a gay guy, I sort of have to be in favor of bro-cuddling on principle, you know?”
“Not true,” he fires back immediately. “I know a few gay guys who are keen to shove their dick in an asshole, but don’t like to be held afterward, or snuggle during a movie.”
“Fair enough,” I reply, giving myself a moment to assess my actual feelings on the matter. I come up empty. “I guess I don’t really know how I feel about it then. I haven’t had much opportunity to explore my cuddly side.”
“Well, it’s a damn good thing we’re friends now because you’ve been missing out,” Chase says with a smile as we pull into the crowded lot of the gym.
“Whoa, is it always packed like this?” I ask.
“In the colder months, yes,” Chase says, throwing his Wrangler into park.
He grabs a bag out of the back and locks the SUV as we make our way up the sidewalk.
“I did mention that I’ve never done this before, right?”
Chase slings a heavy arm across my shoulders. He pulls me against him, and the heat from his body warms my own.
“Don’t be nervous. I’ve got you, Buttercup.”
“That’s what I’m worried about,” I joke.
Chase pulls the door open and has me fill out the waiver as he pays the fee to use the climbing wall.
“Hey, Chase!” a guy greets as he comes around the corner of the gym into the lobby and slaps hands with Chase, pulling him in for a pat on the back. “It’s been a while, man.”
“Yeah, work, you know?” Chase responds.
“You solo tonight?” the guy asks.
“Nah, brought my buddy with me,” he says, clamping his giant hands down onto my shoulders. I totally mess up my signature, but I don’t really think they look at these things too closely.
“Cam, this is my friend, Logan. Logan, this is Cameron. He’s one of the instructors here.”
I shake hands with the guy as Chase leaves his left hand on my shoulder, basically draping that arm across me.
“Are you just wrapping up?” Chase asks Cameron. If I’m not mistaken, there’s a tone of hopefulness in his voice.
“Nope. Just getting started.”
“Right,” Chase says with a nod. “Well, see you in there.”
Cameron slaps me on the chest, and I swear I feel Chase’s fingers dig into my shoulder.
“Nice to meet you,” he says.
Once we’re in the main gym, I follow Chase to a spot in the corner where he sets his bag down, drops to his knees, and begins taking out two harnesses, a helmet, and what look like bags of chalk.
“You’re free to make your own friends,” he says, laying his gear out. “But that guy always rubs me the wrong way. He’s a know-it-all, and he’s a little too handsy with everybody.”
My eyes widen.
“What? You mean the King of Cuddles does not, in fact, want physical affection from everyone?”
“Not when the affection is directed at my dick without my permission,” he mumbles, making me drop to my knees next to him.
“The fuck? Chase, are you saying that guy assaulted you?” I ask, suddenly more worked up than I’ve been in a long time.
Chase shrugs.
“I’m just saying I’ve done a thousand harness checks over the years, and I’ve never once accidentally touched anyone’s dick, so I’m not sure how his hand ended up around mine.”
“Dude, I’m sorry. Was that recent?”
“Nah, it’s been several months. I stopped coming for a while because work got busy, so I just never made an issue out of it. But enough about that. Just, you know, don’t let him get too close.”
“Noted. I’ll make sure he stays away from you, too,” I vow, although I’m not entirely sure I can keep that promise.
Chase nods with a tight smile, then changes the subject, moving into the harness, still in his sweatpants and hoodie.
“Okay, watch me, because I’ll have you do the same thing in just a second,” he instructs. “This is the front of the harness. You see this loop?”
I nod, and he continues.
“This is where the carabiner will clip.” Chase steps his right foot into one leg hole, then does the same with his left leg and pulls it up his thighs.
I have to admit, I’m trying hard not to look, but when he cinches down the belt and leg loops, it basically frames his dick in a triangle.
Chase laughs.
“I know it’s a little awkward, but you get used to it.”
I shake my head.
“Nah, it’s all good.”
“Since you’re climbing first, you’re going to want to take those off,” he says, pointing at my athletic pants and sweatshirt. “You’ll get hot fast, and you don’t want the harness to slide around on that material.”
Following his advice, I push my pants to the floor, stepping out of them and into the harness just like Chase showed me.
“I’m gonna check it just to make sure you’re secure, but I’m not gonna touch—”
“Chase? Do what you need to do. I trust you.”
Chase nods and gives me a smile before slipping one finger under the strap at my outer thigh on both sides, then tugging on the belt secured around my waist.
He isn’t anywhere near my dick, which makes me angry on his behalf all over again.
Fucking Cameron.
As we step up to our belay station, a couple more people come over to talk to Chase. These interactions aren’t laced with tension, and I begin to calm down. He introduces me to a couple and a friend of theirs who are climbing next to us.
And then he gives me a quick rundown.
“The blue handholds are the easiest route. I’d start there just to get a feel for it. There’s no pressure to go high. You can boulder across if you want, just watch Jess’s line next to you. The first thing I want you to do, though, is climb about halfway up, then let go.”
“What? Why?”
“So you know I can catch you and see what it feels like. Trust me. It’ll be more fun if you’re not worried about falling, and the only way to do that is to show you that even if you do fall, you’re perfectly safe,” he says.
Something about Chase Matthews encourages my trust. His easy smile, his laid-back demeanor, and his natural instinct to make those around him better have me nodding my head.
“Okay.”
As Chase is clipping me in, Cameron makes his way over to us.
“Any questions?” he asks me before looking over at Chase.
