CHAPTER 8 #2
“They’re on their way there a little bit, but I think that’s because they’re mad about the divorce and me moving.
It’s made their goodbyes with friends more difficult, and they’re not understanding yet why me living in the guest house with their father moving on in front of my eyes might be hard for me.
I think Adele does, and I’m sure AJ does, too, to some extent, but they’re a little more focused on their lives right now, which is how it should be. ”
“You gave them that chance, Elisa. You’re still giving them that chance to have their own lives. They’re going to school, and hopefully, they’ve listened to your talks about safe sex and understand the consequences.”
“I want them to have all the options. If they decide on their own to drop out of school and do something else, fine, but I want it to be their choice.”
“I know,” Gwen replied and leaned forward again. “But we’ve been talking about the kids, my family, and the past for a few minutes now. Let’s try talking about the future.”
“Not much to talk about yet. I had an interview. It was at the last minute, and I wasn’t prepared, so I doubt I’ll get it. It was for a receptionist job.”
“Well, at least it’s an interview.”
“Yeah. It’s only part-time, so no benefits and not a lot of money, but it might be a nice way to transition back into the workforce after taking time off.”
“Could be, yeah. But what about this Myra woman who lives next to you and is, apparently, gay and didn’t mind you touching her?”
“It’s not like that,” Elisa said.
“But could it be? Part of the reason you finally came out was because you’re ready to actually be with a woman, right? And I don’t just mean sex. I meant in general. A relationship, potentially.”
“I think so. But what woman wants to be with a lesbian who’s been closeted for her whole life and has only had sex with one man?
I know the kids are grown up and will be out of the house, but Myra said she never really wanted kids.
AJ and Adele will still come home on breaks and for the summer.
If I got anywhere with Myra, or even another woman, they probably wouldn’t want to have to deal with that; adult children coming and going and possibly getting in the way.
No matter what, I’ll always put them first. Will someone understand that? ”
“Of course, they will,” Gwen said. “We’re talking about women here.
Not all of us want kids, that’s true, but we would understand better than guys, I think, that kids come first to someone who has them.
You just have to find the right person. Someone who gets the fact that you’ve only ever been with one guy, and it’s okay with them.
Someone who understands that you have two kids who still need you and always will.
Those things are non-negotiable, so if they don’t get that you’re ready for something new but you come with some light baggage, they don’t deserve you. ”
“Light?” Elisa laughed. “ Light baggage?”
“It’s not that big of a deal, really. In the grand scheme of things, being a divorced, closeted woman with college-age kids isn’t anything to worry about. You need to find the person who not only isn’t worried about it but loves those things about you.”
“Who’s going to love the fact that I’m a divorced, formerly closeted woman?”
“Someone,” Gwen replied, shrugging a shoulder. “Trust me, there’s a woman out there who will like being your first. It’s a thing.”
“A thing?”
“Yeah, when older–” Gwen stopped herself. “I don’t mean you’re old. Just that–”
“No, go on. It’s fine.”
“Well, when a woman comes out a little later in life, and she’s never been with another woman, that can be a turn-on for some women. The thing to keep in mind is that you’re not just looking for sex, right?”
“Right,” she said .
“So, make sure you don’t find someone who only wants to be your first because it’s a turn-on. Find the one who wants to be your first and maybe you’re only, if you’re lucky.”
“I want to be lucky.” Elisa sighed. “Not just get lucky.”
“I know. And, look, I know this Myra woman kind of just fell into your lap. I’m not suggesting you do anything with her. You clearly like her at least a little bit, though, so maybe just see where it goes.”
“One problem with that.”
“What? The kid thing?”
“No. She doesn’t know I’m gay,” she replied.
“Well, you can fix that easily enough,” Gwen said.
Elisa’s phone rang, and she stared down at the screen wide-eyed.
“What?” Gwen asked.
“It’s her. It’s Myra.”
“Answer it.”
“What do I say?”
“I don’t know. Maybe just try a greeting of some kind.” Gwen chuckled.
Elisa picked up the phone and said, “Hello?”
“Hi. It’s Myra.”
“Oh, hi,” she said as if she hadn’t known it was Myra.
“Listen, I finished a job early today, and I’ve got some time. I was thinking that since I took a long break last night to eat with you, that I’d come over and get some work done, if that’s okay. I’m not sure if you’re home or what your plans are.”
“I’m here,” she replied too quickly. “I mean, yeah, that’s fine.”
Gwen just laughed.
“Shut up,” Elisa whispered to her after covering the phone with her hand. “When will you be here?”
“In about an hour, if that’s okay with you.”
“Yeah, that’s fine. I’m finishing up lunch with a friend, and she was just about to leave.”
“I was?” Gwen teased her.