Chapter 17
“F
or God’s sake, the weather here is simply intolerable!” Harry grumbled as Carstairs helped him dress for dinner. “I wake up bally shivering, and then an hour later, the sun beats down so fiercely that I end up poached in my own juices like a haddock!”
“I find that I quite enjoy it, sir, if you don’t mind me saying so,” Carstairs replied evenly, brushing the shoulders of Harry’s jacket.
“The mornings are brisk enough to stimulate the senses, and the afternoons are simply perfect for spending time in the gardens or out strolling the hills. Most invigorating!”
“I suppose that’s one word for it if one enjoys never quite knowing which clothes to wear for fear of freezing or burning to death,” Harry said tightly.
“I must admit, our style of dress seems poorly suited for this place,” the valet conceded. “I am beginning to understand why so many of the fellows go about in more relaxed clothing. Kilts, for instance.”
“Are you thinking of adopting such a style yourself, then, Carstairs?” Matilda giggled. “I think it would look extremely dashing on you!”
Carstairs said nothing, but a bit of color rose in his cheeks.
“In truth, though, I do quite take your point,” Matilda went on with a smile.
“I find the ladies’ style of dress to be charming as well.
They manage to look marvelously fetching and without all of the ludicrous frills and corsets and such that we London women subject ourselves to!
It’s a far more natural form of living out here, isn’t it? ”
“That is one way of describing this appalling wilderness, indeed,” Harry sniffed haughtily.
“How have I come to find myself surrounded by proper English people clasping hands and singing hymns about the joys of this wretched place?” He turned to his sister.
“Cora, you have been oddly quiet this entire time. I would have thought you’d be positively gushing with charming anecdotes about your visit to the village.
Aren’t you going to extoll the virtues of these simple folk and regale us with poetic verse about your passion for Cameron? ”
Cora did not answer. In fact, it took several moments for the words to even penetrate the haze of sadness that she was lost in. When she finally did allow herself to hear them, she blinked at her brother, then shook her head.
“Quite the opposite, actually. I…have found that this place is not to my taste at all. I should very much like to return home.”
Harry’s eyebrows went up so quickly that they almost seemed poised to leap from his head entirely.
“Thank heaven for that!”
Carstairs kept quiet, but his brow furrowed with concern. For her part, Matilda seemed stunned.
“Cora, are you quite certain that is what you truly want? We have only just arrived, really…”
“Yes, and already she sees this place for the repugnant nightmare that it is!” Harry exclaimed triumphantly.
“One might wish to keep one’s volume a trifle lower when trumpeting such things, sir,” Carstairs pointed out evenly.
“What difference could it possibly make, Carstairs, now that Cora has finally seen reason and agreed not to marry this Scottish clod? We need no longer concern ourselves with making a good impression on this family of backwards simpletons!”
“Oh, had you been concerned with that, Harry?” Matilda spoke up with a smirk. “I hadn’t noticed.”
“Be that as it may, sir,” the valet continued, “we remain in a castle where we are surrounded by Scotsmen. Most of whom, I am given to understand, are a fiercely prideful people and might therefore revoke their hospitality upon hearing such words. Revoke it most sternly, sir, if you take my meaning.”
From the expression on Harry’s face, it seemed as though the prospect of his own rather gory death at the hands of a mad Scotsman flashed through his mind several times over, for he grew tremendously pale and his mouth snapped shut at once.
“Carstairs, Harry, might you excuse us for a moment so that I may have a private word with Cora?” Matilda asked.
“Preposterous!” Harry sputtered. “She’s my sister!” His tone was as plaintive, petulant, and possessive as that of a small boy who had caught another playing with his favorite toy.
“Yes, but unlike you, I happen to be a genuine friend to her,” his wife shot back. “Now I wish you to leave at once so that we may converse in a civil fashion rather than having you interrupt us every few moments with your snide comments! Do I make myself clear, Harry?”
Carstairs was clearly doing his best to hide his emotions, but even he could not help a small, smug smile at seeing Harry dressed down in such a fashion.
