12. Chase
Chase
Logan’s truck is just as clean as his condo. Meticulous even.
“God, it smells good in here,” I tell him, fastening my seatbelt. “Like good campfire and leather. Manly. Kinda sexy.”
Logan cuts his eyes at me and smirks.
“What?” I ask, not understanding the look.
“You ramble when you’re tired.”
“Do I?” I ask, even though I know he’s right.
“Mmhmm,” Logan hums, turning up the heat and pulling out of the parallel parking spot he’d managed to find on the street.
My head falls back against the headrest.
“Why can’t you sleep?” I ask abruptly. My filter is gone, and something about Logan makes me comfortable enough to ask personal questions.
Maybe it’s because he’s the only one in Boston who knows Hanlon, or maybe it’s because I know he misses Stone, and because Hanlon is with Stone, it somehow binds our loneliness.
Who knows? I’m probably reaching for a connection because I’m fucking exhausted, but still, I want to know.
“What are you talking about?” Logan asks in a tone that says he knows exactly what I’m talking about, but isn’t ready to discuss it.
“Really? We’re going to play coy?” I ask, rolling my head to the side to give him a pointed look.
He huffs a sigh because he knows I’m calling him out, and thankfully, he drops the act and opts for the truth.
Exhaling as though he’s resigned himself to a terrible fate, he says, “Tonight is the annual employee Christmas party at Ricochet Ridge. I’m sure Hanlon and Stone are telling everyone their good news and…” he trails off, and I try to finish the thought for him.
“You’re glad you don’t have to witness it?”
He’s silent for a couple of minutes before finally whispering, “I wish it was me.”
I didn’t know my heart could totally break for a dude I’m still getting to know, but here it is, shattering in his front seat. Without thinking, I place my hand on the back of his neck and squeeze it gently.
“I’m really sorry, Logan. I didn’t realize you and Stone were so close.”
Logan shakes his head as we merge onto the highway.
“That’s just it. We never were…not like that, at least. Where am I heading?”
“Take the exit before the hospital. I live in the condo complex up on the hill. What do you mean you were never that close?”
“Stone and I. We never dated. We never even hooked up. Hell, I only ever kissed him once, and it was a total clusterfuck. I mostly did it to piss Hanlon off,” Logan admits, making me sit totally upright and whip my head toward him with wide eyes.
“You’ve been hardcore pining over this guy for years and you never even fucked?!” I yell.
Thankfully, instead of being pissed, Logan just laughs.
“You ever heard of unrequited love, asshole?”
“Yeah, but I didn’t realize it could accompany unrequited dick.”
“You’re ridiculous,” he says with a smile.
“Maybe, but I’m not the one losing sleep over an asshole I’ve never even been inside of,” I point out.
Logan gives me a quick glance before looking back at the road.
“To be fair, I doubt you’ve ever been inside any asshole, so no, you probably wouldn’t lose sleep over the one you missed out on.”
This conversation has woken me up a little, and I grow serious under the cover of the darkness that surrounds us.
“Seriously, though. What is it about Stone that you’re hung up on? I genuinely don’t mean to be a prick, but he chose someone else. Why hang on to him?”
“Have you ever been in love?” Logan asks abruptly.
“Sure, I mean Kendra and I have been together for a long-ass time,” I remind him.
“Time in a relationship doesn’t equate to intensity of feelings,” he says like some expert.
“Okay, for the sake of the discussion, let’s say I haven’t been in love before. Describe it to me.”
I’m not sure if he notices, but Logan grips the steering wheel just a little tighter, and the truck accelerates the tiniest bit. There’s also a change in his breathing pattern, but I don’t point it out.
“Stone was the first person I saw every morning. We had a comfortable routine, but nothing about being in his presence was ever mundane. I felt him in the marrow of my bones. I knew when he entered a room because my skin would buzz, and I knew when he left because I could feel his absence like a living thing. He knew my world, and I knew his. Our hard days were shared, and our easy days were spent wishing we’d see some action.
Somewhere along the way, his well-being became my top priority, and I became a better pilot because of him.
For so long, I thought he was into women, until I saw him on that app, and it was like every fucking dream came true with one profile picture.
But when I showed up for our date, he freaked out and left.
It was okay though, because I knew with time I could convince him to give us a shot.
I mean, how could he not? For years, we’d already been proving how good of a team we made. ”
Logan grows quiet, but I feel the tension radiating off him in waves, so I stay silent, hoping he continues.
Finally, he says, “But before I could persuade him, Hanlon showed up… and once he was there, Stone couldn’t see anyone else.
So, I had to stand by and watch someone else get my happily ever after. ”
Wow.
I’m totally speechless, and not just because I’m tired.
I feel terrible because my first thought is that I’ve never felt that way about anyone. Not even Kendra.
A second later, Logan’s voice brings me back online.
“Sorry. That was too much, wasn’t it? I guess I’ve needed to talk about Stone for a while.”
“No,” I reassure him. “I was just trying to digest that. It was… is powerful the right word? Maybe enlightening?” I ask before adding, “Take the next left.”
Pulling into my driveway, Logan stares straight ahead.
Mercifully, I don’t have anywhere to be until noon tomorrow, which is the only reason I make the offer that I do.
“You want to come in for a bit?”
Logan’s eyes dart to the clock. It’s only eight-thirty, but I know he knows I’m basically a zombie right now.
“Nah, man, I don’t want to keep you.”
“Come on. Hang for an hour. I’ll still be in bed by ten,” I tell him. “Besides, staring at the ceiling for two hours sounds miserable as fuck.”
That does the trick.
Logan laughs and cuts the engine.
“Yeah, definitely not the most exciting of plans,” he agrees.
As soon as I let us in the front door, I gag, and Logan covers his nose.
“Holy shit, I think there’s a dead body cooking in here,” he says, leaving the front door wide open. It may only be twenty-nine degrees outside, but it’s about ninety-four in the condo, and it smells like rotting ass.
“JACKSON!” I bellow into the space, too pissed and embarrassed to care that he’s not home to hear me. “You have got to be kidding me,” I grumble.
“Is it always like this?” Logan asks.
“It’s not usually this bad, but yeah, it always smells like dirty socks and nine-day-old beef that was left out.”
“Dude, that’s fucking gross.”
“Tell me about it,” I mumble, realizing I’m going to have to clean this place up before I’m able to sleep tonight. Ten p.m. was a pipe dream.
I move toward the kitchen to get started when Logan’s hand catches my forearm.
“This might be crazy, but why don’t you grab your shit and stay at my place tonight?”
If I weren’t so pissed, I’d crack a joke about having a sleepover, but instead I just ask if he even has a guest room; his place looked pretty small.
“Yeah, I have a guest room, but the bed in there is only a queen. You can take my room, though.”
“I’m not kicking you out of your room,” I argue.
“Okay, fine,” he says quickly. “Take the small bed, the couch, sleep on the floor for all I care, but can we just get the fuck out of here before my sense of smell is permanently damaged?”
I think it over, but it doesn’t take me long to agree and start packing my shit.
Logan clearly doesn’t want to be alone, and I don’t have the energy to fuck with Jackson’s bullshit tonight.
Five minutes later, I’m ready to roll with my duffel bag and everything I could possibly need for the next couple of days. No fucking way am I coming back until Jackson gets this shit under control and scrubs this place from top to bottom.