Chapter 13
It was rather difficult for them to manage to ride at first. Gareth kept wanting to take the reins, for he hated the feeling of being on a horse without being the one controlling its movements.
It made him feel oddly emasculated, like some damsel in a fairy tale who had to ride double with the charming prince.
However, each time he tried, his wounded shoulder got the better of him, and he was forced to relent, returning the reins to Pelna’s pale and delicate hands.
Pelna was not nearly as smug about this as she could have been, and he was grateful for that, though he refused to let her know it.
Gareth was able to direct them to an alternate path some distance from where the tree had come down.
Pelna wondered whether they might run into Aidan and Jamie before too long.
She had a difficult time believing that they would have turned and rode back in the direction of Wallace Keep without first retrieving her.
She felt fairly certain that they would have been searching for another way around the fallen tree and washed-out road, and as such, they were bound to have discovered this roundabout path that Gareth was taking them to.
Then again, given how many unpredictable things had occurred recently, she supposed she ought not to take anything for granted.
Perhaps the weather and muddy conditions had prevented them from taking their horses that way, and they had chosen to return to her father and make their report.
For all she knew, there was a battalion of Wallace soldiers being dispatched for the border at that very moment, determined to bring her home by any means required.
“Are ye certain our mount will be able tae make this trip?” she asked fretfully as Gareth instructed her to move around the felled tree. “If she slips in the muck and throws us down…”
“There is no need tae worry,” he assured her. “I spent so much time around this place when I was a child that I came tae ken well the areas which are merely soil and which are mostly stone. The horse will hold up well enough as long as we are careful and move slowly enough. Ye may trust in that.”
There was that word again: Trust. So much of what was wrong between them amounted to a simple inability to trust each other. And if only they could find a way to put their suspicions aside, how easily might they fight the Sinclairs and prevail if only they might join forces?
Both of them entertained these wistful thoughts as they made their way over the terrain as Gareth instructed.
Sure enough, the water rushed over the horse’s hooves, coming all the way up to its fetlocks, but the steed’s footing remained sure and steady, and once they moved past the blackened hulk of the tree itself, they made for the border.
“How fares yer father?” Gareth asked after a while.
“Why?” Her temper flared once more. “So that ye may have the honor of returnin’ tae yer father with good news about Laird Cameron’s imminent demise?”
Gareth took air in through his teeth, wincing. “That poorly, eh? Ye have my sympathies.”
His tone sounded so strangely sincere that she craned her neck to glance into his eyes, seeking out a sardonic gleam in them. When she found none, she felt vaguely humbled.
“I apologize. I did not ken ye were speakin’ in earnest.”
“I am not a snide or unpleasant person, Lady Pelna, contrary tae what ye so clearly believe.”
She turned to face front again, raising an eyebrow. “Truly? Ye might have fooled me during our audience at McDaugh Keep.”
He cleared his throat uncomfortably. The sound was barely audible over the hammering rain.
“Perhaps I was a bit more haughty than the situation called for. If so, I sincerely apologize. It was my first time entertainin’ such audiences in my father’s stead, and, well, perhaps in my need tae impress his advisors and others, I overplayed my part a bit.
However, ye must admit that ye certainly did not make it easy fer me tae remain calm and welcoming.
Ye stormed in accusin’ me of cold-blooded murder!
A murder which, I might add, ye still seem tae suspect me of. ”
She sighed. “Nay. Havin’ given the matter a great deal of thought and havin’ gotten tae ken ye a bit better, I will confess that I am not nearly so convinced of yer involvement anymore.
I cannot give yer fellow clansmen the benefit of the doubt just yet, but I am willing tae concede that if one of them carried out this dreadful act, it was without yer knowledge. ”
“I’ll take it,” he replied wryly. “Fer the moment, at least. And if it turns out that ye are correct, then ye have my word that the perpetrator will be dealt with harshly indeed, if only tae convince ye that there might be some hope fer people between our clans in the future.”
“I will take that into consideration,” she promised, “and pass it along tae my father as well.” She paused, then added with difficulty, “Tae answer yer earlier query—which, I see now, was well-meant—I can only say that the last time I saw my father, his health was deterioratin’ so rapidly that I genuinely have nay idea whether he will still be alive by the time I return home. ”
“I am terribly sorry tae hear it,” he said. “We have that in common, it seems.”
