Chapter 19
Edwina was so astonished to see James standing there and smiling at her that, for a bizarre moment, she was sure he had stepped directly out of her daydreams. She gazed at him in wonderment.
“How on earth did you get here?” she demanded. “Surely you did not ride all this way, with your leg in the state it’s in?”
“I did ride, as a matter of fact,” he informed her proudly. “I will not pretend it was easy, nor will I pretend I am not currently in pain as a result. But as you can see,” he added, gesturing down at himself, “despite that, I remained able to stand while waiting for you! All thanks to your care!”
“Yes, yes, that’s wonderful indeed, James, and I am relieved to hear it,” she said briskly, hurrying over to him and coaxing him down into a chair.
“However, it is also needlessly showing off! Your body gives you pain for a reason, and it must be heeded in that regard, lest you worsen your condition! And what in heaven’s name possessed you to ride all this way?
Did you not realize how you might exacerbate your injury?
Did you not think to take a carriage and be easier on yourself?
Why would you take such ridiculous risks? ”
“I would not have,” he admitted, “if I had not been able to rely on seeing you when my journey was through. Mind you, I was hoping for rather a warmer reception than this one, but now that I think of it, perhaps I shouldn’t have.
You are nothing but yourself, after all.
No one ought to attempt to change your nature, and any who try would be fools. ”
“I tend not to interact with people sufficiently for them to attempt any such thing,” she informed him. “In fact, most of them tend to avoid my presence when they can.”
He beamed at her, his eyes full of affection. “That is because they do not know you, Edwina. Not like I do.”
“That is why you have come all this distance, then, James? To tell me that you ‘know’ me?” She laughed uncertainly. “I seem to be hearing rather a lot of that today, in fact.”
James paused. “You know, it’s funny. I had such a very long time to think about how I would say this to you as I rode here, and now that you are standing there in front of me, all those words have flown away like a flock of birds.
” He laughed uncertainly. “Fergus and I… Our father never told us any stories, for he found such things frivolous and said only girls needed to hear fairy tales at bedtime. We had a servant, though, who would sometimes sneak in to tell us stories which would help us go to sleep. There was a tale of a knight who wooed a lady and vowed that he would bestow upon her any gift her heart desired. She told him to travel to a beach a hundred miles away, pluck from it a single grain of sand, and bring it to her. He labored mightily to do so, for the distance was great, and there were many challenges along the way. Still, he accomplished his appointed task and returned to her with the grain of sand.”
“How did he transport the single grain?” Edwina inquired wryly. “Was it in his pocket? If so, how did he end up distinguishing it from other grains of dirt that may have found their way in with it? Did he sift through them, try to determine which was the beach sand based on color?”
Yes, there was her waspish tongue again. She knew she should control it in this instance. Here stood the very man she had wished for a hundred times in the past month. He had come all this way, allowing her to save face in the process.
Why could she not allow her toughened facade to fall away? Why did she persist in being antagonistic instead of warm or inviting?
Because it was her way, damn her. Because when she felt anxious, she resorted to such verbal barbs as a means of self-protection.
She curled her hands into fists at her sides, willing herself to stop.
But if James had been offended, he gave no sign.
“Looking back, I suppose we should have asked her those very valid questions. Alas, it is too late now. At any rate, the knight asked the lady, ‘Now that I have done as you asked, will you tell me why you want me to fetch you a single grain of sand, which is worthless?’ And she replied, ‘The journey was the gift.’”
Edwina put her hands on her hips. “Do you mean to tell me that you recited that entire absurd story just so you could tell me that’s the reason you came all this way on horseback? Because ‘the journey is the gift?’”
“Well, yes, actually,” he admitted somewhat sheepishly.
“Do you know what another gift might have been? Not undoing all my good work on your leg with silly gestures taken from bedtime stories!” She paused, then her tone softened.
“That was extremely sweet of you, though. I only hope it has not cost you too dearly. Here, hike up your trouser leg and show me how your wound is healing.”
He chuckled, doing as he was told. “That’s a promising start, at any rate.”
“Oh, no entendres, you!” she mock-scolded.
But she could not resist smiling at the quip as she poked at the healed incision.
“Hmm. This does look as though you’ve been taking good care of it, so at least there’s that.
Now that you are mostly healed, I suppose you intend to court new wounds by leading your clan’s soldiers once more? ”
“I cannot deny who I am,” he replied. “My sword and shield are a part of me, and I intend to pick them up once more as soon as I am able to do so without being a burden on my comrades in arms. My identity, it seems, is comprised wholly of two parts: The part that must fight to defend my clan, to my dying breath…and the part that will love you, to that same breath.”
“Oh.” She was so taken aback by the beauty of his words that she scarcely knew what else to say.
“I am not as good at expressing such sentiments as you are. Not without hiding them behind jests, at any rate. I hope you know that when I left so abruptly before, it was not because I did not share your feelings, James. It was because I was afraid of them.”
He took her hand gently. “Then be my bride, Edwina, and cast aside your fear, as I did when I came here.”
She took her hand back, averting her eyes.
“But even so, as you’ve said, you are a fighter.
You will continue to risk your life and limb over and over.
How can I stand by to watch you do that?
How can I, when…when I would be too worried for your well-being, and what condition you might return to me in?
Do you not understand that now that I have found a man who loves me as you do, my greatest terror is that I shall lose you and never recover! How can you ask that of me?”
“Join our clan as my wife,” he urged, “and use your gifts to tend to our people. When you do, you will see that they are worth defending, and you will see the sense of supporting me as I do so. You can bandage my wounds and nurse me back to health, Edwina, for none could possibly do it better. You will be my very own angel of mercy and make me the happiest man alive.”
She truly did not know how to answer. She so badly wanted to say yes…but could she risk it? Could she put aside her caution and take such a chance on him?
She had to, she realized. For if the past few weeks were any indication, if she said no to him again, she might very well end up regretting it for the rest of her life.
“Very well,” she agreed with a smile. “I will marry you, James.”
Edwina threw herself into his arms, kissing him and kissing him until neither of them had any breath left in them.