Chapter 27
Atlas
The hotel room feels like a cage. The bed’s too stiff, the air too stale, and my brain won’t turn off. Dinner with the guys was hours ago, and now it’s just me and the ceiling.
Every time I close my eyes, Maddie’s voice is there. I don’t have the ability to give you what you want.
My chest burns with it, equal parts anger and despair.
I need to get out of here. Get some fresh air.
I lace up sneakers and tug a hoodie over my head. It’s one Grayce liberated the pull string from and it makes me miss her desperately.
Downtown Detroit is quiet this time of night. A neon diner sign buzzes across the street, casting red light over empty sidewalks. The arena’s only a block away from our hotel and the cool bite of early spring cuts through it.
Tucking my hands in the pockets of the hoodie, I hunch my shoulders and press into a determined walk.
My posture would advertise to anyone observant enough not to approach me.
Not that anyone would. It’s close to midnight and although this area of downtown is fairly safe, the streets of Campus Martius are dead.
I’ve gone maybe half a block when I hear the rhythmic slap of shoes behind me. I glance back, ready to brush off some late-night stranger, and nearly choke.
It’s Kace.
Sweatshirt dark with perspiration, earbuds tucked into his ears, legs eating up pavement. He slows when he sees me, eyes rounding with the same surprise.
“What are you doing out here?” He jogs in place a few seconds, catching his breath. “It’s almost midnight.”
“Walking,” I answer. As simple as that.
“At midnight,” he repeats, incredulous. “In Detroit. Alone.” He grins. “You planning on intimidating muggers into better life choices?”
“You’re running,” I counter.
He laughs and shrugs, bending to stretch his calves. “Fair. Guess we’re both restless. Want some company?”
“I’m not running,” I reply with a smirk.
“Good, because I’m tired.”
We fall into stride together, streetlights casting our shadows long and thin over the pavement. The occasional car passes us but mostly, the only sound we hear is the slap of our sneakers.
After a while he nudges, casual. “So. You always take moody midnight strolls the night before a game, or is tonight special?”
“Just clearing my head.”
“Yeah, you’re full of sunshine.” He shoots me a sideways look. “Something’s eating you, man.”
I don’t answer. Hands stay jammed in my pockets.
Kace whistles low. “All right. Not hockey—you’d be cursing by now. Family?”
My jaw ticks.
“Bingo.” He lets the silence stretch. Another block, and he’s poking. “Look, I know I joke a lot, but I’m not without depth.” He taps his temple. “I’ve got a decent mind and I’m a good problem solver.”
I grunt. “Things are complicated.”
“Is Grayce okay? You’re not having second thoughts on fatherhood, are you?”
He almost sounds panicked at the thought, and for someone who just said he has a decent mind, that’s a stupid assumption. “No, I’m not having second thoughts. I love that little girl more than life itself.”
“Aha,” he drawls. “Girl problems.”
“Maddie’s not a girl, but yeah, she’s the complication.”
“Spill it and I’ll give you good, objective advice.”
I love Kace for the Titans brother he is, but he’s not my confidant the way Lucky has been.
Yet as I look around at the empty streets, there’s an appeal about letting all this bottled-up emotion out.
Kace is younger than me by a few years and I doubt he has the wisdom to balance a checkbook, but I know he’s loyal and whatever I say will stay between us.
“I told Maddie how I feel about her.”
“And exactly how do you feel about her?”
“I love her,” I say simply. I’m not ashamed of it. Not afraid to say it out loud, even though the last time I did, in her bed, it got rejected.
Kace grimaces and I know he can guess my proclamation did not go well. “And she didn’t—what? Say it back?”
My fists clench in my hoodie pockets. “She shut down. Said she can’t risk it.”
“Risk what?”
Maddie’s story is for her to tell. While it’s not a secret, it’s only a small part of who she is and I don’t want it to define her. So I only say, “She had a rough childhood, and it’s colored some of her perceptions.”
“Trust issues,” he surmises.
“Major,” I agree. “She’d rather walk away than risk getting hurt.”
Kace studies me in silence, all trace of humor gone. Then he nods once. “That sucks.”
No advice. No quick joke. No words of wisdom. This was entirely not helpful.
We walk another block before he finally adds, “Fear’s a bitch, man. Doesn’t matter how much someone wants something—it’ll slam the brakes every time.”
I glance at him. “Wise words for a youngster like yourself.”
His mouth quirks. “I’m twenty-five, just two years younger than you, old man. But I know what I’m talking about.”
I arch a brow. “What… you hiding some secret love life?”
To my shock, he hesitates. Then he huffs a laugh that sounds more like surrender. “Yeah. Something like that.”
I stop short and he continues to walk two paces before he realizes I’m not beside him. He turns to face me.
“Wait—you’re dating someone?” I ask in amazement. He’s never once indicated any romantic entanglements and is the typical single athlete who’s soaking up every bit of that privileged experience.
“Dating might be a generous word.” His eyes flick back to the way we’d come, then to me. “It’s… confusing.”
“How confusing?” I’m so shocked by Kace’s revelation that I welcome the distraction.
He exhales, runs a hand through his damp hair. “The woman I’m seeing… we’re not exclusive and I find myself competing against the other guy all the time.”
I blink. “Come again?”
He grins, crooked, almost sheepish. “Yeah. Wracking my brain trying to figure out which one she likes better.”
I stare at him, floored. Kace Elliott, the guy everyone thinks is all charm and no depth, is standing here confessing to the most tangled mess I’ve ever heard.
“You’re dating a woman who’s dating another man, and you’re… okay with it?”
“Let’s just say I understand it better than she probably does, and I sort of made this situation, so yeah, I have to be okay with it until I can figure out a solution.”
“You’re serious?”
“As a heart attack.” He shakes his head, laughing without humor. “And before you ask—no, I’m not explaining tonight.”
“I’m not sure we’d have enough time for that story,” I mutter, and we continue in silence for another block.
Finally, he claps my shoulder, grip firm. “Don’t give up on Maddie. If she’s scared, there’s always the chance that she’ll confront those fears and come out better on the end.”
That is my hope. “Yeah… I know. I’m not giving up. Just frustrated because I can see this would be so good for both of us.”
I need to figure out how to reassure her. To make her see I’m not going to abandon her. To convince her that I’m the happily ever after she needs.
It’s a lot, but hey, I’ve got nothing but time. Not going anywhere.
Kace checks his watch. “Okay, gotta finish this last mile. Catch you later.”
Then he jogs off into the night, leaving me with the echo of his words and the gut-punch knowledge that I’m not the only one tangled up in the impossible.