“I know it’s been a minute, so if you need a quick refresher, I’d be happy to show you.
” Cameron slides his hand across Chase’s back.
I don’t know if Chase is afraid of causing a scene, hurting this guy’s feelings, or what, but he stays silent—though I notice his flinch—and I’m pissed all over again.
The fact that Chase, who loves bro cuddles and has admitted that he’s not great with boundaries, is uncomfortable with this guy’s touch infuriates me.
Sure, Chase may have no filter and may have been physical with Hanlon, but those two are still best friends.
The script with them was different because of their relationship.
With me, Chase is quick to apologize if he thinks he’s overstepped.
Something this fuckface seems incapable of picking up on.
Snapping like a crazy person, I grab Chase’s wrist, yanking hard as I pull him into me, away from Cameron’s touch. Without asking for permission or checking in, I look Cameron dead in the eye and stand to my full height—which is laughable next to Chase, but I do it anyway before opening my mouth.
“I’d appreciate it if you kept your hands off my date. If we need help, we’ll ask for it.”
I stare Cameron down as he holds his hands up in surrender.
“My bad, bro. I didn’t know it was like that.”
Me either, I think to myself before saying, “Well, now you do,” out loud.
Chase stays noticeably quiet next to me until Cameron saunters off, and then he starts shaking with laughter.
“Did you just out me?”
Matching his laughter, I ask, “Can you out someone who isn’t actually in the closet?”
“I don’t even know,” he says with a grin, shaking his head.
“That was probably crazy inappropriate, but I sort of lost my mind there for a second and just said whatever I could think of that would get his attention.”
Chase shrugs and gives me a goofy grin.
“I don’t mind. I appreciate you helping me. But that does mean we have to keep up the ruse now,” he says with a glint of wickedness in his eyes.
“We really don’t,” I tell him.
“I mean, this is basically our second date,” he says, erasing my guilt with one sentence.
Feeling someone watching us, my eyes find Cameron where he’s moved on to talk to a group a few belay stations over from us. He doesn’t even have the decency to look away when I catch him.
“He’s still staring at us,” I whisper. “Permission to slap you on the ass?”
Chase laughs and cocks a hip, sticking his right ass cheek out for me.
“Granted.”
Rearing back, I slap Chase’s ass on an upstroke. The move makes my hand sting, but it has the desired effect. Cameron finally averts his gaze and leaves us alone for the rest of the night.
Chase walks me through some basic techniques and then sets me loose on the giant wall in front of us.
My legs tremble more than I thought they would, even though I’m not really afraid of falling.
After Chase proved he could catch me so quickly that I only fell three inches before my line tightened, I was more than happy to take a little risk.
Still, my calves are vibrating with muscle failure.
Unable to hold myself up after forty minutes or so, I come back down to Earth.
“Awesome job, man,” Chase praises, making my skin warm.
“Thanks. Honestly, thought it would be way easier. I feel like I should have been able to hold on longer,” I admit.
“Most rookies tap out after fifteen or twenty minutes, so you did great. Climbing requires very specific muscle patterns. It gets easier,” Chase says, releasing the carabiner tethering me to him.
“You want a turn?” I ask. “I’m not sure I can support you like you did for me, but I’m happy to try,” I tell him honestly.
Chase grins.
“Yeah, I’d love to do a run or two if you don’t mind,” he says, unfastening his harness and stepping out of it.
It’s then that Chase begins casually stripping out of his sweats.
First, his hoodie comes off, leaving Chase in a ribbed white tank top, drawing the eyes of everyone in the place.
I knew he was big. I’ve seen him in scrubs—which are hard to fill out—but I’ve never seen this.
The material strains against his chest and hugs his torso.
He doesn’t have the definition in his abs that I do, but his stomach is flat nonetheless.
I’m still trying to pull myself together when Chase pushes his sweatpants to the floor and steps out of them.
The man’s thighs are basically tree trunks.
I’m not talking pine or maple. I mean redwoods. The man could choke a tiger out between those things.
And just like that, I’m imagining what it would be like to be between Chase’s thighs.
Fuck.
Shaking my head, I turn around, pretending to trace a route up the wall.
“Which one will you take?” I ask, trying my best to keep my voice even.
“Probably the red one as a warm-up, then if I’m feeling good, I’ll do the white one.”
“Which order do they go in again?” I ask, not really giving a shit, but trying to stay distracted.
“Blue, green, yellow, red, white, black,” he answers easily as he steps back into his harness and pulls it up.
When he tightens the straps, his shorts ride higher, revealing the spandex he has on underneath.
I’m speechless until he clears his throat, making my eyes snap back to his.
“So, because I weigh a lot more than you, when I fall, I’m going to rip you off the ground, but don’t worry, your weight is just a counterbalance to slow my fall. I’ll make sure we both get down safely.”
The man could’ve said he was going to feed my dick to piranhas and I would’ve gone along with it.
“Sounds good.”
Chase gets into position and teaches me the basics of belaying another climber.
“When I need slack, you toss more rope from this side. When I start to fall, you tighten here,” he instructs. “But you always need to have two hands on the rope.”
I nod, starting to get a little nervous that I’m accidentally going to hurt him.
“Could you, ya know, not fall?” I ask, making Chase laugh.
“I’m definitely coming off that wall at some point,” he says. “But I trust you. It’s going to be fun. Just remember, when I fall, pull tightly here, and sit your ass back. You’re all that’s keeping me from plummeting to my death.”
Right.
“Got it.”