36. Gray
Gray
Ileave my mother’s house with a weight on my chest that I can’t shake. My skin feels as if thousands of ants are crawling all over it, and when I get into my car, I sit staring out of the windshield for the longest time, not knowing what to do with myself.
My sisters are prone to hysterics when it comes to any woman in my life, so the fact that they’ve assumed there is more between Jax and me than there is hardly comes as a surprise.
I don’t love Jax.
I don’t.
But I do feel something for her, which makes no sense, given our situation.
I stare at my phone, telling myself not to call her. There is no reason for me to speak to her right now. It’s the weekend, and I have no business disturbing her. But I want to know her opinion.
Right from the moment she set foot in my mother’s house, she was a breath of fresh air.
Like sour smoke being cleared from a tunnel.
She looked my mother dead in the eye and unapologetically just continued to be herself.
Few people, and certainly no woman I have ever dated, has had the balls to do that.
I want to know what she would have done if she had been there. I want to know what she thinks of what I said.
I click call before I can talk myself out of it, assuming she won’t answer, jealousy rising as my brain conjures up all the places she might be.
Is she with another man? Is that how she spends her weekends?
Then another little voice pipes up at the back of my head.
Is she in trouble?
My thoughts return to that dark booth across from me, the dance floor heaving with bodies in between us, as I stared in disbelief at Nick Monroe’s hand smoothing over her waist. The waist that only I am allowed to touch.
How the fuck did she get mixed up in that world?
Nick and I haven’t crossed paths in a long while. I hoped I would never see him again.
“It’s Sunday.”
A smile spreads across my face, the ball of tension in my shoulders dissipating immediately.
“It is, isn’t it? Are you busy?”
There’s a short pause, and the sound of a door closing. “Extremely. Why are you calling me?” Her tone softens, as if she’s moved somewhere more private.
“I just told my mother I won’t be going out with Sarah again,” I say, unsurprised when there’s a long pause on the other end of the line. She would be well within her rights to ask why the hell that should be her problem.
“Good for you.” My chest swells, gut churning. “What did she say?” Jax asks.
“Not much. She stormed out.”
“Does she storm out a lot?”
“More frequently these days. Yes. How did you know?”
“My dad used to do that, too, if we ever questioned him. Never disagree with a narcissist.” She clears her throat hurriedly. “I’m not saying your mother is a narcissist, but my dad definitely is.”
“My mom’s changed a lot since I was a kid.” I pause, staring at the tops of the trees ahead of me, the breeze moving through the branches in leisurely swirls. “Is your father in prison for a long time?”
There’s silence for a little while, and all I can hear is Jax’s breathing, until she sighs.
“Hopefully. It’s years until his appeal hearing. I think secretly some of my brothers want him to get out, though. Seb always had a closer relationship with Dad, but we’re better off without him.”
“I guess that’s a good thing, then.”
“I guess it is.” Her voice gets low, a rustling noise comes through the phone as if she’s moving around. “Are you thinking about apologizing to your mom?”
I lean back in my chair, closing my eyes. “Kind of. Yeah.”
“Don’t. Sometimes you just need to be brutal with people to get the message across. Plus, she doesn’t seem like the kind of person who would listen if you explained where you’re coming from.”
“You sure read her well, having met her for all of three hours.”
“I’ve met people like her before. I know she loves you, that’s obvious. But that doesn’t mean she knows what’s best for you.”
I don’t reply. I hear her footsteps, a sliding door, then the sound of a long zipper being fastened.
“Are you headed out somewhere?” I ask, biting my tongue to stop myself from asking where.
“Yeah. You busy, or do you need to blow off some steam?”
My cock twitches. “I’m not busy. No.” My voice is thick and filled with heat, and she snorts loudly, provoking yet another smile.
“I didn’t mean that. Can you meet me at the corner of Marello and Broad in about an hour?”
I check my watch. “I think so. Are you planning to murder me and steal my money?”
“Wow. You guessed! I’m so happy you figured it out because it’s hard lying about it.”
I roll my eyes as there’s more banging on the other end of the line. “Bring workout gear if you have it.”
“Workout gear? I thought we were going to do something else.”
“I know you did. But that’s not what today is about. You need to punch something.”
“I do?”
“Trust me.” Then she hangs up.
I keep gym gear in the car at all times because I’m a member of several gyms and try to work out whenever I can fit it in my busy schedule.
I change in the back of the car before I head to meet her, feeling intrigued as to what she’s planning. I’m standing in the street scrolling on my phone as Jax jogs up, looking gorgeous in a lilac-and-dark-grey workout set, her toned stomach on display despite the cold.
