47. Oliver
Oliver
Ithought my mother was in the bathroom and hadn’t even noticed she was in her chair.
When Lissa rang the doorbell, I was in the kitchen and descended the stairs, expecting the food delivery guy, but instead, I opened the door to the most unexpected sight.
Lissa—freezing cold and achingly beautiful, snowflakes in her hair and eyelashes, and a flush on her cheeks.
I wanted to wrap her up in my arms and never let her go.
And then she barged in and stormed upstairs before I could warn her I had a guest. And now they’re standing opposite one another, and Lissa looks like she’s seen a ghost. Mom, on the other hand, has a knowing look in her eye that confuses me instantly.
I step into the living room, my eyes flicking between them as I try to figure out how they know each other.
“Anne,” Lissa breathes, looking at me and then at my mother. “Uh…”
“Hello, dear,” my mom says in a completely casual tone. “What a coincidence.”
Lissa’s eyes are wide and alarmed as she slowly sits down on the couch. Truman comes over to lick her hand, and she looks down at him, stroking him absently.
“Mom?” I say, frowning at her. “How do you two know each other?”
“Well…” she says, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. “I didn’t know you two knew each other, of course, but we met when I was in the hospital.”
Lissa looks at me again, a hand covering her mouth. “This is your mother?” she asks disbelievingly. “Oh, my god.”
She covers her face with her hands, the tips of her ears going bright red as my mom smiles at me, a little glint in her eye.
“I met Lissa in the hospital when I was in the cafeteria. Do you remember I mentioned a lovely girl who had helped me with my order? I had been so tired I could barely stand on my own two feet. She told me about her son and then introduced us. I knew you’d make a fuss, Oliver, if I wasn’t in my room at all times, so I would go and visit him when you weren’t around.
He’s a charming little thing. Henry, right? ”
Lissa nods mutely, but doesn’t remove her hands from her face. I can’t speak, my mind whirling with a thousand questions I want to ask both of them, until my mom moves around us, making slow progress on her walker toward the door.
“I’ll go and make myself a cup of tea. I’m sorry I didn’t let you know I was here, but it seemed as if you had quite a few important things to say to my idiot son.”
“Mom!”
“You carry on and discuss your… contract, and I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.”
I gape at her as she leaves the room, utterly lost as to what to say. Lissa still hasn’t looked at me, and I decide the best option is to remain perfectly silent and wait for her to say something.
I want to tell her exactly how I feel about everything she said, but she seems to be struggling to breathe.
“Lissa,” I say eventually, putting my hand gently on her shoulder. “Lissa?”
“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” she says, so fast there’s barely a pause between the words. “I have to go. Oh my god.”
She rises, as if to leave the room, and I take hold of her shoulders and lower her gently but firmly back onto the couch, and I take a seat next to her.
“You’re not going anywhere.” Her eyes harden as she glares at me, and I match her look with a glare of my own. “So… you’ve met my mother.”
“Apparently,” she says, still scowling. “If you had just explained why you were in the hospital that day, maybe we would’ve known about that a little sooner.”
“Lissa—”
“But why would you tell me anything important about your life? It isn’t as if I actually matter to you!”
“Wait a second?—"
“You sent me away without explaining anything. You gave me my freedom, practically finalized my divorce, helped me get Henry back, saved his life with the money I earned from you, and then you just dismissed me as if I didn’t mean anything.”
I stare at her, so many words clumping on my tongue, as if they are trying to force their way out of my mouth. But I can’t utter a single syllable. The idea that she has just walked into my house and given me everything I ever wanted is so alien that my brain can’t form a full thought.
I don’t deserve love. I’m too broken. Too shut down.
“You’re just scared to let somebody know you.”
My chest cracks open at those words, and it isn’t Lissa struggling to breathe anymore—it’s me. It’s as if there’s a war inside my body between my heart and my head. One wants to dance with joy, and the other wants to bury itself in cement and never move again.
“Oliver?” Lissa is on her feet, her hands coming up to frame my face. There’s a tiny pause before her skin touches mine, as if she’s not sure if it’s allowed, and as her soft fingers run over my cheeks, I let out a long shuddering breath. It feels like I’ve been holding it for weeks.
“I’m not scared,” I attempt, trying to get back some semblance of control. “What we had between us wasn’t real. You were only there because I was paying you to be.”