She snickered humorlessly. “At least ye have a sister ye will be able tae rely on fer support when the worst occurs. As ye’ve pointed out, I have only my brothers…one of whom will no doubt take solace in killin’ things, while the other quaffs endless quantities of ale tae salve his wounded heart.”
“My sister has always been there fer me when I’ve needed her, this is true,” Gareth affirmed. “She has many fine qualities about her. So does my brother, fer that matter, despite his gruffness of temper.”
Pelna reacted, surprised. “Ye have a brother? I have never heard of that.”
“Nay, I don’t suppose ye would have. It is relatively common knowledge in these lands, but I can see how word of such a thing would not have found its way tae yer people.” His tone was flat and gray. “Urich is my half brother. He was… His mother was not my mother.”
“Ah. I see.” Pelna was uncertain of what else to say in response to that.
“So there, now ye ken my family’s unhappy secret. I suppose the rest of the Wallaces will now ken it soon enough as well.”
“Nae if ye would prefer they didn’t,” she said quietly. “Or at least, nae from me.”
“Ye would not share this information, then?” He sounded incredulous. “Another reason fer yer people tae look down upon me and mine?”
“I am sayin’ that if ye would prefer I keep it a secret, ye need only ask,” she replied mildly. “Preferably with some modicum of civility, I might add.”
She was right, of course, and he knew it. Now he was the one who had fallen back into mistrust and rudeness.
“Lady Pelna,” he began stiffly, “if it would not be too much trouble, I would greatly appreciate it if ye would keep what I have just told ye between us, rather than speaking of it tae others.”
“Ye have my word on that,” she answered smoothly. “Tell me, what is he like?”
He considered the question for the moment, wondering how best to sum up a person’s entire nature with any brevity.
“He is a good man, though he himself denies it at every opportunity. His bitterness at havin’ been born a…
” But he stopped himself here, unable to say the word.
“He has always felt as though he has no place with the rest of the family because of it. I have invited him time and again, but his resentment fer our father is terrible. He prefers tae live in a miserable hut out near the borders and only comes when called fer battle.”
“Is he a fierce warrior?”
Gareth nodded. “He is, aye. One of our most formidable. Were he anyone else, he’d have a captain’s rank among our soldiers or be full commander over them.
But my father has not offered fer fear that the others in our ranks will believe he is showin’ favoritism tae a son born out of wedlock.
And Urich himself has said he would not accept such an offer even if it were tae be extended tae him fer fear of being patronized and left tae deal with the gossip and shame that would ensue. ”
“That sounds like a horribly difficult position fer all involved,” Pelna remarked sympathetically.
“But it doesn’t need tae be, damn it! I have wished fer so long that the four of us might live as a family together and that there could be nothing but love and harmony between Urich and my father—or my father and me, at least”
“Why?” she asked, puzzled. “What problems exist between ye and Laird Fredric?”
Gareth hesitated for a moment, then decided he may as well continue to confide in her.
He’d already told her so many personal things about himself during this ride that he supposed there was no harm in going a bit further.
Besides, he reasoned, opening up to her might encourage her to trust him more in return.
“I had often been entrusted with the responsibility of watchin’ over my younger brother,” he said with some difficulty.
“Surely yer father didn’t blame ye fer what happened tae him?” she balked.
“Nae out loud. Indeed, perhaps he did not even realize that he blamed me. But after that day, everything between us felt different. He never looked at me the same way. He always seemed tae hesitate before asking me tae do anything particularly important. Alex was so young and dear tae him, ye see, and sometimes, honestly, I believe my father feels that the wrong son was taken from him.”
“Now, I have great difficulty believin’ he would actually feel that way. Nay father would.”
He laughed mirthlessly. “If ye truly feel that way, then I envy ye, fer ye must have had a better father than I. And soon, my father will be gone forever, without ever having…” He trailed off.
“Without havin’ forgiven ye?” she guessed.
“Aye. Without that.”
“I hope that doesn’t come tae pass,” she told him earnestly.
“But if it does, I have no doubt that ye will do honor tae yer clan as its leader. Once that happens, I fervently hope ye and I might be able tae usher in a new era of cooperation between our people. If we were tae try, then I believe the Sinclairs might be neutralized, and we could all live in peace at last.”
“That is a lovely thought,” he agreed. “Only time will tell, I suppose. At any rate, we seem tae have arrived at the border between our lands.”