Cora was vaguely startled. Matilda generally tolerated Harry’s boorishness with good humor and the occasional dry observation, but overall, she rarely lost her temper with him. In fact, Cora could not remember such a thing ever happening before.
Neither could Harry, apparently, for he was left utterly speechless by the outburst. His lower lip quivered with indignation, and he turned and stormed out of the room without another word, just as he had done back in London when Cora had put him squarely in his place.
Carstairs filed out behind him, and Cora did not envy the valet for the torrent of angry bloviating he would no doubt be subjected to over the course of the next hour or so.
Still, best for Harry to get it out of his system, she supposed.
That was one of the many things she regretted about the decision she’d made: That she would doubtless have to listen to Harry’s obnoxious triumphant crowing all the way back to London, as he repeatedly reminded her he was against this entire endeavor from the very beginning.
“Now then,” Matilda said, breathing a sigh of relief. “Do you find that you no longer care for Cameron as you did before?”
“Far from it,” Cora replied miserably. “If anything, I am more convinced of his love for me than ever, and I am touched and humbled by it. I would welcome the chance to spend my life with such a man who concerns himself so thoroughly with my happiness.”
“In that case,” her sister-in-law mused with a frown, “I confess, I fail to see the problem.”
“The problem,” Cora explained, “is that he would be forever frustrated, for I see no way that I can be happy while living in this place.”
“Why not? Are these surroundings not pleasant? Myself, I find them simply enchanting.”
“It’s not the countryside that I take issue with,” Cora told her.
“I do love to look at the hills and valleys and go riding with Cameron beneath the wide blue sky. It is simply that the people here do not accept me, and I don’t believe they ever will.
I cannot live someplace where I am hated, for that would surely destroy my spirit completely over time. ”
“If you speak of the conversation over dinner last night, I believe you are worried over very little,” Matilda pointed out.
“Cameron’s sisters were impolite, yes, but they’re young enough to be forgiven for that, aren’t they?
I’m sure once they get to know you—and once they get older, for that matter—they will not be quite so difficult to deal with.
And Logan did have a tendency to stare at you, granted, but no doubt he was simply trying to discern the sort of person you are and lacked the social graces to do so in a less conspicuous fashion. ”
“I suppose those things might be true,” Cora replied, “but even if they are, it will not change the fact that the people of this clan nurture a deep hatred for the English.”
“Why, of course they do!” Matilda laughed.
“Did you think they would fall to their knees before you and thank you for blessing them with your presence? No, of course they resent the fact that you have stolen the heart of their countryman, just as our people have stolen their entire nation from them!”
“We most certainly have done no such thing!” Cora bristled.
Matilda put up a hand to calm her. “In their minds, though, Cora, that is precisely how it transpired, and I’d wager that no one could talk them out of it no matter how hard they tried.
Yes, they may despise you for a while. But once they have a chance to know you—and, more importantly, once they come to understand that you will be a permanent feature of their lives whether they wish it or not—they will come around, I’m certain of it. ”
“Yes, Cameron said much the same thing. And I wanted to believe him, Matilda, just as I want to believe you now. But my heart tells me that I have made a grave error in coming here and indulging this silly fantasy to begin with. I am a woman who has since found herself elevated to the peerage, and be that as it may, I have difficulty handling even that change at times, though I have done my very best. But to become the wife of a Scottish laird? I fear my life will have quite gotten away from me at that point, and I will have little concept left of who I am.”
Matilda sighed. “Well, if your mind is made up, then I suppose I have no right to talk you out of it. It’s a shame, though, that we did not have a chance to stay a bit longer.
I was quite enjoying it here, and I believe Carstairs is as well.
Perhaps when we return to London, we ought to take the time and trouble to make more Scottish friends so that we might be invited to stay in their ancestral keeps for a fortnight here and there. ”
“Yes,” Cora said faintly, “perhaps.”
The truth of it, though, was that she highly doubted she would ever set foot in this country again once she had left it. The memories it would bring up for her of being so terribly close to true love, only to realize the futility of it, would be more than she could bear.