Chapter seven
SIERRA
We're sitting at our usual table in the cafeteria the following Monday morning, but there's not much to talk about—in contrast to how it always is. Our moods are heavily dropped, and there is no way of getting them up because we're all painfully aware of the elephant in the room.
There's an empty chair indicating that someone is missing.
We drink our coffees in silence, occupying ourselves with our own things. It's weird. So weird that I have to get up and leave.
I make my way to the lecture hall early when Kyle gets to my side. He gives me a playful nudge that causes me to look up at his sparkling eyes.
"So... Elias, huh?" he grins, raising his hand to push the door open for me as he walks in right behind. My heart flips, and I shoot him a little glance.
"What?"
"Come on, I know I don't usually care about other people's business, but I'm not stupid," he smirks. "You're my best friend. Playing dumb is not gonna work with me."
We occupy two seats in one of the rows near the back, and a little smile shows on my face at the thought of how Elias and I were wrapped up with each other just two nights ago.
"It wasn't like that..." I trail off, feeling my cheeks get some color, and Kyle notices. His lopsided grin shows again as he leans back in his seat.
"I'm not judging. I think it's great," he says, placing his notebook on the desk in front of him. "For how long has it been going on?"
"Not long." I nibble on my lip, knowing that I can't really hide things from him.
"Sierra." His brows raise with amusement.
Our eyes meet again and I let out a small sigh, then begrudgingly admit it. "About four months."
"And you didn't tell me?" He pinches my arm. "You little brat. I do everything for you."
"Ow," I rub my arm, then punch him in the shoulder, but he barely even feels it from all the hard muscle on his bicep.
"Is it serious?"
"No." I shrug, adding, "At least I think not."
"Do you want it to be?"
"What is this?" I scoff. "An interview?"
Kyle chuckles softly, than crosses his arms with a little shrug. "Just wanna know what you've been up to lately. Besides, I need some good news after all that's been happening."
A frown appears on my face, and I nod, "Have you heard from Sebastian?" I ask, but he only shakes his head.
"I think he just needs time," he says. "I'm sure he regrets it. I just hope he'll drop his pride and reach out. It would be stupid if we didn't talk it out. I mean, we're just before graduation. We're supposed to have the best time now."
"I know. All of these fights are pointless." I sigh.
"Yeah... but you didn't answer my question though," he says, nudging me with his knee this time, just to make me look.
"About Elias?" I glance sideways, already feeling the weight of where this is going.
Kyle hums like it's obvious. I know that he's just waiting for me to admit something I haven't even said out loud to myself yet. It's making me hesitate through and through, but if I know one thing is that he's the last person who would judge me.
"I don't know," I murmur, staring at my hands on my lap. "We didn't really talk about it, so I don't know what it is," I admit quietly. My fingers twist in the hem of my sleeve. "But it doesn't feel meaningless. To me at least. It stopped feeling that way recently."
Kyle nods, and our eyes meet again. His gaze holds a gleam that I can only chuckle at. "Give it a shot," he says then. "You've nothing to lose. That kind of feeling doesn't come from nowhere."
His smile softens, and he reaches out, close enough that I feel the warmth of the gesture even though he's not touching me.
His hand lingers in the space between us, like he's waiting to see if I'll meet him halfway.
And after a moment, I slide my hand closer until our fingers barely touch.
It's tentative, but it's something. It brings me comfort.
He doesn't say anything, just gives my hand the lightest squeeze. I can only interpret it as his way of telling me that he's here. And I appreciate it.
My eyes shift down to the podium then, and a small sigh leaves my lips. "I don't know what I'll say," I admit.
"Just say what's real."
His response sits with me for a bit, and I just nod, knowing that when the moment comes, I'll know.
??????
Tuesday comes by. Then Wednesday. And soon, the entire week is over.
Sebastian doesn't turn up.
I sit outside on the grass with Jenny and Mia, nursing some iced tea. The sun lingers in the sky, and it's early afternoon, so Elias will start his football practice soon.
We didn't really talk about what happened that morning at my place. I told myself that we didn't need to. When we finally got up, he simply left, just like the countless times before.
"Is it just me, or is it fucking boring without the guys here?" Jenny sighs, pushing her sunglasses up on the bridge of her nose, and I chuckle as I watch her lean back on her palms.
"If they ever hear you saying that, we won't live it down." I sip on my drink.
Since our exams are mostly over, and we barely even need to go to lectures anymore, life has been less of a hassle.
Things now mostly revolve around lazy lounging in the cafeteria.
I think we're all grasping the last moments of being here together more than anything else.
It's crazy to think that in a months time, we won't be here like this.
My eyes catch sight of Kyle walking towards us, but another figure shows up behind him.
My chest tightens immediately.
Sebastian.
Mia sees him too, and her face pales. I share a look with Jenny, seeing her jaw clench. We all visibly shift, discomfort crawling under our skin.
Kyle sits on a bench adjacent to us, and Mia keeps her eyes down at her drink, starting to play with her straw.
Sebastian's posture is uncertain—shoulders drawn tight, hands in his sweatpants pockets. He's trying to keep from fidgeting and doesn't meet our eyes at first. He just stands there like someone trying to work up the nerve to walk into an unknown territory.
He has bags under his eyes that indicate he's been sleeping poorly, and it makes me feel a little bad, but when I remember the things he's said, my gaze hardens again.
"Hey," he says gingerly, voice rough like he hasn't used it in a while. His usual confidence is gone, replaced by a thick layer of shame. My eyes are on him, but Mia doesn't look up. Tense silence follows and he glances at her, then back down at the ground. "I wanted to talk to all of you."
None of us respond, but he seems like he expected it. "I was messed up the other night," he continues. "I was out of line. I said things that I can't take back... I was cruel, and I'm sorry."
He swallows hard, visibly enduring discomfort, but from the corner of my eye, I can see Kyle nod his way once their eyes meet.
"I wanted to apologize to all of you. But mostly to you, Mia," he says, but she doesn't lift her gaze to meet his.
Sebastian exhales. "I—" He hesitates, then shifts his weight like he's trying to shake something off. "I don't expect forgiveness. But if you decide to hear me out, I'll be waiting," he says to her.
Mia studies him, eyes narrowed like she's looking for a crack in his sincerity. "Okay," she says quietly, speaking up for the first time since he's arrived.
Sebastian nods slightly, pursing his lips. "Okay. I'll leave you alone then."
And just like that, he's walking away again.
??