Preview - At His Beck & Call #4
Francesca nods. “Very well. I’ll send you your termination papers by the end of the day.” She turns to Maria. “Or perhaps you can deal with that, right, Miss Campbell? Seeing as you’re so willing to deal with everything else today?”
Then she stalks away as the patients move out of her path, keeping their gazes on the floor or their phones, so they don’t have to look at either one of us.
I grab my scarf, walking slowly behind the desk to get my other bag filled with Henry’s things, and feel a gentle hand fall on my shoulder.
“I’m so sorry,” Maria says earnestly. “But she knows you’re the most experienced staff member here. I’m sure she’ll come around.”
I nod mutely.
“I’m a lawyer,” the man at the front of the line says. “If you need employment advice, give me a call.” He places a crisp white card on the surface of the counter, and I stare at it, fighting the urge to laugh.
As if I have the money to pay for a lawyer…
“I have to go,” I whisper, wanting to pick up my computer and hurl it across the room. “I’m sorry, Maria. I didn’t mean to make things more difficult for you.”
“She’ll come around,” Maria assures me, but we both know it isn’t true. Once Francesca has made up her mind, she never changes it.
And why didn’t I fight her? Why am I always so weak?
Pulling on my jacket, I give Maria a forced smile as I move around the desk. The phone starts ringing as I go, and Maria answers it while taking the insurance card from the man in front of her.
I walk through the patients and back out the door. The sunshine isn’t so warm now; it feels harsh and unpleasant on my skin as I begin to walk to Henry’s school.
Jesus. What am I going to do? I can’t pay the rent without my job, and I have no plan for how to pay for Henry’s surgery.
I want to cry, to scream, but instead I just keep walking, silent and seemingly calm, like I always am. This is what James has made me: a meek, docile creature who never answers back, never retaliates, just sucks up all the pain and gets on with things.
I grind my teeth, staring ahead of me as a wave of white-hot rage burns through me.
I have no other fucking choice.
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I scroll to James’s name, staring at his hateful, awful photograph and the simpering smile on his smug face.
One phone call and Henry’s life would be better again. He’d be able to start treatment immediately and start feeling better. The ease and simplicity of it are a tantalizing lure.
I lower the phone, my teeth digging hard into my bottom lip.
And once I call James, what happens next?
He would be back in my life. In our lives, asserting control over my son, ensuring that I am bound to him forever.
If I have to take hundreds of thousands of dollars from him or use his health insurance, I’m tied to him for life.
That’s not a debt I could ever repay, and there’s no way he wouldn’t blame me for it somehow.
That was his specialty. Everything was my fault. Everything.
My mind goes back to the twin black eyes in the photograph of that battered and bruised woman I used to be. I made her a promise, and I intend to keep it.
Henry’s life wouldn’t be saved if I ask James for help, it would signal the end of him having a mother. If I go back to James, he’ll kill me. Just like he almost did before.
I scroll away from his name, back up to the top of my contact list, and stab my finger into Bethany’s name.
“Hi,” she answers immediately. “I was just about to call you, I’m so—”
“Don’t apologize,” I say quickly. “All you ever do is try to help me. I know that. I shouldn’t have lost my temper. I understand why you said what you said, what you were trying to do, and I’m grateful. I’m really sorry for going off on you like that.”
“Lissa, it’s alright, I should have heard you out—”
“I just lost my job.”
There’s a long silence on the other end of the line, and then Bethany’s voice comes through again, ominous and filled with rage.
“What?”
“Francesca fired me because Henry threw up at school, and I have to go and get him. She’s given me my two weeks.
Please, Bethany, I’m begging you. I know you don’t like the idea of me working at Sterling House, but I don’t have any other choice.
” I give a long, defeated sigh. “Well, that’s not entirely true,” I continue, feeling guilty for twisting the knife.
“I could call James, and he’d fund everything. ”
“Fuck me,” Bethany says despairingly.
“Please, Beth. If I hate it, I’ll quit, but I have to try. For Henry.”
There is a long, agonizing pause as I hold my breath.
“Alright,” Bethany says eventually. “I’ll set up an interview, but I’m going to give Pippa parameters.
Non-negotiable. There are some shmucks on our books that don’t get to go near you with a five-hundred-foot pole.
Is that understood? And we have the SOS rule like before.
You feel unsafe, you call me, and I’ll come get you immediately. ”
“Thank you. I love you.”
“I love you, too. So much. I fucking hate this, though. I’ll be in touch.”
Then she hangs up, and I place my phone gently back in my bag and keep walking toward the school. That’s what I’m good at. I keep going until all hope has faded.