Chapter 7 Roni
CHAPTER SEVEN
RONI
I have never been so utterly, deliciously wrecked in my entire life.
Not after running a half-marathon in middle school because the coach forgot to stop the clock, not after that time Dee dragged me to the worst CrossFit class in history, not even after that legendary tequila night when I woke up in a bathtub full of rubber ducks.
This? This is next level. Like, my soul just left my body, waved politely to the universe, and is now taking a much-deserved nap somewhere in the ozone layer.
My physical form is lying in Nathan’s stupidly expensive bed, sheets twisted around my legs, Nathan’s arm thrown over me like a very possessive weighted blanket.
He’s breathing heavily, but it’s calming down, each inhale less frantic than the last.
I stare at the ceiling, counting the recessed lights because it gives my brain something to do besides replaying the last thirty minutes in 8K ultra-high-definition.
Every time I blink, I see Nathan: Nathan above me, Nathan between my thighs, Nathan looking at me like I’m the most important thing on this planet, and he’s two seconds from going full caveman.
Which, to be fair, is exactly what happened.
The weirdest part? It doesn’t feel wrong.
Not even a little. If anything, it feels like the most natural thing in the world.
Like every late-night movie marathon, every inside joke, every accidental almost-touch over the years has just been leading up to this.
I should be panicking about how crossing this line will nuke our friendship into radioactive dust. Instead, all I can think is, “Why the hell did we wait so long?”
I burrow a little deeper into the mattress, shivering as the sweat on my skin cools. Nathan tightens his hold around my waist, pulling me flush against his chest. His body is so hot it’s like he’s running a fever, but I love it. I love him. Jesus, I really do.
His hand creeps up from my hip to my stomach, palm splayed wide, thumb gently stroking my skin. Every so often, he lets out a tiny, satisfied grunt, like he’s making sure I haven’t disappeared.
I should say something, break the silence before the weight of what we just did gets too heavy. But I’m still stuck in this strange, serene afterglow, half expecting reality to come crashing in and tell me I hallucinated all of this.
Instead, Nathan’s voice rumbles in my ear, low and scratchy. “You okay, Roni Roo?”
I let out a sound that’s somewhere between a laugh and a sob. “I’m not sure, Natie Boo. You wrecked me.”
He makes a pleased, contented noise—like a lion after a successful hunt. “Good. I plan on wrecking your gorgeous ass at least twice a day, every day from now on.”
Sounds like heaven to me. His words hit me straight in the solar plexus. There’s a seriousness behind them that makes my heart flutter and squeeze at the same time as happiness flows through me.
I turn my head just enough to look at him. His eyes are closed, but there’s this tiny smile tugging at the edge of his mouth. I reach up and poke his cheek with one lazy finger.
“You’re kind of a caveman,” I say, hoping to lighten the mood.
He doesn’t open his eyes. “Your caveman.”
He’s not wrong. “That’s right,” I admit. “And I’m keeping you.”
Nathan’s smile goes full wattage. He finally opens his eyes, and for a second, I’m pinned in place by the raw intensity of his stare.
“Damn right, you are.” It’s a little unnerving how easily he can strip me bare, not just physically, but emotionally.
I guess it’s fair. He’s seen me at my absolute worst. I’ve seen him at his.
I roll onto my back, stretching like a lazy cat. Every muscle in my body protests, but I do it anyway because I’m an idiot and also because I want him to see all of me. Not just the parts that are safe or easy to love.
Nathan props himself up on his elbow, head in his hand, and looks at me like I’m a math equation he finally solved. I want to say something clever, but all that comes out is, “So, what happens now?”
His brow furrows. “Now, we move your shit into my place and live happily ever after.”
He says it like he can snap his fingers and make it happen. And actually, maybe he can.
“That fast?” I bite my bottom lip, hoping I’m not freaking dreaming.
“Not to throw your own words back at you,” he smirks, “but six years isn’t moving fast.” His dark eyes turn serious as he tightens his hold on me. “Waiting to make you mine was just fucking… stupid. I’m not waiting another goddamn second.”
“Okay.” I’m tired of letting fear hold me back. It’s time to jump in with both feet.
Nathan smiles again, soft and a little amazed. “It’s always been you, Roni.” His hand finds mine on the sheets, and he laces our fingers together. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” I swallow around a lump in my throat. “It’s always been you for me, too, but I was too chicken to admit it. I didn’t want to lose you. Or get hurt.”
His thumb traces over my knuckles, slow and steady. “You could never lose me. I’d chain myself to you before I let that happen.” His tone is so matter-of-fact, so perfectly Nathan, that I believe him completely.
We lapse into silence again, but this time, it’s warm and full of possibilities instead of anxiety. I close my eyes and let myself drift, listening to the city outside the windows and the steady, reassuring heartbeat thumping in Nathan’s chest.
I love the way we fit together, both physically and emotionally. I love that he knows all my secrets, all my weird quirks, and doesn’t run away screaming. I love that he’s never afraid to be vulnerable with me, even when it’s awkward or uncomfortable.
I love him. Plain and simple.
Nathan pulls the blankets up over us and tucks me under his chin, holding me like I’m something precious. I think about all the years I wasted being afraid, all the times I told myself it would never happen, and I want to kick my own ass.
But maybe the waiting makes it sweeter. Maybe this is what it’s supposed to feel like when you finally get the thing you’ve wanted your whole life.
We lie there for a long time, just breathing and being together. At some point, my eyelids start to droop, and my brain floats away on a gentle tide of endorphins.
Before I fall asleep, Nathan whispers in my ear, “Mine.”
And for the first time in forever, I don’t want to run from the word. I want to let it soak in, fill all the cracks in my soul.
I’m his.