My hands encircle her wrists, ready to pull her away, but she won’t let me, tipping my head up toward her to meet my eyes as she stares deep inside me, to places no one has seen before.
“And what am I doing here now, then?” she asks simply. “Am I required to be here? Or have I chosen to be?”
I shake my head, mortified to feel tears begin to well in my eyes.
She’s so incredibly beautiful, and I don’t deserve her kindness, her sweetness.
“You don’t even know me,” I whisper as she gently rests her forehead against mine.
“I’ve known you since the first day we met. The first time I set foot in your office, I knew I had found something I’d never had before, Oliver. And I don’t want to lose you. We both deserve some happiness, don’t you think? After all this time?”
“Well said.”
Lissa pulls away from me, turning to my mother, who’s standing on her walker in the doorway, looking directly at me, a sad smile on her face.
“I could pinpoint the exact day you started working for my son, Lissa. He was happy. Content for the first time. He just didn’t know it yet.”
Lissa turns back to me, placing a gentle kiss on my lips as I put a trembling, tentative hand against her hip.
“What if it all falls apart?” I whisper as she leans in close, holding me tightly against her.
“Then we’ll just try again until we put it all back together.”
I sit with Lissa on the couch for an hour, talking about anything and everything, my body wrapped around hers. My mother shuffles into the room periodically, bringing us some tea and cookies and muttering at me for being a terrible host.
Truman is curled up on the floor beside us, and Lissa puts her head in my lap.
I close my eyes and play with her hair, stroking it reverently as the snow keeps falling outside.
“Where’s Henry?” I ask, and she looks up at me with a little smile.
“He’s with Bethany at my apartment.”
“Can he come over here?”
She chuckles. “I’d like him to be with us tonight, too.”
I squeeze her gently. “I want you both to live with me.”
She lifts her head off my lap, her eyes wide. “Oliver, that’s crazy.”
“Is it? You need a quiet, safe space for him to recover. I have a stupid number of rooms I barely use. If we get sick of each other, you can always go and hide in one of them.”
Snorting quietly, she lays her head on my chest now. “I could never get sick of you.”
I smile contentedly. “Alright then, we’re in agreement.”
“Are you making decisions without me again?”
“Hm. Probably. It can be temporary. But you need a nicer place to live. You said so yourself, and I want you here with me.”
She looks up again. “Then why did you send me away?”
I shake my head slowly. “If I’m honest, I’m not sure I even knew at the time.
It just felt… safer. I think I was convinced you were better off without me.
All the time we’ve spent together has been on my terms, for my needs.
I didn’t know if you would ever want to be with me.
Not the man I am in that room. The real me, with all my flaws. ”
“Well, I do,” she says simply. “I think I’ve wanted to see the real you since the very first day.”
I run the back of my hand over her cheek, curling a lock of hair behind her ear.
“You’re so beautiful, Lissa.”
She rolls her eyes, never comfortable taking a compliment, and I shift beneath her, making her look at me again.
“You are. You’re beautiful, inside and out,” I whisper. “I’m going to spend the rest of my life reminding you of that.”
“Is that so?” she says, her eyes softening. “The rest of your life, huh?”
“At least,” I say, kissing her on the tip of her nose. “Shall we go pick up Henry? Bethany’s welcome to come too.”
“Don’t worry. She won’t want to be the third wheel; she’ll just be relieved you didn’t chuck me into the street.”
I go still, with my phone held loosely in my hand, as I look back at her. “That would never have happened.”
“I wasn’t so sure.”
“I was so stupid. I’m sorry,” I say earnestly. “The minute I saw you on the doorstep, I knew you were here to stay.” My chest aches as I look into her large, stormy-blue eyes. “I think if I’m being honest with myself, I knew it the second you walked into my office.”
She beams at me, her eyes crinkling at the edges. “Really?”
“Really really,” I say, kissing her temple. “Do you need to call Bethany to let her know we’re coming to get Henry?”
“She can bring Hen here in an Uber, then take it back to her place once she drops him off. He’ll be so excited.”
“To see me?” I ask uncertainly, as I feel my heart thud.
“To see Truman,” she says with a mischievous grin, and I can only smile back as she sits up on the couch, the light of the fire playing over her face as I order an Uber.
“Or to trade out some of your books for some new ones,” she says. “We’ve been reading nonstop lately.”
I glance up, seeing my mother in the hallway watching us. I don’t think she’s stopped smiling since Lissa arrived.