“Sorry, the bus was late,” she says, and walks behind me toward the sketchiest building I’ve ever seen. I pocket my phone and pick up my bag.
“Uh, Jax, if you’re planning to kill me, this is kind of an obvious location.”
“I know, but I didn’t have all that much time to plan,” she says blithely, looking around at me with a little side eye that has my cock twitching again as she flicks that gorgeous hair over her shoulder. “Come on. I’m gonna show you how to get all your stress out.”
I follow her down into the bowels of one of the weirdest gyms I’ve ever seen. It’s completely black inside with flickering lighting down the stairs, fluorescent paint graffitied across the ceiling, and the biggest guy I’ve ever seen at the front desk.
He eyes me warily, glancing at Jax.
“You don’t have a guest pass, Jax; you’ll need to pay for him to enter.”
“I’ll cover it,” I say automatically, and for once she doesn’t argue.
“Have you ever boxed before?” the guy asks sharply.
“Yeah,” I say, glancing at Jax.
“Roar, would you just let him in?” Jax mutters, sounding exasperated. “It’s not like it’s packed in here on a Sunday.”
‘Roar’, or ‘Rory’ as his name badge suggests, squints at her critically. “Hey, there are rules.” He looks back at me. “Fifty bucks.”
“Roar!” Jax says, sounding scandalized. “What the fuck?”
“We don’t do day passes. You wanna bring a guest, he pays his way,” Rory says.
I’m starting to think the guy has a bit of a crush on Jax. He’s looking at me like he wants to kill me.
“Keep the change,” I say, handing him a hundred-dollar bill. Rory stares at it, his lips thinning with disapproval as he nods us through. Once we walk up to the door, Jax looks back at me with a little frown.
“Was that really necessary?”
But I’m barely listening as we step into the gym. It’s huge, much bigger than it looks from the outside, and peppered with stark white lighting around steel machines that look like torture devices.
It’s like walking into a vampire’s crypt. There are punching bags in uniform rows along the walls, and huge, beefy guys everywhere, slamming their fists into each other or into the bags.
“This is Marlo’s,” Jax says proudly, spinning around with a grin. “It’s the best place on earth.”
“It’s amazing,” I say, not sure what to make of it.
“They didn’t accept women at first, so I challenged Marlo to a fight. Then he had to let me join.”
I glance over at her. “So you won, then?”
“Of course I did,” she replies, with effortless confidence.
“I can believe it,” I murmur, watching her ass sway through the gym like she owns the place.
“Jax, you in?”
There’s a huge guy in the ring in the center of the room, leaning against the ropes. His arms are twice the size of mine, and he’s built like a tank.
I clench my jaw. Even I can see the guys in this place are hot. Jealousy bubbles in my chest, and I push it down, trying to keep the irritation off my face.
I expect Jax to laugh and brush off the guy’s invitation, but to my horror, she accepts immediately.
What the fuck? She can’t fight that guy; he’s three times as wide as she is.
I consider saying that out loud, but decide against it. I want to leave here with my balls still attached to my body.
“Wanna watch?” she asks. “Or you can spar. Any of these guys will show you what to do if you don’t know. They’re mountains, but they’re all friendly as hell.”
“I’ll watch for now, then I can blow off that steam you mentioned.”
“Great! Don’t judge McGregor too harshly; he won’t go easy on me. I’ve asked him not to.”
“He can’t hurt you, can he?” I ask, following her as she pulls out gloves and a mouthguard from her bag. She grins at me, and I can’t help laughing at her.
“No more than I want him to,” she says, winking at me and making a bolt of desire race down my dick.
She climbs into the ring, punching McGregor’s gloves as he eyes me quizzically.
“Who’s the new guy?”
“Oh, he’s a big shot CEO,” she says loudly. “Don’t worry, you can beat him up later.”
I glance around self-consciously and notice three of the other men watching me.
“You rich?” McGregor asks, turning to me.
“Filthy,” I throw back, and McGregor chuckles, then looks over to the other end of the room. “Hey, Marlo! Come schmooze this dude! He’s loaded.”
I watch as a guy at the back, covered with tattoos, rises from where he’s been lifting an enormous dumbbell and heads towards the ring.
Oh hell.
I turn to watch the fight, nervous for Jax for all of ten seconds, until it begins, and she smacks McGregor so hard in the face I’m surprised he doesn’t hit the floor.
Marlo climbs into the ring, shouting pointers at them as they circle one another. Jax is quick, spry, and much faster than her opponent, and she packs a hard punch.